Got any cute, fun, or silly phrases I can steal?

Don’t judge me. That’s what I say whenever I do something stupid.

I was on a kick for a while and whenever anyone said “That sucks”, I’d say “Dead rats through a straw” or “Farts out of dead chickens”. But that’s probably not the sort of thing that you were looking for….

That is entirely what I am looking for.

Well, Lord love a duck!!!

Good night nurse!!!

I’m going to whatever if it hairlips the governor!!!

Okey Dokey Daddy Doggy, or, Okey Dokey Artichokey

“Oh Heavens” or “Oh Goodness” is nice as well.

if i’m feling a bit naughty i use “oh my stars and garters”

Sweet Sassy Molassy

You probably know this one, but it’s one of my faves.

I could lurve you all night long for oh my stars and garters…but your wife is here…unless she likes to watch?

;)

@asmonet You are a smelly pirate hooker. ;)

“I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn.”

I dig.

“Aww shit the bed!”, and, “You ain’t just woofin’”

I stole this from the Brits, but I’ve been having fun with “well done you”.

Toda, we’ve been enjoying saying “if it smells like a duck, you should wear it”.

I always say the truth hurts and you laugh at me because I`m different but I laugh at you because you`re all the same!

My mom says quick like a bunny!

And two flicks of a lamb’s tail

My mama tells me, you`re two fries short of a happy meal.

I used to say “Well dip me in dog sh*t and roll me in cookie crumbs” when I saw something unbelieveable.

i prefer to have no one steal from me at all, i love all my things

The three degrees of ugly—ugly, butt-ugly, and hairy butt-ugly.

We say “Hokey Pokey” instead of “Okay”.
Stolen from a print we saw hanging in a public bathroom: “Go ‘way bunny. I’s afraid.”

I just remembered my friend who has practically an entire language that he’s made up. We’re all pretty sick of his jargon by now, but you may find it cute, let’s see.

He calls his car his sleigh
Instead of talk he uses the French parler but totally butchers and Americanizes it and disregards the accent
Instead of using the verb to come he says mosh
And he also uses blood and homie a lot

So a sentence uttered from his lips might sound like this: “So like yeah, I was parlering with some people when my homies called so I moshed downtown in my sleigh.”

I always fancied : Gone like a fart in a windstorm

Cool as a moose. But twice as hairy.

Now you’re cookin’ with gas.

Well, that and twenty-five cents will get you a phone call home.

Hey, what’s shakin’ bacon?

I’m so broke, I don’t have two nickels to rub together.

She is sharp as a beach ball.

or…Dumb as a bag of hammers.

If you’re flying, I’m buying.

He’s so ugly, he could scare a bulldog off a meat wagon.

Slow as a turtle going uphill on a cold day.

Busy as a beaver in a big forest.

That is just all kinds of crazy.

I employ all of these regularly

Courtesy of Uberbatman (I think): That is fucktarded.

I see, said the blind man, how the lame man can dance.

Shit fire and save the matches.

Katie bar the door. I still haven’t recovered from fucktarded.

Dumb as a box of hair.

As sharp as a bag of wet mice.

As subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel full of oatmeal.

Ugly as a mud fence on wash day.

yeah, two of these I stole from Foghorn Leghorn.

Shinin’ like a diamond in a goat’s ass.

You must ain’t know.

You could fuck up an anvil.

You can’t fix stupid.

Julia Roberts just said “nutso!”

Time is money
And I’m funny!

Your heart is my piñata.

Cookin’ lasts, fuckin’ don’t.

We? What, have you got a turd in your pocket?

Cheese and Rice!!
Heavens to Mergatroid!
Nuckin Futs
....said the Porn Queen.
Slicker than Cat S#!T on Linoleum.

Has anyone ever had ants in there pants for real?