My sister is a beautiful girl but guys dump her n don't treat her right?

I’m failing to see the question. Sorry.

right. cabbage.

Watch the movie “he’s just not that into you” it might help

I thought it was pancakes

Start with sitting down and having a heart to heart talk about relationships. Just the both of you, no distractions. Let her know that she should be more selective in the men she decides to date and when it comes to being treated right, she deserves someone special in her life and her happiness is paramount to everything else.

If her standards are low, in your opinion, let her know how you feel and tell her that you feel she needs to think more positively about herself and raise her standards, if need be. Relate to her your observations and your concerns about her life. Above all, be there for her and listen to her and love her unconditionally no matter what the outcome may be.

Hopefully the person that you are ‘hooking’ her up with will be the change that she needs as far as a positive relationship is concerned. I hope it works out well for her.

Is this a rant or a question?

Thanks blue for an actual answer. I guess everyone failed to see the question followed by a question mark in the huge paragraph I wrote.

Btw she’s an extremely pretty girl I’ll be honest sometimes I wonder if they get insecure.

What’s their deal

The question is “What advice can I give her?”

Um yes. Idk what to say sometimes cuz I get frustrated.

Well dang if she’s pretty have her make a match.com profile or make one for her and show her the kind of guys that are looking for a girl like her.

@ will she’s actually been on match. She dated a guy for 10 months he was 5“5 she still went out with him. Not to say that’s bad to be so short but the point is she isn’t stuck up and gives everyone a chance. And he dumped her for his shitty ex fiancé who cheated on him.

She has such bad luck with men I don’t get why. I’m running out of things to tell her cuz I don’t understand why either. She’s a nice girl do guys not like that

Maybe she just needs to be single for a while and have fun with her friends, and not worry about being with a guy. Maybe she needs to find herself first before a guy can find her. i think we’re running out of things to tell you

@babi- her friends suck to. They all hooked up with her ex boyfriend. I on the other hand have the opposite problem my sister has. Idk I guess she just hasn’t found the right one yet

I just think by advice sucks sometimes. That’s why I’m asking it on here.

how old are you both?

I’ll be 24 very soon n she will be 29 very soon

She should move and get a fresh start.

Was this just a story about your sister?

@will it’s funny you say that because I think that’s her next move. She wants to move.

You both aren’t very old. Live
Life and stop worrying about the guy thing. It will happen when it’s right. Seriously watch that movie.

That movie got very poor ratings no thanks. Guys have told her shes to pretty for them n they get insecure.

You might want to discuss the following quotation, and how it might apply to her life:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Attributed to Albert Einstein

Stop listening to her complain. You can’t make her do anything she doesn’t choose to do. You need to accept that. She needs to work on self-esteem issues that aren’t related to dating, and the dating thing will fix itself after that.

The insanity quote I’m not to sure on how that related to my question but the other quote was better.

It’s early in her life. She’s gonna make mistakes with guys. They can’t do anything that she doesn’t let them, in most cases. If she’s unhappy, she’ll dump them, but there’s really nothing you can do about it, you can’t make her listen.

Is this one of those questions that the answers are never going to make the poster happy?

Babi what are you talking about? We are conversing with each other.

@babirurtle36 May I ask what exactly IS a rurtle?

@babirurtle36 almost certainly.and never ever say pancakes! _oops!

Babi are you one of those answerers who has no real advice but just sticks around and watches the question and makes stupid remarks that make no sense?

I appreciate the people actually answering my question I’m going use your advice next time she mentions it.

@missjena no, that’s me. narf narf narf!

Lol at least you admit it : )

People keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. And are shocked when they get the same result over and over and over again. Being sweet and pretty and all that has nothing to do with it. Your sister’s criteria for dating seems to be picking the wrong type of guy over and over and over again. That’s insanity; if she doesn’t enjoy the way she’s treated, why does she keep choosing the same type of person?

@missjena Are you one of those people who is rude to people just asking a question and giving their honest opinion?

pancakes pancakes pancakes!!! yuuuummmm :) hahaha… my name, Ok so im embarrassed to even say…. Ahem.. Its actually a typo. It was supposed to be babiturtle36…..but came out babirurtle36. Lovely eh :)

@alfreda ah now I get it. Your right;however, it’s almost like the men she dates tricks her. They are so sweet and nice at first. Then they flip their switch and are nasty mean people. Or they just do hurtful things.

@alfreda I am going to use your advice though most definitely. It’s a good quote.

I’m not rude I just like to defend myself when other people are rude. ; )

If she’s getting older, perhaps she will consider older men. I’ve found that young men can sometimes be unschooled jerks, but an older man can have a kind of class and perspective that the younger ones sometimes lack.

Of course there are exceptions, so nobody jump on me too hard, mmmkay?

fine i’ll date her

Or guys that are ordinary looking, or quiet. Or have interests in common with her.

She’s dated older men too lol I’m sure she won’t have this problem till she meets mister right! Not mr right now lol

Aww will haha great problem solved!

you should also show her this thread.

im here to please

I should.

She needs to cultivate interests that don’t focus on dating.

@babirurtle36 I suspected as much. ; )

Your absolutly right and I’ve told her not to focus so much on her love life but she says she cantbhelp it! Lol after work she wants a good man to come home to

maybe she should get a puppy or try a yoga class?

How does she meet these men?

Does she have any interests of her own, besides finding a guy?

Does she think of herself as anything more than a future wife and mother?

Where does she live? What is her ethnic heritage? What does she do? What does she believe a woman’s role is? Does she have a religion?

I mean, give us a break. How can we answer a question like this without specifics? There is no general rule about finding a guy. Well, maybe there’s one.

The harder you look, the harder they are to find.

If she is meeting these men at bars, or other places as such, then she will be likely to meet bad men. Not all men there are bad, but the majority are. Try Match.com or eharmony.com, I’ve heard are the most successful. I know people who have Match accounts, and have met a lot of people there that they date and like. :)

I agree with the harder you look the harder they are to find. She meets men in all different ways through a friend, online, at restaurants , at a bar, etc. Yes she has many interests. She loves going to watch bands, concerts, loves music, she’s into fashion, and is pretty much up for anything. She sees herself much more then a future mother in fact I am pretty sure at this point she doesn’t think she’s going to meet the right one. She’s a pofessional makeup artist, hair stylist, and cosmotologist. Wants to open her own salon/spa one day. Yes she has a religion and @mangeons she’s met men on match like previouy mentioned and it did not end well. He dumped her for his cheating ex fiancé.

post a picture of her. let’s see what we’re working with here.

Haha I don’t know how to post pics. But she is a really pretty girl and extremely sweet. Either way we live in ny I think that’s the problem. People here are not the same then in other places. At least this is what I hear.

@missjena there are a lot of beautiful people in NY, and a lot of freakshows. i used to live there, i know.

Just put a pic on photobucket and let’s see if she’s all she’s cracked up to be!

It’s really not life or death if she doesn’t have a guy at age 29. Maybe she tries too hard and the guys can feel her desperation. According to you her boyfriends suck and all her friends suck. It sounds like she should get a whole new circle of friends. But not having a “soulmate” or love of your life at 29 is really no big deal. If she could just relax about it, she just might run into the right guy.

yeah, i’m 29 and single. and a love machine.

@eponymoushipster I’ve heard that about you.

@chyna Yeah, Megan Fox is a friggin big mouth.

@eponymoushipster Yeah, the ugly little troll.

Hey missjena you can send your sister my way ; ) ill make up for all those guys who treated her badly.

amen.

edit: i should say, i’ve been drinking.

She is attracted to the wrong type of guys. Or she is a total bitch when you aren’t around. Either way I don’t think she will listen to any advice you give. People don’t like to hear that they are doing it wrong.

@johnpowell excatly, i like to be told im not and its not me its them all the time.

Sooner or later she might have to learn its her not them.

Really, “pretty” and “nice” says almost nothing about her. “Likes music and fashion” and “make-up artist” doesn’t say a whole lot either. Maybe she’s witty or maybe she’s dull. Maybe she’s funny. Maybe she’s vapid. Maybe she’s oblivious to many many dating red flags. Who really knows from what you’ve said.

If these have been her results so far then I think she probably does need to forget about dating for a while and just do her own thing. Good luck to her.

What are her hobbies? What are her interests?

Just out of curiosity, what’s her criteria for earning the moniker of “good man”?

@AlfredaPrufrock: good question!!!

When it’s the same mess over and over, the common denominator is usually oneself. And in this case, your sister needs to know that people will treat her the way she teaches them to treat her. Men who have dogged out your sister learned early on from her in some manner that it’s OK to treat her like crap. That has got to stop.

She has to treat herself with the respect she deserves before anyone else will. That means ANYONE. And I’ve learned that jerks like to test people to see how much crap they can get away with. I hope you can tell her that and that she will begin to do what she needs to do to be in a good relationship with herself first.

Men will come and go. But the relationship she has with herself is the one that’s going to last the rest of her life, right? So, then. Ask her if she’d treat you or her BFF the way she treats herself. Maybe that will wake her up a bit.

@aprilsimnel – I just read through this and I’m thinking it’s a confidence level. Also, I wonder if she’s taken any time to not date and just to be. Not be part of a couple, but to live. It’s amazing what happens when you just start to live your life and not look to be part of a relationship.

I also love the last two sentences of your comment, “Ask her if she’d treat you or her BFF the way she treats herself. Maybe that will wake her up a bit.”

It’s amazing how poorly some people treat themselves and then can’t figure out why other people don’t treat them better!

@cak – Yes. I almost feel like these precepts should be taught in school early, or something. A lot of people do not figure this out until they’re much older (I know I didn’t!) and look at how much is wasted.

missjena: if your sister is half as great as you say she is, give her my number. Hell, I’ll even dump my current gf for her! lol

seriously, anyone worth anything will eventually find what they deserve. Hell, everyone gets what they deserve! I know that being 29 is probably the worst age you could ever be. There’s that psychological barrier of 30 coming up, where in modern societies we feel we need to have accomplished everything and have the proof to show for it. I know that when I turned 29 I felt this urgency to get married ASAP to the first woman I found. And that I’d never be able to have children once I’d turn 30. And that I was a real failure since I didn’t have $1,000,000 in the bank or a flashy car and a villa.
So my advice to your sister is: wait. Live your life normally and without any stress until you turn 30. Turn 30, then spend a couple of months alone to get used to the idea. And then the right guy will just come along when you least expect it. It will happen when she’s exactly 30years, 4 months and 2 days old. Because that’s when she will have stopped trying too hard. And guys will learn to appreciate her more.

And less seriously, I wish we lived close so I could actually date your sister and see for myself. I am a pretty decent guy believe it or not. Never had any complaints and most of my exes would vouch for me, so I guess that counts for something.

To simply view people as “bad” or “good” in and of itself is a problem and most likely a deterrent to finding a healthy relationship.

Huh

Judging from your posts, you sound like you do a lot of judging of other people. This may be deterring you for seeing people as they really are—flawed and imperfect, yes, but real people none-the-less. “Bad” and “good” are relative (and judgemental) terms. You may be missing some things with your judgements of others.

I do a lot of judging of other people? Just like your doing right now about me? Damn people are just straight up rude on this forum. How am I judging people? You know what don’t even answer that because I Dont really care. What do my other posts about me have to do with this question pertaining to my sister?

In case you didn’t notice TB but this question is about my sister…..

@missjena I’m not judging you. And sorry if my statement was confusing, I meant your posts on this thread. I’m not familiar w/ any of your other posts.

Anyway, I’m not here to argue and I’m sorry if my statement came off as confrontational. Good luck to you and your sister.

Aw tb that’s okay. I just took your post the wrong way. No hard feelings. Thanks for the advice. Take care

^^^^ I love it when Jellies kiss and make up. :o)

@Bluefreedom: And that’s only the first step leading down the garden path! Hold on tight. It’ll be an exciting ride!

What can I add – the thread is at 85 and counting: Guys are schmucks, and the nicer the girl, the jerkier the guy will be. Solution: be a jerk, too.

@Zen: Not all guys are schmucks and not all girls fall for schmucks or jerks or jackasses. It seems that more guys without girlfriends think they have to be asses to get girlfriends. We usually don’t hear from guys who have relationships saying they need to be jerks. (G’head, someone who’s a guy in a relationship will speak up to try to prove me wrong.) It’s just that guys without the girl remember the jerks the get the girl and not the girls in the happy relationships with nice guys.

Don’t be a jerk to get the girl. You won’t like yourself or the girl you might end up getting in the short-term. Be the guy you really are and you’ll end up with a girl that’s worth the efforts long-term. Cheers.

@cyndyh Point taken. I am presently in a great relationship, but thanks. Gave ya lurve.

@Zen: Back at you. :^>

Hopes everyone realizes I was being sarcastic (ironically, satirical as well) in my last comment. I do not think the solution is for guys to be jerks. Shee-eesh!

Well, that’s not always so obvious, so thanks for saying so. You’d be surprised how often I’ve heard that seriously stated.

I think whether she is pretty or not. She probably is just going through a phase of meeting “dicks” in order to find a decent guy. Stop focusing on her looks in the bigger picture it’s meaningless. Perhaps she herself has trouble trusting for example? Or does other things that scares guys off? Or perhaps she is not sure about what she wants in a relationship. Perhaps sit her down, and get her to draw a mental picture of the type of guy she wants and feels she deserves. This might stop the random hooking up with random guys.