What Is One of the Funniest, or Most Embarassing, or Most Memorable Events In Your Life?

Wow, probably when my mom married my dad (obviously, not my birth father, but he later adopted me). It was a week before my 3rd birthday and it was my wedding too. I got to stand with them during the ceremony. I’ll never forget how my dad made a huge deal out of it being my day too, not just their wedding. Even at 3 years old, I never doubted how much he loved me!

I was hanging out by the pool at my friend’s house in the shade. Another friend, we’ll call him “Ken” was floating in the pool on a floaty thing. I told my friend that she should pour her ice water on Ken because it would be funny. She walked over to the other side of the pool and did. Ken flailed for a while then came up, clearly intending to dunk her. Then the bad news started. I don’t know what she said, but there was a hand pointing at me, so I jumped up and ran for the house.

I made it in the sunporch, in the house, down the hall, to a room, and slammed the door. Ken, stronger than me, caught his foot in the door, forced it open, and dragged me down the hall, outside, forced me to throw my book on the floor, and dragged me towards the pool.

I’m smarter than that. I grabbed a post for dear life. He grabbed my stomach and tried to pull me off. Didn’t work. He tried again and reached a bit north. We both kind of jumped apart. He began stammering apologies and stuff and I was like, “That’s okay, fair enough, no harm done.” We both seemed okay, so I was about to make a dash for it when he realized that—in my trying to reassure him I didn’t hate him state, I’d let go of the post. He picked me up in a bridal carry and dumped me in the pool.

And that’s why you should never be understanding when someone accidentally gropes you.

Hmmm, that one day when my first boyfriend and I both wore scarves to school on a not particularly cold day in an attempt to hide our hickeys. Didn’t work very well. Everyone found out.

I know I have some better ones, that was just the first that popped into my head. I’ll have to think about it

I’d taken a school trip to the USSR one spring with about twenty other boys. Brezhnev was in power, and stories about how careful you’d need to be once we’d gotten to East Germany had put us all on edge. We’d been traveling East of the Iron Curtain for about ten days and we were heading home. From there we went to Poland, Belorus, and Moscow. In every place we visited, we had strict schedules, and hotel rooms booked in advance. No schedule deviations or impromptu reservations changes were allowed. In every Russian hotel, there were dezhurnayas (floor ladies) who watched everything and held the keys, and knew where everyone was.

After Moscow, we flew to Leningrad for a couple of days, and started home on the train. By that time, everyone was exhausted. All we wanted was a decent bed and scrambled eggs that had actually been cooked.

East Berlin was the transfer point between East and West. The trains pull in on the Communist side, you go through customs (if they let you out), and then you get back on another train to continue your trip. That train is locked up, and you travel through the rest of East Germany, until you cross the border into West Germany. The connecting trains are somewhat rare.

The train from Leningrad was late, for some reason (typical Soviet efficiency, I suppose). We arrived at the East Berlin around midnight. The communist customs authorities were annoyed to be kept up so late. They took their sweet time about checking our luggage to make sure we weren’t smuggling secret messages out before they let us through. We had very little time to catch our connecting train, and we couldn’t leave until everyone in our party had passed through customs. There wouldn’t be another train until the next day, and we had no place to stay if we missed it.

Finally, we were all through, together with luggage, and we all grabbed our things and rushed to the train platform for our connecting train. The track where our train was supposed to be was empty, of course. I thought to myself, ‘oh well, we’ll get the next one.’ Then I heard the sound of huge sobbing. I turned around to see one of my classmates collapse to the floor, crying. “We’ll never get home. We’re stuck here forever.” I thought to myself that I was so much more prepared, mentally, to deal with this. We’ll just stay at the station, if we need to.

So we slept uncomfortably on hard, cold benches (it was open to the outside), surrounded by our luggage. The next morning, we caught the first train out. It didn’t seem like that big a deal to me, but I’ll never forget it because of the way that boy broke down, like we’d been thrown in jail forever, or something.

@daloon your story definitely beats my story.

It’s not a competition, @aviona.

Funny embarassing AND memorable all in one story…think I can do that…here goes.

I was a smart kid (not bragging, just a fact of life)...I did well in math and science and that type of thing…but I had a much harder time in gym, shop, things like that. I knew that in theory the key to building things was measure twice, cut once, but I swear, I could measure 26 times and cut once and still fuck it up. So 8th grade shop was my biggest fear. At least in gym class if I tried my hardest, put in my best effort and still always ended up the last person to be done withe laps, the one who did the smallest # of situps and who could not do a single pull up, I could get an A, whereas the kids who had no physical limitations could outperform me in every way but could get a C if they were simply putting in the minimum necessary effort. But shop was a different story.

Our teacher was an ex marine, he had a marine physique, a marine haircut and he talked like a cross between Ren from Ren and Stimply and Col Klink on Hogan’s Heroes. He graded based on output, he did not believe in mentoring students…he felt it was his role to give his lecture and the students were expected to take it from there. On the first day of class, he told us, if you have to go to the bathroom, you know where it is, but not only will I not stop or slow down my lecture in any way, I will make sure to test on whatever I was talking about when you were out of the room.

I was sick all of one day in 8th grade, and when I returned, I found that his policy on absences was pretty much the same as his policy on leaving the class to go to the bathroom, he would make SURE to test on the material he went over on the day you were out. Well, I had already made about 3 lousy projects and was not very optimistic about my grade, which considering that in every other class I was sure to get an A or a B, and other than in gym, I didn’t usually have to try or even do the assigned reading to get those grades….sitting through the lectures was usually enough. Well, sure enough, the day I got back, the shop teacher told the class that the next day, we would be having a test, and this test would encompass the following topics…50% of which was adhesives, which he had only talked aobut one day…the day I was absent. I went to all my friends who were in my class to see if anyone had taken notes, and c’mon, this was 8th grade shop, most the boys I knew had this stuff down and thought of shop as an easy A, no one had any friggin’ notes, nor were any of them willing or able to teach my what they’d learned (they probably didn’t even pay attention, knowing enough from just working in their dads’ workshops to ace any test…I hail from a very rural small town where the majority of your males know how to build things…I was always a fish out of water).

So, I went to the teacher, I asked if he had any class notes, any suggested readings, or if he could even tell me what types of adhesives I needed to learn about. No, it was MY responsibility to figure this out, no matter that I’d already tried. So, I did everything I could and failed the test, and now I was petrified of this guy.

So, one day I’m sitting in class, and I don’t know what happened, but towards the beginning of the class, I felt the urge to pee. I KNEW if I got up, I’d get another test thrown at me just to add another F to the pile in a class I was already afraid I wouldn’t pass. So, I tried to ignore it, and I thought “I can hold it”. I kept holding it, but it kept getting worse. I started to shake my legs. The I started to knock my knees together. I was rocking back and forth, I was in horrible pain, and I wasn’t retaining much of what he was saying anyway, but no matter, as long as no one left the room, there probably wouldn’t even BE a test. It was about 4 minutes before the class was over, I was sweating it out, I had just about made it, then my bladder let go. And I couldn’t stop it. The stream was so strong, I could see it rising out of my pants like a fountain. I didn’t just piss my pants, I soaked every square inch of them. And, both of my parents worked in a town 10 miles away, and our home, where my extra clothes were was 4 miles out of town the other direction. Essentially, I had to make the decision to dry myself off the best I could on the old radiators in the school hallway, and tough out the rest of the day.

So, I didn’t have as much as a single date throughout high school, but I fucking passed shop.

Oh goodness. I was an extremely gullible child and am a gullible adult. I do things just for kicks, I rarely turn down a dare, I’m a clown and I try to make people laugh. There are way too many stories to pick from. The people I am closest to don’t even know all of them.
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My most embarassing would probably be in highschool. I played basketball and I had big boobs, still do lol when I would run the guys in the stand would be going boom boom boom everytime my boobs would bounce up. God that messed me up for a while.
My most funniest memory was in 12th grade. It was the last few days of school and My cousin gave me this fart spray that smelled like cow sh*t. LOL I hated my english teacher and i wanted to get her back. I sprayed it and she instantly turned green. Everybody in the class was like THE BATHROOMS ARE OVERFLOWING! LOL her class room was directly accross from the boys bathroom. So she took an old shirt and stuffed under the door while she was making noise i sprayed it again but this time I didn’t look to see which way it was spraying and i sprayed myself in the face. So I had to leave cause I smelled like Cow sh*t LOL!