Do you consider the term "MILF" to be trashy or disrespectful?

Depends on her sense of humor and your tone.

As long as you don’t want to fuck her.

I always thought that referred to someone the age of your own mother that turned you on… If I was 28, I’d take it as an insult.

Just tell her you want to fuck her. Milf’s are hot and if they had a C Section even better.

Usually.

Eh. I think it can go either way, depending on the type of person you’re saying it to. Personally, I would take mild offense to it and I’m only 23. Why? Because I wouldn’t want my sexuality defined by whether or not I have kids. If someone thinks I’m hot, it shouldn’t be for any other reason than thinking I’m hot. And what? Do people think it’s so rare for mothers to still be hot?

After typing that I think I’d take more than mild offense to it. Yeah… It’s pretty damn stupid.

And why would you tell her this? Express interest like a normal person.

I think it’s trashy and disrespectful. If you’re interested in her, choose some eloquent words and express yourself with class.

Are you 12? If you’re 12, then it’s okay to define a 28 year old woman as a mother material. And if you are 12, she will not be interested in you…

@AlfredaPrufrock i thought you had to be 13 to get on this site? ohhhh, your joking…. good one.

she really is a MILF and i think she has some issues with self confidence so i thought this would help, but even if she didn’t have children i would still like to F her

I know there’s nothing wrong with porn, but I would be offended if someone used a porn term to express interest in me.

No one’s stopping you from calling her that, but I’m thinking that if you have to ask if you should use that word, then you probably shouldn’t.

“F her” ??? How about getting to know her, how about showing some maturity and intelligence? Even if all that’s on your mind is sex…she may have some ground to cover before she lets you under hers. Are you sure you’re not 12?

And for any women with any semblance of self respect, being called a MILF won’t help out self esteem issues.

I’d be grossed out if a guy called me that, other than my husband of course.

Seriously, disgusting.

The only time I’m not offended is while watching American Pie.

fair enough, thanks ladies.

@BONZO, this may be just about the worst pick-up line idea I’ve ever heard.

Have you ever had a date? Can you even get women to talk to you?

Don’t try it on me, pal.

I have no problem at all being referred to as a MILF, but the only person who has ever called me that is my man, so I’m not sure how I’d react to someone different saying it. I’m not so sure I would be turned on by a man using that a pick-up line.

i think you have to pay extra to call her that.

@SuperMouse technically she is “my woman”

@AlfredaPrufrock Ive never been on an official date, but Im hoping to start soon

@Bonzo, if she is your woman you can tell her she is a MILF and explain that you mean it as a compliment. Or you could ask her if she minds that you think of her as a MILF. When my man said it I was flattered.

thanks SuperMouse!! flattery is what im going for…

@BONZO, I’m telling you, “MILF” is a big mistake, unless she’s given birth to your children. It’s right up there with walking up to a woman with an ample bustline, saying “Nice rack” and pinching them.
TRASHY, TRASHY, TRASHY, TRASHY!!!!

Did I say TRASHY? TRASHY

@AlfredaPrufrock please allow me to state for the record that I have not given birth to this man’s children. Now, if he started shouting out to the world that I am his MILF, I might consider it trashy, but when he says it to me in private in a playful way I find it flattering.

@AlfredaPrufrock wait – that’s wrong? what about a jovial honk?

@SuperMouse, Wait?! BONZO wants to call you a MILF? Have I missed something here?

My biggest objection is referring to a 28 year old woman as a “mother”. A 28 year old woman is barely old enough be resigned to answering to the name “mom” in the grocery store, let alone take it as a compliment… I’m equating the expression with that oh-so-quaint-term-of-yesteryear “Hot Mamma” I really don’t think “28 female” and “mother” is terribly flattering, unless you happened to be the mother of the children of the man saying it.

Linguistically, wouldn’t the companion word to MILF would be a “mother f-er”? I mean, if I were an MILF, and you acted upon it, that would make you a “mother f-er”, which does not sound at all flattering…

and I’m sitting here laughing about this thread…

@AlfredaPrufrock now I’m laughing too! No, no, no if Bonzo called me a MILF I might have to go all Hapkido on his ass! I was referring to the fact that I have not had my man’s children and he has called me a MILF! If a man who was interested in me, whom I was not dating, called me a MILF as a pick-up line I would be horrified and not respond. When the one that I love does it, I find it flattering. Of course I am a woman of a certain age.

@AlfredaPrufrock you left something out…TRASHY!

so….the jovial honk is ok, then? is that what i’m getting from this?

@eponymoushipster jovial honk…no. Not a good idea.

@eponymoushipster the jovial honk or the old “come in Tokyo” are not my preference, but give it a try with the woman of your dreams, you just might be able to pull it off. Either that or she’ll slap you across the face.

@SuperMouse ..one would hope.

@SuperMouse, tears are streaming down my face…“come in Tokyo” I hadn’t heard that in years….

@eponymoushipster hope to pull it off or for the slap across the face?

@AlfredaPrufrock so, your biggest objection is because she is 28? she has 2 children ages 4 & 6, which makes her a “mother”. and just because she is hot i consider her a MILF even if i never say it to her face (but i might try the jovial honk)

@SuperMouse little bit of A, little bit of B.

Man I love Fluther!

Go listen to this

MILF is only appropriate for someone within your mother’s age range who looks hot, and is 15 years younger looking than she is. A cougar.

@BONZO go in for the honk. maybe a twirling “how ya doin”.

@eponymoushipster, if there were AstroChuck points, I would award you some for that last one…heeheehee

@AlfredaPrufrock thanks. i do what i can.

the point i wanted to get across is that she is still sexy. she has some obvious wear and tear from having children, but is certainly a MILF

wear and tear? i really hope you’re kidding.

Women get wear and tear from a lot of things. Gravity can begin to kick in around age 25 on certain things.

You should tell her just that. Leave her children out of it. Being told you’re sexy as a woman is a much nicer compliment that being told you’re sexy in sprite of being someone’s mother. That sounds like you have a thing for moms. Your mom. Oedipus complex. Creepy…

See how easy it gets misconstrued?

“wear and tear”. that’s great.

is that why c-sections are so popular? less tear?

@eponymous hipster: I’m fairly confident that most ob’s wont give a c-section just because a woman wants to maintain vaginal perfection. I had 2 C-sections, and they weren’t for cosmetic reasons.

They won’t schedule a c-section but once you’re there, they try to convince you to get one. I know too many people with unnecessary c-sections.

Yeah, most c-sections happen after you’ve had an 8 to 10 lb bowling ball stuck in the birth canal for 18 hours…

@casheroo whats wrong with “wear and tear”? is that not what happens when a woman has an 8 to 10 lb bowling ball come out of her vagina?

@AlfredaPrufrock: I thought I saw you in that delivery room!!

@casheroo: Around here they do everything possible to prevent C’s – they are considered only for high risk & crisis situations.
My first was an emergency but the second was scheduled.

there was a discussion here a few weeks back, and an article recently in time, about how, most doctors, once a woman has one C-section, won’t allow a “typical” vaginal birth for subsequent births.

granted, not for looks. but there ARE women who “schedule” baby dumping to fit their schedule, etc.

That’s just silliness, generally as far as I know, vaginal births following c-secions are no more dangerous.

It’s been awhile since I needed to know that, I could be wrong but I don’t think so.

@asmonet that’s what the article said. only .07% or something have issues.

I wasn’t here a few weeks back. Thanks for the info. :)

My Dr. strongly ( and I mean strongly) encouraged me to try for a v-bac the second time. After 24 plus hours of labor the first time, ending in an emergency c-section, I was just too scared to try. SO I was allowed to plan a c-section. There can be complications though they are rare.

@eponymoushipster That percentage is the risk for a uterine rupture during a VBAC. I know way too much about VBACs. Most doctor’s will not perform them, they are not trained to any more, OBs are trained for surgery.
My experience and from reading many many others (on babycenter.com) is that doctors try to force or scare women into c-sections. My doctor on call walked in every 30 minutes asking if I wanted a c/s or to use a vacuum. I was in labor for 24 hours and pushed for 3 hours and got him out.

@asmonet, I believe it depends on they type of incision made in performing the C-section, and that doctors are more prone to do the one that has the least complications later. That’s a good thing. C-sections are much harder than you think.

The part that can be really bad about childbirth, that no one ever tells you about, is an episiotomy. No male is qualified to speak on that topic. That alone was enough to make me think twice about more children after the first one. Both my children were born so quickly and were so big, that there was no other option.

I had my first two vaginally and third c-section (it was necessary the little guy’s heart rate all but disappeared). Give me an episiotomy over a c-section any day. If I had another baby I would do everything in my power to make the delivery a VBAC.

Modified to add: My this thread has taken an interesting and unpredicted turn.

I can’t believe doctor’s still do episiotomy’s. That’s crazy to hear.

Mine have a few years on them. :-)

Our hospital is very serious about reducing the numbers of c-sections and has been for years. I’m not sure why any Dr. would wantonly encourage surgery over a vaginal birth. I never had an episiotomy, but @SuperMouse is right – a c-section is no picnic.

@casheroo and @AlfredaPrufrock mine were born in 98 and 2000 and I had episiotomies with both.

@SuperMouse that makes more sense. they’ve been trying to lower the rate of episiotomies. i know they’re still done, especially in emergency cases, i suppose. but, otherwise they prefer to let women tear naturally now, since the tearing is usually less severe and easier to heal.

Oh Alfreda, please don’t mention that again. It makes my unmentionable parts hurt.

@SuperMouse: I had a friend last week that had one during her daughters birth. No amount of massage and manipulation was going to bring that sweet girl out. @casheroo, natural tearing can be a nightmare to heal and occasionally a mother has to be re-cut in order to create a more optimal healing situation. My best friend is an ob nurse and says tearing can be nightmarish.

Oh god, stop. Guys. Please.

Ah @asmonet; nothing a spritz bottle and some ice can’t relieve!

Poor BONZO! look what a bunch of mothers did to his question…

<—-expresses fake sympathy. Awwwwww.

@AlfredaPrufrock nah, you’re still on topic. you’re discussing what makes you all MILFs. :)

@eponymoushipster: Sassy monkey.

<lifts top hat, dances out stage left waving his cane>

quietly applauds

ah yes, but episiotomies can cause these bad boys lol. now i’m just scaring people with no kids.

sorry the thread went so off topic

Please tell me I’m not gonna hear another anecdote like when Gail shared her fistula story.

If there’s anything people get onto in nothing flat even more than comparing their cats, it’s comparing their childbirth experiences. I bet somebody has done a dissertation on this phenomenon.

[Mod says] Ahem. Back on topic, please.

~yeah, seriously. let’s get back to talking about banging hot moms! GOSH

lol4rl

hehehe

I missed this entire thread. :( I just wanted to add that my first child was a c-section and I was encouraged by my doctor to have a VBAC for my next two children.

I agree with Supermouse. When I was in my mid-20s with two young boys, I found it flattering when my husband would say that I was considered a MILF. I felt insecure at the time and it made me feel wanted. Maybe it means something different now, but during the mid-90s many young celebrities and models were having children. In the media they were considered a MILF. It just meant that you can still be sexy after having children. If someone other than my husband had said it to me because they literally meant that they wanted to F me, then yes, I would be offended.

Pretty much. But then, I’d probably dislike being “labeled” in any way.