Help With My Poetry Assignment?

Remember that a poem is a muse without song.
Robert frost was closer to the muse than to the poem.
It’s good, but read Frost again, more a muse then a poem.
Then; police will outrun before you sleep,
police will outrun before you sleep.

You say it’s Robbing a Bank on a Snowy Evening, but I didn’t see anything about snow in your poem. Also, you may want to add a couple commas in some places.

Otherwise, it’s good! I think the idea is clever.

Also, you might want to check the way the lines scan. I kept finding myself wanting extra syllables and words. For example, “They will not dare catch me here” to my ear would sound better as “They will not dare to catch me here” You might want to count syllables of each line and see how your’s compares. It has a number of lines that sound awkward, and Frost’s poem depended on its musicality, I think.

PS—much better way to ask for homework help. Good job!

Scansion and meter is off in most lines unless you artificially change how you stress a word. Meter here is about stress rather than syllables. Daloon’s improvement – “They will not dare to catch me here” is perfect and unforced iambics…four of them.

An iamb is one unstressed word or syllable and one stressed, by Jove.

You cannot use “poetry” and “sucks” in the same sentence. That’s the law.

Pretty good parody. And, I agree, a much better way to ask for help.

Duck the problem of no snow by changing the title rather than the poem: how about “Sleepy Evening,” since it sounds like you are worrying about falling asleep while you rob the bank? If that’s a wrong interpretation, pick some other substitute that will get you off the snowy hook.

I agree with fixing the scansion. Also, you can use the same rhyme scheme (i.e., pattern of which lines rhyme with which) without using the same exact rhyming words. Your close echo of Frost does make your parody more effective, but you could probably solve a few of your scansion and meter problems if you’d rewrite lines that are too forced by the fixed rhymes.

As the above comments already addressed the poetic specifics better than I could I will just comment on the poem from a reader’s standpoint.

I enjoyed it and thanks for sharing!

thanks everybody for your great answers!
@Jeruba thats a good idea I think I will use the “sleepy evening” title, thanks!
@daloon I agree with you on the awkward lines, I’ll use your suggestions, as long as they will still keep the rhyme scheme the same and the same # of sylables (its a requirement of this assignment)
you guys are all so helpful. :)

I enjoyed your parody. Following a form is difficult, adding an author’s style is even more difficult. Take the poetic corrections to heart and I think you’ve got a winning A there! Good luck. Seems to me you asked for help to improve you… not to help do your homework. Good job! Hugs