What's the best excuse you've given your parents? What's the best excuse your kids have given you?

Whenever I would stay out late, I would tell my parents that I fell asleep at a friend’s house.

For some reason, they bought it…

When asked to do the dishes at home after I’d had a job as a dishwasher for a few weeks. I told my folks that I was now a professional and I couldn’t participate in any amateur events at home.

@TitsMcGhee im gonna have to try that haha!

In one of my worst moments, I came home after a party, quite inebriated. My mother found me lying face flat on the basement floor. When she asked what I was doing down there and why I had just came home at 5am, I sat up and said,
“I went over to Caitlin’s house and we hung out in the jacuzzi. We lost track of time and I guess she had the temperature up too high because I am extremely hot and feel very dehydrated. I came down here to cool off and when the couch didn’t help I chose to lie on the floor so I could cool down faster. By any chance could you get me a damp wash cloth?”
Knowing my mother she probably knew I was drunk but let it slide since I was so convincing. :)

@IBERnineD this is EPIC lol

kind of surprised that you could think of that even when you were drunk

All I EVER hear from my boys is either “I don’t know” or “I was bored.”

When I was a kid I almost always came up with some original reason/excuse for my actions. It was looked down upon. I wish to Christ my kids could at least attempt to come up with something like that. Anything. Hell, I’d probably let ‘em get away with whatever they did wrong.

@Sakata I believe that’s exactly what my mom did that time, and I’m sure she knew that since I had work at 9am the next day, that that would be enough of a punishment.
@bluedoggiant I was raised by parents who flew by the seat of their pants, I didn’t fall far from the tree. :)

I also told my mom I smelled like smoke because “God Mom, we’re 18! I wasn’t smoking and I hadn’t been, but other people can if they want to!” What I failed to remember (because I had been drinking a wittle bit) was that I had been standing next to a bonfire for a good four or five hours. Whoops.

Unfortunately for me, since it shows you what kind of life I’ve lead, I never had to come up with an excuse for my parents.

The closest thing I can think of is that one summer when my parents were away, I brought home a cat. My father was allergic to cats, so he was pretty surprised when he got home and asked me why. I told him that it was a stray in a barn, and I couldn’t let it just starve, could I?

In high school my parents came home late one evening and found my “friend” Josh in the house with me which was strictly prohibited. We only made out a little, but that was big time to me, and my dad would’ve murdered him on the spot if he knew. The excuse I gave for why he was there was that I thought someone was prowling around the house, so I called Josh to come over and sit with me until they came home. My mom thanked him, and he went on his way. Josh is now my gay best friend of 15 years.

@ubersiren
if i may ask, what do you mean by “gay best friend of 15 years.” ?

We met in 6th grade and were best buds until high school when hormones started telling us what to do. We made out a lot in high school but we realized it was weird and went back to being friends. He realized he was gay his first year away at college. He came out to me after his second year away at college. He moved back to our hometown, and we moved in together and were on and off roomies for 5 years. We are best of friends. It weirds my husband out when he says how good of a kisser I was. Oh, we are dysfunctional. And that’s only the gist of it…

My oldest is a major perfectionist. When she was in first or second grade, she spent hours on a small writing assignment. When I got fed up with her endless revisions, I exasperatedly asked, “Why must you make everything so complicated?” She looked up at me, sighed, and said, “Mommy, I’m a complicated kind of girl.” I threw my hands in the air, and accepted defeat.

Here are my top excuses:
I ran out of minutes so I couldn’t call you
I didn’t have enough money to pay for a cab to come back home
Everybody was smoking but not me, I know the smell is everywhere
I had wine with my dinner
She’s my cousin
She’s a friend
I said two not twelve
I stayed at a friend’s house
I txt you
Is not lipstick, I was having a fist fight with a clown
I’m not drunk, but actually, you are a little blurry
Never again mom, never again
Those are not my cigarettes…
I promise is not as expensive as it looks
And so on…

@ubersiren

So you are a male, who was gay at some point?

@bluedoggiant
no,
(from what i’m gathering,) ubersiren is definitely a lady who used to be friends with benefits (or whatever) with a guy, until he realized that he was gay, and came out to ubersiren. she is now married to a different man, but is still friends with her gay friend.

When my kids were little they came inside on a rainy monsoon day. I was in the kitchen but heard them come in the front of the apartment. I hollered hello and told them not to put their muddy feet on the couch. When I walked into the living room their muddy feet were on the couch. I raised my voice asking them why they put their muddy feet on the couch when I told them not to. My oldest told me that they didn’t put there muddy feet on the couch after I told them not to. Their muddy feet were already on the couch when I said that. They just left them there afterward. You gotta love the logic in that one.

@bluedoggiant : No, I’m female. My friend just didn’t realize he was gay until after the makings out.

@ubersiren

Ah i see…makes more sense now. :P