Good quotes?

“Life is a video game. No matter how good you get, you are always zapped in the end”

“You watch television to turn your brain off and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.”

God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

Let the world change you and you can change the world

Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.

What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?—it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.

The rich get richer and the poor get — children.

“Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can!”

Our parents came to this country, escaping persecution, poverty and hunger. Hunger, Harold. They were very, very hungry. They wanted to live in a land that treated them as equals, a land filled with hamburger stands. And not just one type of hamburger, okay? Hundreds of types with different sizes, toppings, and condiments. That land was America!

Religion is the opium of the people

@mirza—could you reference those quotes; who said them?

@hearkat: in order (from 1st to last)

John Updike
Steve Jobs
Chuck Pahlaniuk
Che Guevara
J D Salinger
Jack Kerouac
F. Scott Flitzgerald
F. Scott Flitzgerald
Harold And Kumar Movie
Karl Marx

dang carl marx with that one anwway here are some of mine i think great as
music is my religion – Jimi Hendrix
It’s better to burn out than to fade away – Neil Young
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I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. – Ralph Waldo emerson lol
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The only way to have a friend is to be one. – emerson also

Boredom: the desire for desires. – Leo Tolstoy
apathy is the glove that evil puts its hand into – anonymous
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness. – Allen Ginsberg

“I think, if I were King of Greece,
I’d push things off the mantelpiece.”
—A. A. Milne

Great Simpsons quotes:
“Hi I’m Troy McClure, you may remember me from such educational films as ‘Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly’ and ‘Here Comes the Metric System!’”

“HI I’m Troy McClure, you may remember me from such self-help videos as ‘Smoke Yourself Thin’ and ‘Get Some Confidence, Stupid!’”

“Do I contradict myself?
Well, then I contradict myself
(I am large
I contain multitudes)”
-Walt Whitman

“Our lives are frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”—Henry David Thoreau

“A nation that draws too broad a difference between it’s scholars and it’s warriors will have it’s thinking done by cowards, and it’s fighting done by fools.”—Thucydides

“It’s not that life ashore is distasteful to me, but life at sea is better.”—Sir Francis Drake

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat.”—Theodore Roosevelt

The world is divided into 2 kinds of people: the kind of people who divide the world into 2 kinds of people and the ones who don’t. (Attribution unknown)

A day without sun is like…night. (Seen on a bumper sticker)

If it’s going to be funny later, it’s funny now. (Again, attribution unknown, sorry)

segdeha: I sincerely thought I made up your first quote. I am disappointed to find I was not original. Unless I posted it in a prior thread and that’s where you got it.

Some of my faves:

It’s funny until somebody gets an eye poked out. Then it’s great, big belly laughs. Unknown.

The further the monkey climbs up the flagpole, the more you can see of its ass.
Gen. “Vinegar Joe” Stilwell

Critics are like eunuchs at a gang bang.
John R. Powers

The world is divided into 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary code, and those who don’t.
Unknown

@hossman: I’m sorry to say I’ve heard segdeha’s quote before too, I don’t think you made it up.
Also, I’ve heard a different version of your second one: “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it’s a new game, find the missing eye!!”

@hossman: seqdeha’s first quote is by Robert Benchley

Nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won—Arthur Wellesy

I am exotic – I am half-white and half-caucasian——Dumb blond on some mtv show

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish—- Good Earth Magazine’s final issue

“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”—- John Lennon

This long Carl Sagan Quote

” i think that the exercise of quoting other people is sort of stupid. If youre looking for a solution to a problem or something wise, then just think. You don’t need to have someone else think for you.”
– ari leo frankel

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.————— Steve Jobs

“Does it really matter what…..affectionate people do—so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses?” Mrs. Patrick Campbell

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” Oscar Wilde

“The joy that isn’t shared dies young.” Anne Sexton

“Hell is full of musical amateurs.” GB Shaw

“Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.” Henry David Thoreau

“I believe that quotable aphorisms should be short enough to memorize. Gailcalled

I must have picked it up somewhere along the way. Ah, well.

@hossman, yep, I’ve used that one as an email signatures for years. Here are the other quotes I use in email sigs:

“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.”
-Pablo Picasso

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-Attribution unknown

“A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal—Panama!”
-Guy Steele

“I’ve been feeling kind of lousy for the past few weeks. I don’t want to go to the doctor because I just know what he’s going to say: ‘Stop shooting heroin.’ What a broken record that guy is.”
-Drake Sather

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
-Steven Wright

What if there were no hypothetical questions?
-Attribution unknown

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
-Jack Handy

“I should be content to look at a mountain for what it is and not as a comment on my life.”
-David Ignatow

“Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.”
-President Dwight D. Eisenhower, April 16, 1953

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: “Duh.”
-Conan O’Brien

Q: What to you call a short fortune teller who has escaped from prison?
A: A small medium at large
-Attribution unknown

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller

Life is either a great adventure or nothing. – Helen Keller

Treat others as you want them to treat you. (not sure who wrote that)

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances. – Benjamin Franklin

All success lies in a good breakfast. – Soren Kierkegaard

“Most breakfasts are solitary, nasty and short.” Thomas Hobbes

Political boundaries: the imaginary line separating the imaginary rights of one people from the imaginary rights of another – Ambrose Bierce.

“Never overestimate the intelligence of the American people.” H L Mencken

@gailcalled: Mencken was shortsighted. The word “American” could readily be removed from that quote.

haikus are easy.
but sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refrigerator.

@ Jill E—I think that was Jesus, no?

“Breathe with unconditioned breath the unconditioned air. Shun electric wire. Communicate slowly. Live a three-dimensioned life; stay away from screens.”

Wendell Berry

Is squigish author
of satirical rhyme form?
Harder than it looks.

Whatever you said,
It did not make sense to me.
Can you try again?

@seg: Haiku for gailcalled?
Or squigish and his ice box?
(We are such show-offs!)

“Thanks for this day, for all the birds safe in their nests, for whatever this is, for life.”
Barbara Kingsolver

“When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race.” H.G. Wells

I don’t remember
From where I got that haiku
But it is funny.

“Wedlock – the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue.” – MRS. PATRICK CAMPBELL

Fast food smells the same
No matter where it’s cooking.
That’s not food. That’s toil.

What rhymes with squigish?
Nothing, and believe me, I and
my ego have searched.

@Poser: Bubble, bubble, oil and trouble :-)

*Whiggish doesn’t count. Nor does Yiddish, licorice, oafish, et al.

Piggish, Fig-dish, Pig-dish…

A long time ago
I tried to write a haiku,
but it was too diff—

Haiku from squigish
Is from a funny t-shirt
At threadless.com.

Hannahsugs – that is a great website! I’ve spent far too much money there already.

There is no future in the past
men dont care what’s on tv they only care what else is on tv

“be cupid, the worlds governor / be the author of your own horoscope / be gleeful every day for being the best swimmer among five hundred thousand / be a brilliant soul sparkling in the galaxy while walking on earth” – from “be” by common

“if you cant afford a broken nose how can you afford the fight?” – from “heart problems” by ted leo and the pharmacists

“i rock like a fuckin’ fossil” – from “im raw” by lil wayne (haha.. yea!)

“you have four years to be irresponsible here. relax. work is for people with jobs. youll never remember class time, but youll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. so, stay out late. go out on a tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due wednesday. spend money you don’t have. drink til sunrise. the work never ends, but college does…” – tom petty

You breathe in your first language and swim in your first – Adam Gopnik

I didn’t write any of these I found them on google as is.

s[H][E] be[L][I][E]ve[S]

“Kill em with kindness.”

“I keep three hoes, But don’t call me Santa” – Nicki minaj

“True confidence leaves no room for jealousy.
When you KNOW you are great,
you have no need to hate!”

“Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.”

“Just because I rock doesn’t mean Im made of stone.”

“Im thankful for every break in my heart, Im Greatful for every scar, Some pages turned some bridges burned, But there were lessons learned.”

“It is better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

“Love knows no limits & true friendships last a lifetime.”

“I complained I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”

‎“Early to bed and early to rise, makes a woman healthy, wealthy and wise.”

“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”

“I don’t chase them, I replace them.”

“Pay no mind to the negative kind.”

“Hold your cards close to your chest.”

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”

“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.”

“May the wind always be at your back and the sun always upon your face.”

“Wealth is not enough to give us happiness, but poverty makes happiness impossible.”

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.”

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

“Take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you’ve got and remember what you’ve had, always forgive and never forget, make mistakes but never regret. People change, things go wrong, just remember, life goes on.”

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”

“You can make life what you want it to be through belief in yourself. What is meant to be will always find a way. Don’t let what others think decide who you are. Be bold and courageous, when you look back on your life, you will regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did. What appears to be the end is really a new beginning..”