If Fluther is a "community", then why are we so mean?
Asked by
_ (
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)
February 26th, 2009
I am new, and I have seen much violence! Why is this? Can’t we just stop the immaturity and get along?
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79 Answers
What a stupid question! You suck.
This question has been asked many times before, but still, Why?
I think you’re watching the wrong community.
90’s kid has asked this very question a couple of times (in one form or another) and he/she (hard to tell by his avatar when it included a photo) thinks anyone who doesn’t completely agree with him/her is “sooooo meeeaaaan”.
‘The kid’ is a first class dope, hope you aren’t.
@Cardinal
Never have I once asked this question.
Kid: You must be forgetful too. I could cut and paste some of my PMs from you. So could several other people who have commented to me in the past.
Go do your homework.
[Mod says] Please stop insulting, and get back on track. Thank you.
@Cardinal
those are PMs not questions.
I have asked you why you are being so mean, yes, but for God’s sake that’s a PM.
All’s fair in lurve and war.
Seeing as @90s_kid is the only one in @_ ‘s fluther, I think I know who they may be.
A) We’re human.
B) We’re online.
C) We frequently talk about things that people feel strongly about.
It’s so much worse at other online communities. Here we may get in the occasional tif, but it never devolves into the kinds of civil war I’ve seen elsewhere.
I feel nothing but love here. It’s a real thing.
Violence…on Fluther?
Am I just missing all these mean awful things that are happening on Fluther?
I disagree with the premise that the community of Fluther is mean.
@Eambos
Hell, no!
He just added me, and I want to be in everyone’s fluther, so I added him.
No one’s ever been mean to me on fluther even if I deserved it.
We’re not mean. You just won’t get away with saying things without justification.
You only hurt the ones you love, damnit < : {
Cancer and my name is Larry, huh
And I like a woman that loves everything and everybody
Because I love everybody and everything
And you know what, ladies, if you feel that this is you
Then this is what I want you to do
Ooh, yeah, take my hand
Let me take you to Love Land
Let me show you how sweet it could be
Sharing your love with Larry, listen
Float, float on (You better float with me now)
sometimes we get heated, but it’s all good.
For example, I’ve had quite nasty “fights” with Mr_M and delirium. Now we’re fine, because one or both of us was able to admit we were a little heated. If you’re mature enough to get past it, then you can see Fluther for what it is, and not a mean place.
i always assumed people didn’t like me on fluther because i’m extremely sexy. like all the time.
plus, after the Stamford incident, there’s a lot of “anti-monkey” rhetoric being thrown about.
@eponymoushipster – no generally it’s because we can’t spell your name! ;) Sending you the lurve!
I have not witnessed “mean” nor “violence”
Spirited yes.
Mature yes.
Interesting yes.
@cak thanks. my theory is a 1000 monkeys in front of computers could eventually spell my handle.
“It was the best of times, it was the ‘blurst’ of times?!? stupid monkey!”
oh, and another thing? violence? come now.
<pokes poofandmook’s eye out with a highlighter>
@eponymoushipster – just know that if I ever drunk fluther – you’re getting new, creative names!
I can only speak for myself, but what I’ve noticed is although I may find myself at odds with someone during one question, I may agree with (and lurve) them in another. It’s human nature to be passionate in whatever you believe in. Sometimes (like in my case) fingers type faster than the brain thinks, and reactions might not be put in the best possible words. I do believe some people here get off on being the one who goes against everyone, or the one that thinks their behavior is superior to everyone else no matter what the situation, but those people are few and far between.
What makes you think that communities are all kittens and flowers? All communities have conflict.
@tinyfaery
Even kittens and flowers have conflicts. I’ve seen it.
I’ve killed at least one conversation by “hijacking” it back to the original topic. People thought I was mean and took their marbles and went home. I dunno. Sometimes “mean” is in the eye of the beholder.
Also, the closer any people are, the more likely they are to step on each others’ toes.
@laureth I didn’t think you were mean. :)
All communities around the world have “mean” people. And as the punk badges proclaim: “Mean people suck.”
@laureth you totally ruined it!
pout, stomp, stomp
Seriously, they were having a great conversation, but by no means do they have a right to say who can and can not participate.
you’ve been waiting to do that for a long time, haven’t you Dave? I knew it!
anger? what anger? who’s angry? who’s mean? let me at ‘em!
the collective is not mean, we’re just honest. we help you form yourself into a jello mold that can fluctuate and be flexible. you know, flow with the tide.
lions tigers and bears—oh my! but this sea of stingrays, dormant and active, can be quite forgiving. suck on a coral reef for a while. you’ll get used to the water.
@PupnTaco I actually can poke poof in the eye with a highlighter!!
I was kind of wondering if I was reading the question right. But judging by the responses, I guess I did. I have never seen any “mean” opinions, or questions for that matter, that didn’t express any kind of normal human response. Some opinions are more direct than others, and some are very broken down with information about that persons way of thinking. I guess its all about how you feel about certain topics. I think Fluther is great, my girlfriend got me into it….
I have occasionally witnessed an exchange of insults but by and large I would have to say that the people here are well behaved. And the range of knowledge and experiences is really quite extraordinary.
It’s only “mean” if your vocabulary is in need of improvement. Sarcastic, ironic, sardonic, laconic…
Help me out…I’m catching ”-ic” disease here…
@poofandmook, just to show you how people’s perceptions are different, I never felt we EVER had a nasty fight!
@jonsblond Whoa. Can’t believe you actually spelled out their username.
@Nimis Tell me about it. It was a bitch!
@jonsblond As I was reading their quip, I was thinking to myself that I hope I never have something to say to them directly. Ha.
Lurve for making the effort.
that name makes mine look ok.
@Nimis Thank you. I’d do anything for Ramsey, he’s my man.
@eponymoushipster Your name is as easy as pie compared to that one!
thank you. <tears up, runs away>
@tinyfaery – I like his name, I just don’t like my eyesight! I do love the auto-fill capability. btw, I like your new look. :)
@tinyfaery thanks – i’ve used it for like 9 years or something.
It’s my new, old look. ;)
Hmm, we’ve gotten away from the thread here. Someone wanted to know why this is such a mean community. Well, if you ask a biologist, the small rodent known as the mean weasel isn’t called that because it is nasty, but because in that context, mean is used to describe its size, which is very small. So we are a small community, eh?
What’s lurve got to do with it?
“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t be mean. We don’t have to be mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”—Buckaroo Banzai
If you think the folks on Fluther are “mean”, you must be hanging out with the Waltons in real life.
In my experience, most fellow Flutherites are nothing but helpful, insightful and intelligent. Debates may get heated (I’ve chewed out more than a few people), but maturity dictates that it’s about the subject, not the person.
I have strongly disagreed with someone on one or two threads (galileogirl, daloon, girlofscience, seVen, 90s_kid), but then completely lurved and or respected their opinion elsewhere. I’m sure some might say the same of me.
Such is life – if you really live it.
Is it just me…or does anyone else think of Peter Gabriel’s song Shock The Monkey when you see eponymoushipster’s avatar? Not to be mean or anything, I’m just saying!
If Fluthering were in-person, we’d sometimes have to “move it out to the front yard”, as my mom would have said.
And, yeah, Shock the Monkey crossed my mind!
every community has assholes.
also, online it’s easier to a) be meaner and b) take things in a way they weren’t intended to be taken in. there are a lot of strong opinions on here, things are bound to get heated. also, i think that with fluther gaining more fame, most regulars on here are quick to defend fluther against people who just want answers to homework, or who just want to spam the site with (there is such thing) stupid questions.
don’t take it so seriously.
@bythebay I didn’t until now. That is now the official “song that is stuck in my head today”. lol :P
@jonsblond: I’d give anything to see you walking around humming that song in the grocery store!
@bythebay if anyone even attempts to shock the monkey, there will be consequences.
Shock the monkey to life
Shock the monkey to life
Cover me when I run
Cover me through the fire
Something knocked me out’ the trees
Now I’m on my knees
Cover me, darling please
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Don’t you know when you’re going to shock the monkey
@bythebay lol I’ll let you know how my shopping trip goes this afternoon. :)
@syz: Ha! Thank you. Has anyone figured out what the watermelon was for?
Buckaroo Bonzai was the first thing I thought of when I read this question because, frankly, I haven’t seen much mean here at all. Disagreements? Yes. Strong opinions? Yes. Mean? Not so much.
Strong opinions, sure. I have noticed posts where a person seems to get smart ass and then when someone calls them on it, thinks they are being picked on. Really getting tired of those.
Note: It seems _ was banned.
It’s hard to put a good funny comment across in text because a.) humor and sarcasm don’t do so well in print, and B.) too many people are whiny babies. oh wait, did I say the second one out loud?
@cyndyh NICE quote! ! ! Those words changed my life. I lurve me some Buckaroo!
Thank you, mrswho. I’m wondering about the background regarding your username. Hmmmm.
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