General Question

nebule's avatar

I--i have a strange man on my sofa that won't move.......what do i do???????????????????????????--?

Asked by nebule (16462points) March 13th, 2009

SHITE HELP…

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

75 Answers

syz's avatar

Dial 911. If it’s truly a stranger, walk out of the house and call from a cell phone or a neighbor’s house.

Jeruba's avatar

You serious? A stranger in your house who refuses to leave? Call the police. Grab your son and go. Call from a safe location.

osullivanbr's avatar

Set the sofa on fire?

SpatzieLover's avatar

If this is a joke, HA!

If this is real…do not panic. Walk out and dial 911.

THEN, get a video camera, cuz this is newsworthy!

I wanna see it!

EmpressPixie's avatar

What are you, a Silicoln Valley exec? Call 9–1-1!

Blondesjon's avatar

The question would have been more effective if your whisper had posted properly.

adreamofautumn's avatar

After you get the strange man off you sofa…make sure you report back so we all know how it went down! Also document it if you can (but don’t anger random strange men that are on your sofa…if you don’t think he’ll be fond of the documentation maybe don’t!). But really, call 911 if you need to. When all has returned to normal, change your locks and let us know how it went.

jonsblond's avatar

Isn’t lynn from England? I don’t believe they have 911 there.

Call the coppers!

VS's avatar

how strange is he? and why won’t your sofa move??

Jeruba's avatar

They probably have an emergency call line, but it won’t be 911. That’s why I said call the police.

osullivanbr's avatar

It’s 999. I still think burning down the sofa would be faster.

nebule's avatar

HE’S IN THE TOILET.. NOT A toltal SYTRANGER….UT..STILL

syz's avatar

And you haven’t called the police why….???

osullivanbr's avatar

@lynneblundell Seriously. If you are serious and are worried about this guy, why on Earth are you on here and not on the phone?

jonsblond's avatar

@lynneblundell If he’s in the toilet, leave now!

SeventhSense's avatar

@lynneblundell
Is this the infamous Cleveland Steamer?

bluedoggiant's avatar

holy motherfucking elluben shit

this is legit for youtube comedy. record this now!!!!!!

and tell us EXACTLY WHO THIS CREEPER IS. as in, not his name, but why is he there. Was there a party at your house that finished but he didn’t leave? Or is it…some theif.

Did he notice your presence?

jonsblond's avatar

Sounds like a bad date to me.

chyna's avatar

ok, now I’m nervous about this. @lynneblundell was crafting a response, now she is gone.

osullivanbr's avatar

Should we all call over?

SeventhSense's avatar

@VS
Nice misplaced modifier reference… a much nicer way to point out a grammatical reference in my book. If they can’t get your joke, they’ll never see the typo anyway. :)

Nancy13903's avatar

hmmmm think that might be a troll on your sofa

SeventhSense's avatar

It’s a joke.
No one gets on fluther when they have an emergency in their house. At worst they might I.M a friend. It’s like Ask.com-“I’m being stabbed, what should I do?”

EmpressPixie's avatar

@SeventhSense: Oh, you think that! But see my above Twitter story.

nebule's avatar

he’s gonre!!!
!

EmpressPixie's avatar

Who was he?

SeventhSense's avatar

@lynneblundell
Did you flush him and remember to wash your hands?

bluedoggiant's avatar

Here she types the worthy response we’ve all been waiting for! :P

nebule's avatar

sorry guys…..
just had a bit of a freaky moment there…you know when you see a male frien

SpatzieLover's avatar

The SUSPENSE of it all is killing me! Who was he???

jonsblond's avatar

Do we have ourselves a case of drunk fluthering?

bluedoggiant's avatar

lol @jonsblond

Can we have the whole story?

SeventhSense's avatar

@EmpressPixie
That guy in the video was pretty whacked. Sad story and he obviously needed some kind of help.

EmpressPixie's avatar

@SeventhSense: The guy who broke in probably needed help, but I would argue that the COO needs more. When someone breaks in, you call 9–1-1. You don’t Twitter about it, video it, and ignore everyone’s advice to call 9–1-1.

SeventhSense's avatar

I know right

casheroo's avatar

@EmpressPixie That is so fucking weird. I never heard about that. Who let’s that happen??? I’d be so scared.

I do hope this is a drunken fluthering. I tend to smoke then come on, and then i read my answers the next day.. praying no one notices them. lol

loser's avatar

Poke him with a stick. Is he alive?

KarenBlueiiii's avatar

My sofa doesn’t move either…..if it has a man on it or not!

aprilsimnel's avatar

…and @lynneblundell‘s last comment got cut off. Can richardhenry figure out where she is and contact her or her local constabulary?

augustlan's avatar

Lynne… are you ok? Please let us know!

cookieman's avatar

Oh boy. I hope she’s OK.

augustlan's avatar

Me, too. I’m kinda’ freaking out right now.

Jeruba's avatar

It was cut off, but she did have time to click the Answer button.

cookieman's avatar

@Jeruba: Good point.

I hope this is just a case of drunk Fluthering as Jonsblond said.

aprilsimnel's avatar

@Jeruba – Yes, that’s true. I hope that portends well.

Oh, dear. :/

Jeruba's avatar

I sincerely hope she’s not in trouble, and I’m a bit worried too, but I think the odds are this is being staged for some kind of effect. If you’re really in danger, I don’t think you have time to type that many question marks
???????????????????????????
and that many P’s.
helpPPPPPPPPPP

loser's avatar

This isn’t funny. I’m seriously worried now.

elijah's avatar

Is this for real?

augustlan's avatar

I don’t think it’s like lynne to play a practical joke. Drunken Fluthering maybe… but not a stunt.

SeventhSense's avatar

She said he’s gone..

elijah's avatar

I don’t think she would think letting people worry about her is funny, but I can’t see her taking the time to fluther if a stranger was in the house. I hope it’s drunken fluthering….

adreamofautumn's avatar

I’m likely to say it’s drunken fluthering, but we should pay attention anyways. If she hasn’t returned to Fluther in 24 hours to update us/let us know she’s okay…we can begin really panicking and try and decide if there is anything we can do. I think we should give it time to pan out and see if it’s just drunk fluthering before we go into full-on panic mode though.

bluedoggiant's avatar

wow this is freaky

but if something did happen to her

what would we do

elijah's avatar

Does anyone here know her in real life? Maybe if someone does they could call her.
If someone really was in her house and wanted to hurt her, it’s already done. I hate to say it but we really can’t help.
I’m sure there will be a good answer tomorrow.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I’m back two hours later and no update?! I’m praying she’s okay.

Lynne, I don’t know you, but I’m certain no one on here will be terribly upset if you just pop on and tell us you’re okay. If it was a joke, we can handle it.

What’s the time where she lives???

Jeruba's avatar

I just checked the chat room to see if anybody there knows if she has any real-life friends on here, and a couple of people said they think this is a joke.

After watching the videos about the guy who wandered into someone’s apartment and crashed on his bed, I am wondering.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@SpatzieLover shes in the UK right? 439am

SpatzieLover's avatar

@uberbatman thanks. I think so

ckinyc's avatar

are they dead? 7:16am

nebule's avatar

thanks all for your concern he did go in the end!! just couldn’t get rid!!! bloody men!!!

nebule's avatar

and very sorry for getting you all so worried… i did say up there ^^^^ that he had left. He was a guy that i used to know in the pub i used to drink in… I was coming back from my parents and he was walking past my house so i had invited him in for a coffee (not thinking he would actually come in!) but anyway he did… It was fine until i realised that despite various hints he wasn’t for moving…(and i begun to get a little bit worried and paranoid…) but eventually i just said “look, i need to get to bed so i’m gonna have to kick you out I’m afraid”.... wish i’d said that sooner!!

really really really sorry for getting you all so worried…I wouldn’t dream of playing a joke like that as has been suggested! that certainly wouldn’t be funny… off to hide in a corner now…

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Glad you’re okay, lynne! Gave us a bit of a turn.

nebule's avatar

can’t apologise enough…i really didn’t think people would be that worried… :-( sorry all

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

We’d all be over there to protect you in a heartbeat, if we could.

nebule's avatar

thank you…you’re all very sweet… i do feel rather bad though about causing such a commotion

cookieman's avatar

Well that’s good news. Was afraid you’d end up a headline. Glad everything’s OK.

bluedoggiant's avatar

Well thats good to hear.

elijah's avatar

I’m glad everything is ok :-)

Jeruba's avatar

It’s ok, Lynne, now that you’re all right. You did shout for help, and I think everyone’s programmed to treat that seriously unless they can see the situation and pick up clues that it’s all in fun. In your case—well, it seems to have been something in between.

I’m afraid it’s a mark of the times that we found it so easy to imagine something terrible happening to you on account of an intrusive stranger while you were typing at your computer.

asmonet's avatar

I keep missing all the good threads. Glad you’re okay and all. :)

Dutchess12's avatar

First of all, GIT OFF THE COMPUTER!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Is he still there???

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