After a weird meteor shower you discover that your pet can talk. What would be the first thing your pet would say to you?

Or, “Spayed!! What were you thinking???”

“I like watching you do it.”

and

“My food tastes like ass.”

@ eponey: and they do know what ass tastes like!! lurve for that comment

You never, ever let me eat tasty stuff I find on the sidewalk, AND I HATE YOU FOR IT! Now rub my tummy!

Is Frank Purdue gay?

Dropthefood dropthefood dropthefood dropthefood!!!

Where is that man that keeps saying “You’ve got mail”.

Feed me you crazy human!

Get this freakin collar off of me! Now give me bacon.

Dude, these balls of mine taste amazing!

I’m still hungry…Feed me!
Then sit down I want a lap.

“Hey man. I swear it wasn’t me. That doesn’t even smell like one of mine!!”

“Shot? That chimp got a raw deal! What would YOU do if someone closed YOUR penis in the cage door?”

Hang on. Your pets can’t talk already? Wierd. Really?

When’s dinner?

Let’s go for a walk now!

But the Petersons let their dogs drink out of the toilet.

I also had a dream about my cat, talking. She had an English accent, and she told me she was actually a “he”! I mustve been on something when I had that wacky dream.

Wait. Are you saying yours normally don’t talk?

I can has cheezburger?

Wow, you masturbate alot.

where did my testicles go? and seriously.. what’s with my purple mohawk?

“Why do I have this shoomp magnetic head, anyway?”

“It’s about time you learned how to speak feline.”

”I want a margarita!!!”

Fact from fiction, truth from diction, after I got done freaking to listen she would say “why do you keep hunting me down when I get out of the house?”

(I don’t have any pets now, but I used to have one two years ago)
anyway, I think he/she would say something like: “What does my name mean?” or “Are you crazy?” or something.

I said “he/she” because I’m not sure if it was a “he” or a “she”. I never really wanted to know. The name was Nirvana.