Tough question, but, have you ever had someone pass away in front of you?

Yes, My Father. Why do you ask?

Yes, I was with my Grandmother when she passed away.

No, but I have been there almost immediately afterward.

Many, many times. Sometimes expectantly, sometimes not. Sometimes participating actively, sometimes passively watching. Then again, I’ve been working in hospitals for 10 years, so, it isn’t unusual. Weirder is the feeling of having to go about the rest of your day as if nothing happened.

I was next to a guy who had a grabber in a grocery store and he died.

Yes. When my grandfather passed away, he had his whole family; wife, kids, grandkids surrounding his bed.

@Sueanne_Tremendous A grabber???

I went through this with a family member recently. It was the hardest thing that I had ever gone through (being there while they suffered through their sickness, which then led to their death). It’s something that my family and I are dealing with. The last images are what is hard.

I agree. I’m so sorry for your loss. It took me 6 months for the nightmares to slow down after my Father died. The doctor overdosed him, which lead to his death. It was very hard on all of us. He went into the hospital for back pain, and a week later he was dead. Needless to say.. that man is no longer a doctor.

But I know what you mean about trying to shake off those final moments. My heart goes out to you.

@jmah My sympathies on your loss. I know those images are very hard (I remember how shocked I was when I walked into my dad’s hospital room after he died), but in time you will be able to replace them with the memories of good times with your family member. Please take care.

When my grandfather passed, it was just peaceful. He drifted off to sleep and then… just stopped. No sudden movements, just slower and slower breathing. I miss that man.

(((hugs)) I wish it had been so peaceful with my Dad. they gave him an injection of morphine. within seconds, he began the Cheyenne stokes breathing pattern, and within 3 to 5 minutes he was gone. They did nothing. They just stood there. My Father did not have any type of DNR. My Mother won a huge lawsuit, but no amount of money could replace my Dad. :(

no but i have been there right before someone has died

@scamp, I’m so sorry. :(

With my Mom, the last few days she went into a coma (terminal cancer); she awoke once during that time, opened her eyes and smiled at us all. Our family was perpetually by her beside for weeks. I remember her doctor coming in and explaining to us that her body will slowly start to shut down; all apart of the dying process. Her finger and toenails started to turn blue (my sister who is an RN kept checking her fingers and toes; all things that the doctor said for us to look for). My sister climbed into the hospital bed with my Mom and held onto her. My Mom was breathing out so much CO2 at this point that my sister said at one point she, being right next to my Mom, felt as though she was going to pass out. The way she struggled to breath and the way her mouth was gaping (while in a coma) the last few days are images that stick with me.

My friend Jake died from AIDS in the early 90’s. He got it back when it as a gay thing. Thanks Reagen. He was young and got bad blood. I think he was eight years old when they gave him the bad blood. It only happened to gays.

So.. I was traveling with my mom through Redlands, CA on our way to visit my sister in Oregon that just found out she was pregnant. We stopped by for a few days to visit Jake and his mom.

He was sleeping 20 hours per day. He couldn’t get off the couch. We went to Del taco to get food. He wanted four soft tacos. He only ate a few bites that we fed him.

Later that night he was missing. The back door was open to the house. He crawled in to the field behind his house to die alone. We bring him back in. The next night he dies on the toilet while his mother is holding him. We witnessed it.

@johnpowell I`m so so sorry for you. He died twice? At 8 years old?

Both my mom and dad. Both from cancer. But it’s too difficult to describe.

@jmah Thanks, but this thread is for you. I just wanted you to know I understand what you must be going through.

It’s so hard to watch someone who you love so much and depended on for so long seem to sink into the bed as they pass. My Brother was in a coma before we ‘let him go”, and his hands and feet were dark also. The nurses told me it was the body’s way of reserving it’s strenght by sending more blood to the vital organs, and less to the extremities.

It’s very hard to see. Try to think of the happier times with her as much as you can. it will help eventually to lessen the nightmarish vison of the last hours. I feel so bad for you. I’m sending you a huge cyber hug.

@johnpowell I’m so sorry you lost such a close friend in such a horrible way.

@LouisianaGirl :: he got bad blood around 8 years old. It took a few years to kill him.

@johnpowell awwww so sorry deepest sympathy to you

I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling, @jmah. I’m sorry for your loss.

This thread is just too depressing. I’m sorry to hear about all your losses.
@johnpowell- Jesus, man. You’ve gone through more shit than anyone I’ve ever known. Karma dictates that the rest of your life should be a happy cake walk.

@scamp I can’t even imagine what that was like. It’s hard to believe something like that can go on with no one in the medical field to stop him.
@jmah my heart goes out to you.

Yes, it was my father and he died of cancer in August of 2000. He was in a hospice for several days in what was called ‘pre-active death’ and according to the nurse, this is where the body starts showing early signs of shutting down.

My family and I were continuously around his bed for those last few days and even though he couldn’t speak to us and he appeared to be in an unconcious state, the nurse said he could hear everything we were saying to him. My older brother and I were each holding one of his hands as he passed away before us and he died very peacefully and painlessly.

Yes. My grandpa, my dad, and last weekend, my aunt. I know where they went, two of them said it as they were leaving…so not sad for me. I’m delighted for them!

btw…they said “home”

yes, two people in accidents (one when I was a kid and one a couple of months ago) and my aunt. Which was a very unsettling experience.