Can you become tolerably good at something you're really bad at?

I wonder the same thing about dancing. My wife would love to dance with me with I’ve never learned how. It doesn’t cone naturally to me. I’m clutzy, uncoordinated, and self-conscious.

Oh absolutely. The one thing that can change as you age is the perspective on why you do something. I find that I’m more consumer oriented now that I’m older, and do a better job communicating my needs to people. I view instructors as there to make me successful. I just started an exercise program, and in working with the trainer, rather than answering his questions, I went in telling him what my objectives are for starting the exercise program, and what I wanted to work on. As a result, we ended up with something different than their normal starter program. As we worked through new things, I would stop, ask lots of questions, and ask for feedback. I’ve had the gym membership and never went for 5 years because the morning and lunchtime people are all size 6 women moaning about how fat they are, and the classes are too aggressive; I can’t keep up.

Classes should not make you feel bad or inept. If they do, take a private class to work through the hurdles. Make the instructor engage in the teaching process by using them to reach your goals. Also, with some age, you have enough experience with your body to be able to analyze why certain movements feel natural or not, and what it could take to make it work better for you. LostinParadise has a good example of how he learned ballroom dancing.

Be clear and specific about what you want to accomplish and break it down into smaller parts.

@Dave.. put some good music on right now, close your door and just let the vibrating molecules have their way with you for a full 15 minutes. Repeat on a regular basis and you’ll learn what works and what doesn’t. Spend some time on youtube looking at the different dance moves relevant to the kind of music your wife likes.

Dancing is a personal art project. You’re missing the point if you’re overly concerned about what others think. It’s about what you think about the music (and the person in front of you.)

Also, you can just learn to support her dancing so that you don’t have to do anything too crazy. Just keep a sincere smile on and you’ll be fine.

sorry off topic.. had to try to help!... uh.. YES to the original question. Just takes time and muscle memory and mental memory of previous attempts to get good. The more memories you have, the better you will get. Not everyone can be AS good as everyone else.. but life would be boring if everyone were the same.

You can become wonderful if you put your mind to it.
@AlfredaPrufrock made some good points, swimming is one of the easier things to pick up, especially when you’re older I think. For exactly the reason she mentions. You’re more aware of your body and can consciously correct things with less trial and error and flopping about like a crazy person. :)

I actually think while there is a natural inclination to specialize as we age, we have more knowledge behind us to aid us in acquiring certain other skills. Mainly physical, we all know kids learn faster than adults. :)

Of course you can, all you have to do is try.
I am pretty bad at keeping a beat, and synchronisation in general. And yet I played drums in a philharmonic orchestra for several years. I even became a professional musician (though I was never good at keeping the rhythm).

Of course there are other things I never managed to grasp. Higher mathematics for example (I’m pretty good in geometry and can do all sorts of sums in my head, but can’t even find square roots with a calculator). Or cooking rice – I can somehow cook anything else, including complicated cake recipes, but not boil rice. But I guess that’s simply because I haven’t tried enough.

That’s a fantastic idea! I never thought of this, but I think that’s a great way to continue to grow as a person. Even if you’re still terrible, it could open all kinds of doors for you. Definitely go for it. I wish you luck. I’m inspired… I think I’m going to try to go to space camp now!

:) yeah, i guess there are many ways to get that “i’m just a kid” feeling again.. thanks for that thought, @ubersiren.

You definitely can! I think it’s especially true with physical things. I was the absolute worst runner when I was in school. The only people slower than me were the kids that were overweight and had asthma. Now I’m pretty much exactly what you’d call tolerably good. I certainly wouldn’t win any actual races, but I do pass a few people on my running route now.

@nikipedia
Bravo. I salute you. Absolutely. We are born to expand exponentially or fall flat on our faces trying. Life is to be lived. You will succeed.

that’s why i keep killing hookers. one day i’ll get it right….

I think it might depend on what a person is trying to get good at. Myself, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid, and I don’t ever see myself becoming reasonably competent at it. I do that that with something physical like swimming you can certainly become great at it, you don’t need a special gift, the the willingness to work hard and practice.

@eponymoushipster, I would say “if at first you don’t succeed…” but honestly maybe you can find another skill you would like to hone.

@pupntaco, I can’t dance a step either.

@SuperMouse perhaps…

I’ll start with the specific question: Swimming is like riding a bike. Most people will never develop the level of skill necessary to compete in the Tour de France or work as a bike messenger, but anyone who isn’t missing a limb or suffering from a neurological disorder can learn to ride a bike. Likewise with swimming. You may not ever be “good” at swimming, but you can still be “good enough”, i.e., good enough to make swimming a part of your exercise regimen, and good enough for basic water safety if you want to take up boating or just enjoy a day at the beach.

Now as to the general question, I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot, because I’m finding it harder to pick up new things as I get older, and some things do seem to require talent and strong motivation if one wants to get beyond the basics. But I try anyway. What have I got to lose?

In On Old Age, Cicero tells us that Cato learned Greek in his old age, and Socrates took up the lyre in his, and Solon claimed to have learned something every day of his life.

Edit: I just looked at your profile photo. For Pete’s sake, are you even old enough to drink? You’re too young to ask such a question! Get in there and learn to swim already!