Girls: If your Vagina could talk, What would it say?

what a lovely question

FEED ME, SEYMOUR!!

my uterus and vagina fight all the time. uterus wants a baby, and vagina refuses to go through that again.

Get a boyfriend already.

But my head tells it to STFU.

You know, it’s been a lovely life so far. Enough experience early on to feel enlightened and then, treasured stability. Glad I dodged the bullet with those 2 c-sections. I get enough attention, but every now & again I feel a bit neglected. The waxing is appreciated, albeit painful. The monthly trauma is annoying, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel. So far, so good! And by the way, I think my vagina speaks in a voice similar to Salma Hayek.

What the hell is going on? I haven’t had any fun in a few days, I’m bored.

My favorite from the monologues:
SLOW DOWN

It’s been a wild ride!!! :-)

Try the Diva Cup. Really. Please.

Robert!? What happened to William?

‘A, B, C, D, E, F, G…Yes! That’s it!’

I’m beginning to atrophy here. Look into sex, would you?

Peace.

So…tired… Need baby making break… and a drink.

That tickles. Do it again.

“Hey, me and the butthole were talking and we want to remind you: Front to back. Always”. my mom’s mantra that I will never forget and Virgie the Vag always keeps repeating to me

@Sueanne_Tremendous that rule applies to a lot of circumstances.

virgie the vag?! i needed that laugh.

“You REALLY never heard a vagina say the “F” word? Then try one more discount Brazilian wax you #$%&!”

“Read my lips”

“You really DO have to stop riding boy’s bikes. Really.”

“Lets play.”

or

“Give me some attention!”

Hello! Hello! Look, I know you’re busy, but sheesh! Go out! Make friends!

I like how the guys have talking vaginas too.

I’m kinda embarrassed to say this, but, you would probably have a lot of trouble understanding my vagina.

Mainly because it is a penis.

and it has a speech impediment

Rough means rough. Now rail me like a freight train!!

@Blondesjon that’s cause he’s a close talker (that’s what Jonsblond said)

“I’m not bulimic. Stop sticking your fingers down my throat!”

Mmmpf hrrmm burrffl thppppt baauff.

There’s nothing finer than being a vagina.

NOFX, anyone?

“Nothing could be finer
Then to be in my Vagina
In the morning….”

Yes, I’ve been working out. Wanna feel my muscles?

Hey, remember me? We used to be friends. What happened to us?

@Sueanne_Tremendous…We fellas always added the verse:

Nothing else is sweeter
Than when it’s on my peter
In the mornin’...

ahhh sixth grade…

I think Fluther thinks that I am a girl based on some of the questions it recommends for me… bad Fluther!

@madcapper maybe it knows your affinity for vag…

@eponymoushipster…madcapper has an affinity for vagrants?

@eponymoushipster aha perhaps that’s it! haha

I think my vagina is the up all night, partying, “we’re only young once” type of gal. I’m pretty sure she’d ask for a tequila sunrise then party until the actual sunrise. Really she only speaks to order drinks, other than that I would say she thinks I have embraced the “only young once” mantra very well. ;).

@adreamofautumn – as long as she is embracing a ‘man’tra with a condom each time – I think you’re good to go! “only young once” vaginas need to be safe so they can grow old and happy.

@autumn43 I agree. Fortunately my “only young once” vagina is also a serial monogamist (and a safe one at that!). I swear…I don’t know where she learned such things. My brain is always telling her to knock that crap off!

“leave me alone”

Open gently
Enter with care
Enjoy the ride

A happy vagina should have nothing to say

You’re lucky to have me.

It would say: “give me that Sybian pronto!”

I’m ready again…Lets go! lol

The Wife says; Please rub there and then there and then ahhhh- right there… Ohhhhh- _Yes , please add some lube and then don’t stop untill i tell you too…

I wanted to ask this question again since it’s that time of year for the Vagina Monolouges.

“ok Violet, enough already!”

“Please, no more fast food!”

okay, I know I shouldn’t be contributing here.

“This is great! Could you do it a few more times before we go to sleep?”

LOL! This question popped into my “Questions for you” section a whole year after it was posted.

“Curl those fingers and come hither”.

Not having one I can’t say for certain but I bet it would say “my hair is a mess, my neighbor’s an ass, I have moist lips and my BFF is dick” :-)

My vagina agrees with the first poster.