When Girls are trying to get a guy why do we go wrong sometimes?

Because you are assuming that a young guy could be happy with only one breeding partner in addition to believing that you can change him. Not to mention the slight misconception of women that there are men out there that do fulfill all the outlandish qualifications that women set for them.

@pekenoe i did not say i was trying to change him.. or ever did.

Some girls get too aggressive, which makes them look desperate, and guys like to “win” the girl.

Some resistance works better than none.

Not obvious enough

There are an infinite number of reasons why, where both parties are guilty of the wrong doing. Not all women are thinking “I want to be married to this guy, have his baby, but I want to mold him!” like our friend Pekenoe is stereotyping… we don’t all think with our uteri. I do, however, think that sometimes girls need to grow up. I learned that the hard way. If he’s not enjoying you as much as you are him, he’s not “the one.” If he ends up treating you like crap, he’s not “the one.” If he turns out not to be the kind of man you want to marry without asking him to change, he’s not “the one.” One day you will find “the one” and that’s when you’ll realize you’ve done nothing “wrong” in previous relationships and have nothing to prove to anyone. You can be comfortable being you and you’ll actually be relieved that you don’t have to do the whole dating game.

I see a theme with Nichole18 questions, they are all about guys and all very vague.

@Triiiple maybe there are themes to my questions… but whats it to you!!!

There are as many reasons as there are girls and guys. If you would add some more specifics in the Details section of your question it would help.

First, one cannot “get” guys. If you are attracted to a guy and he is attracted to you, chances are you can start a relationship.

Nobody gets it right every time. Every guy has different preferences. Maybe you are a Ford and he likes BMW’s

@pekenoe dont mean to offend, but you do sound a bit bitter and maybe even jaded?

I think a lot of girls, until they learn better, will focus on whether or not the guy likes them instead of whether they actually like him. It’s all well and good for a guy to be foxy, but if a woman’s worried that he’s so hot that she isn’t good enough for him, and starts becoming self-conscious and fake, then it turns into a big mess.

I know young woman after young woman who has gone through that. And when they got the guy, it turned out a lot of times he had incompatible personality traits and good looks don’t make up for that (which doesn’t mean that not-so-good-looking men also can’t be jerks, they certainly can be. I dated a couple).

I think: just get to know a person before you go ga-ga and see if he’s worth your time. I know it can be hard when hormones are racing, but force yourself to slow down and really observe. That’s probably good advice for anyone, not just young women.

@aprilsimnel – oh yeah – that happens, a lot.

What goes wrong? You change for the guy. You fit whatever mold he wants, you don’t stay true to yourself. You obsess, concentrate on it, way too much and look too desperate. You focus on the guy and don’t continue your life, it’s all about finding the right guy. You don’t look for someone that compliments you.

You are young, you’ll learn. As soon as you learn not to have it as your dominating thought, the better. There’s a certain air of not caring too much about finding someone, that makes you look more confident. Confidence, not being arrogant or cocky, is attractive.

Being desperate and having “finding the right guy” as your main thought, isn’t attractive.

You’ll learn. You’re young. You’ll make a lot of mistakes.

Sometimes they just don’t like you.

Not trying to sound harsh, as sometimes they just don’t like me either.

@Nicole18 you should try and give more details so your questions don’t seem as vague and don’t all seem to have the same theme.

But to answer your question… I think DrBill got it right, I always like to “win” the girl over using a boyish charm and maybe at first getting some resistance. But don’t give too much resistance, or you might come across as not remotely interested at all.

The key to getting what you want (and who you want) is to be direct about your intentions from the start. Think someone is cute and you want to get with them? Tell him right away!

@Likeradar I don’t believe that! Not if you wear that cute purple shirt!

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@bigbanana: Been married 37 years and counting, been a man for 59, have had sex with one woman. I tell it like I see it when it comes to womens wishful thinking.
Young men are basically insensitive jerks who think with their penis first, most men who don’t behave that way are gay. How many women would love to have “that” guy, but….... he’s gay?

Plus…. if I gave a wishy washy answer it wouldn’t be any fun.

because we’re incredibly foolish and don’t learn from our mistakes… not talking about myself AT ALL of course!

because they (girls) are trying. Once you are content with yourself and don’t “need” a guy then they will be drawn to you. They are natural hunters. Let them persue you for goodness sake!

because some girls aren’t happy with just being themselves…some of them try way too hard and end up doing all the wrong things…try being yourself.

Yes! Be yourself, find that person, and than become it. Men are automatically attracted to women who are not afraid of being themselves, because than they don’t have to be scared about what they might find out down the road, it’s all upfront already.
On the other hand, liking a guy that doesn’t like you might only be part of the process of finding out who you are. It definitely was for me, and me and him are still friends, but it helped me figure out that I didn’t just obsess over him because I liked him, but more because I wanted to be him…Not that I wanted to be a guy, but just that I wanted to be more liberated in ways he was at the time.