You see it often (and for some, you've experienced it).Why do you think that women are so critical of each other?

All of the above man. Women are vicious against each other…the only thing great about that is the hope that a cat fight ensues and someones shirt gets ripped off.

Women are evil bitches at heart.

I think it’s because we have such high expectations for each other. Women expect a lot from other women. Then again, there can also be those reasons jmah mentioned above.

For me, it’s that I (for some stupid reason) often imagine what I would do with my looks if I were in another person’s body. It’s just a fun fashion game I play with myself for entertainment. As in, “If I was given her body and face, how would I make myself look? What would I do with my hair and my make-up? How would I dress?”

Perhaps it is because of this game that I play that I am so critical of other women. I tend to think women look great if there aren’t any changes I would make to their hair/make-up/dress if I were in their bodies. (Oh geez, I realize how egocentric that sounds, sorry.) I tend to be very judgmental of how they present themselves if I find tons of changes I would make. “What year does she think it is with that hair?” “Is she serious about that bronzer?” “That girl must not own a full-length mirror. Why on earth would she wear such unflattering pants?”

Whether I want to or not, I always find myself making these sorts of judgments about people, and sometimes I just want to grab people and make them over because I know they could look so much better than they do.

After typing this, in reflection, I think that women are so critical of each other because there is so much we can do with our hair/make-up/dress that there is so much to criticize. And good hair/make-up/dress can make all the difference in the world. Men are probably less critical because there isn’t so much an emphasis on their appearance, and there isn’t as much to judge or want to change when making over a man.

People of both genders struggle amongst themselves for status, but the battlefield isn’t always the same for men as for women because the culturally conditioned signs of status are different.

Men compete in the arena of job position, salaries, degrees…nice, measurable indicators. Character and personality are secondary to these more concrete metrics, so little would be gained by personal attacks on one’s rivals. The male ideal is that everyone plays the success game and whoever gets the highest score is the winner.

Status among women has long been measured by far less concrete standards. Personal appearance and character play a much greater role. A Leona Helmsley, as successful as she would have been by male standards, was universally reviled because she failed the tests of taste and character that are supposed to define female success. Style has the ascendancy over metrics in this scheme. So these more personal features are high-value targets for female rivals.

I don’t think that all this is necessarily inherent to either gender, but socially ingrained rules like these persist long after they’ve been deemed intellectually invalid.

Women are envious.

because they dont want some woman coming and taking her man and their envious because if they thing the other woman is more beautiful, skinny, has a bigger bust, ect that they want they want they talk about her to make themselves feel better. They want their man to want them more not the other woman.

@LouisianaGirl: Are girls really still envious in today’s world of women with a bigger bust? In the media, small boobs have seemed to be “in” for the past several years. Most R-rated comedies in which you see boobies feature smaller ones. I think small boobs are often associated with being thin, and I don’t think as many women are striving for large breasts as they used to.

@girlofscience I agree, I definitely don’t think big boobs are “in” anymore…yeah there’s guys who prefer big boobs over smallers ones, but I feel like emphasis has been placed more on the butt and/or hips the past few years.

As to the original question, I think it’s way too complex to say that women are just jealous or envious of other women. There’s just so many qualifiers, like if a woman is criticizing another woman in her head or out loud, and if it’s out loud, is she saying it to a man or another woman? Does she really dislike the outfit/hair/makeup, or does she feel threatened because her boyfriend/girlfriend is present and she worries they might become more interested in this other woman? Is she insecure about her looks or just a rude person in general? In my experience, criticizing another woman has never boosted my self-esteem because I always questioned my motivations behind my criticizing her, and I have a feeling most women are this way…criticizing someone else to make yourself feel good never really works for anyone. Women are pretty complex creatures, so I really don’t think it’s possible to give a general answer to a question like this.

I don’t think that all women are critical of each other. I think that men can be critical of each other too.

If you are happy with yourself, then you really don’t care what other people think.

I’d rather relate to women than compete with them at this point in my life. How sad. Hahah.

I also think if you were happy with yourself and secure, you would be less opt to point out other women’s flaws. JMO

Because we’re secretly jealous of each other. But I’ve found that while most women do have that “wall” put up, if you can be the first one to pay a compliment, soften your tone, relax your body language, most women will respond and react accordingly and you can get to know each other better.

I think Marina largely nailed this one.

Beyond that, I think we kind of condition each other to do this (although I can’t really explain why that happens). Girls reinforce other girls’ criticisms of each other by agreeing, laughing, etc.

I started at a new school with a relatively small, tight-knit sub-community last September and have been really fascinated to see the social dynamics in play. I think for whatever reason, women really bond with each other by discussing other people, and these people are disproportionately other women, maybe because women spend more time with women, or women identify more strongly with other women.

The majority of conversations between girls tend to be about each others’ behavior—sometimes critiquing, sometimes analyzing, sometimes judging, sometimes trying to understand, sometimes just complaining. And I think one thing that’s really crucial to understand is that we can criticize each other pretty harshly, and still absolutely, unequivocally love and adore each other. I don’t agree with all the decisions my friends make and I don’t necessarily like everything about them, but I still love them, or else we wouldn’t be friends.

Cheeb nailed it!

(and stole my answer, ha ha!!)

Ugh.

A wise man once said, “The mind of Man is dark and murky, but compared to the mind of Woman, it is crystal-clear.”

Because we are so critical of ourselves ..