Why haven't I ever seen a UFO or a ghost?

Because you’re not an attention whore?

Because there’s no such thing?

Because they do not exist.

do you live in a trailer?

are you currently wearing a “wife beater”?

can you read at grade level?

Yes, as a matter fact I have on my favorite egyptian cotton wife beater on and I was reading Gurdjieff, but not in a trailer, but on my roof.

@Garebo 1 of 3 – fail.

glad you think so.

You should beckon the aliens with Reese’s Pieces…

or with an uncut lawn.

Even if you go in with the assumption that both things exist, their occurrence would still be exceedingly rare. It wouldn’t be at all unusual to have never witnessed either event, even if all the people who claim to have done so actually have.

*Disclaimer: I do not believe that either thing exists.

I tend to believe there are invisible pink unicorns living on the moon dictating the development of humanity, but that belief doesn’t mean it is true.

I have many problems with a belief in ghosts, and most of them are from logical questions and a pretty thorough study of ghosts/ghost sightings throughout history. As for UFOs, well, UFOs are simply unidentified objects in the sky, doesn’t mean they are little green men bound to do anal probes on Arkansas hillbillies.

And if those probes are true, then those aliens have no sense of decency and a really high tolerance to foul odor.

@everyone that thinks aliens don’t exist, I think it’s pretty cocky of you to just come right out and say that we’re the only intelligent lifeforms in the entire universe, as for ghosts I don’t blame you.

Removed by me because augustlan made me look ridiculous by editing. The meanie.

Oh, I’m not saying alien life doesn’t exist… I just don’t think they’ve been visiting us.

@asmonet Check back. I edited!

Because you have never been in the right place at the right time? (or perhaps wrong time)

Maybe they don’t like you?

@asmonet Sorry, baby.

It’s all good, pancakes, love?

But of course!

I’m sure that the reason aliens don’t visit here is the vast distances to our little back 40, (we are in the third arm of a spiral galaxy) and with a zillion planets at the center of the Milky Way, why bother coming way out here. Surely not for the scenery. Surely aliens smart enough to master space travel are smart enough to avoid us backwater hicks.

You haven’t been in the right place at the right time yet. Believe me, when aliens decide to abduct you and conduct bizarre yet entertaining medical experiences on you, you’ll never forget it and you won’t have a choice in the matter anyway. E.T. had his way with me last week and it was seriously cool. Now I just have to figure out how to remove the anal probe.

@evelyns_pet_zebra: We all laugh at trailer park residents, why wouldn’t they come to point and stare at us?

Because you dinply haven’t had thr chance yet to see either of them (if they exist, which I don’t know). Imagine everybody would have seen a ghost and an UFO in his life: Newspapers would have to write a lot more about it because it would interest people much more. Up until now, only very few have seen either of both, so don’t get discouraged and keep your eyes open: Eventually you’ll see one!

because it’s BUUULLLLSHIT

Did you ever think that you might be a ghost and all you ever see are other ghosts?

@asmonet because on the grand scale of alien life forms, we aren’t trailer park residents, we are probably more like semi-retarded 3 toed sloths.

It must be all the George Noory and Art Bell shows I listened to.
As for ghosts I do believe. A good friend swears while staying in a 1600’s house in New Hampshire on Thanksgiving, he woke up to dancing ghosts. He said they were these 5 – foot colonist types, dancing around at the foot of his bed.
I know he is not the type to make this up, or delusional, nor, is he the superstitious or paranorma type. Believe it or not-I am sure most won’t!l

@Garebo, as long as he believes it was true, what the rest of us think doesn’t really matter.

Congratulations, you are sane and rational. Ghosts and grey UFOs do not exist. Most things people catch on film are not creatures but their camera strap or lens dust. Advanced technology created by the government is at times true and at times tinfoil hat speculation.

@evelyns_pet_zebra: This might make me a horrible person, but I know I would buy a ticket to see some semi-retarded three toed sloths. Just sayin’.

@asmonet 1 chimp has the strength of 10 men. and we all know about “retarded people strength.” but hollywood, on their high moral horse, won’t make a movie about a retarded chimp.

unless you count vin diesel.

which i do.

@eponymoushipster: Lurve. :D

@dynamicduo don’t make fun of tinfoil hats, mine fits very tightly and goes very well with my silver sneakers. :-)

@evelyns_pet_zebra- Do you mean purple Nikes?