What are your views on children and food?

From my experience, I found it was easier to feed our son a healthy diet until he grew and he became very sensitive to smell, then it stopped. However, I think if you subject the child to quality foods on a consistant basis the likelyhood he will gravitate to them later in life are greater. It is really hard to prevent a child to being exposed to addictive foods by attractive marketing, friends and school.
My son is a carbo addict at 18, but he does appreciates a lot of good foods.
He is normal body weight and health, I just notice all the simple carbohydrate snacks he enjoys tend to make him more emotionaly unstable.

One would think a schedule in all things would benefit children, long term.

I was a vegan all of my child life and still am. I believe that this would be the most healthy lifestyle

I’m opposed to using children as food.

I’m the anti-schedule mom. We always fed our son on-demand, as you are supposed to do while breastfeeding, and formula feeding. Formula feeding is different though, because you know exactly what they are getting, so you can estimate when they will be hungry easier.
We let my son set the pace on when he wants to eat. He used to wake up and not eat for a couple hours, then he’d want breakfast. Now he wants it as soon as he wakes up from bed, and naptime.
I feed him as much healthy, and natural things as possible..and that is all that we will purchase when we grocery shop.
Of course we allow sweets, because I’m big on sweets. I don’t mind my child having ice cream or candy every once in a while. Especially at his age, it has to be monitored. But, as he gets older, I’ll still monitor it.
My son loves a lot of different foods, he also has favorites..those are our go-to foods, usually something easy like a veggie corn dog, meat balls, peas. Those are all his favorites.
So, overall…my children will eat what we buy and what we make. If they prefer something, I don’t see what the big deal is with buying that at the store. If my son happens to like lasagna, why not make it once a week? You can make it healthy.

I am not a parent. What I have observed, though, is that parents who insist on their child eating what they say, and having perpetual food dramas, have children who have food dramas all their life. My ex’s parents insisted that he eat what was served, whether he liked it or not; if they went to a seafood restaurant, for instance, he was not allowed to order chicken fingers. As a result, as an adult, he will not eat anything outside his comfort zone; it was a trial to get him to go to an Indian restaurant, for instance.

I’d say, let a kid eat what he wants to eat. Eating nothing but peanut butter for a week won’t harm him in the long run, but power struggles over food will set him up for food dramas for the rest of his life.

YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT YOUR CHILDREN!

Oh wait, that’s not what you meant.

Well obviously if you let them eat what they want, they’ll only eat chocolate. So no, they don’t get to pick. You’re the mother, you know what’s best. And if he doesn’t eat it, let him go hungry.

There are two things to consider here though: strictness about food must be consistent with your whole behaviour towards the child. If he knows that by not eating the vegetables he’ll get a hamburger later, then what would you do in his place? Secondly, it’s best to lead by example. I have never managed to do that (as I eat junk food myself), but I have managed to trick my daughter into believing that healthy food tastes good (and pretend to eat with her).

The set times is something they like anyway, as with any routine you can stick to. It’s usually the parents that can’t handle that, kids are good.

And of course, having said all that, loosen up. It’s ok to let them enjoy a biscuit once in a while. Or if they go through their weird phases like “I only eat cheese” for months. It’s actually normal. My daughter fed on yoghurt for almost a year. And would only eat chicken last autumn. Not even chips with that. Chicken. Everyday. Till I grew so sick and tired of it I could not stand the smell anymore. But as long as they eat something other than crisps and ice-cream, they’ll be fine. And mine drinks plenty of milk, which is good too.

Oh and remember that they are about 1/10 of our size, so stop worrying if he’s only eaten 50gr of meat instead of a whole plate. It’s normal. He’ll survive :)

@Jack79 My parents said I would only eat peanut butter sandwiches for the longest time. I turned out fine lol.

I don’t think I’d let my child go hungry, but I don’t want them to waste food. I’m sure there is a happy medium, but I haven’t gotten to that phase of parenting. My son eats pretty much everything. He hates greenbeans though. No big deal to me, since he loves peas, sweet potatos (sweet potato fries are the best fun veggie food IMO) He doesn’t like fruit though, because of the texture. I don’t think that’s a big deal though.

We feed our son at meal times because it’s just easier and less time consuming to feed everyone at once. However, if he says “Hungweee!” we’ll give him a banana or something. We try to eat mostly healthy as a family because it just makes sense, but he certainly gets his share of cookies. He gets a cookie every night after dinner. Sometimes after lunch. We don’t forbid much.

I saw this question and was like, do whuuuuuut?

Um, I don’t have kids, but I think that they need guidance for sure. A two year old doesn’t have the mental capacity to decide what he should or shouldn’t eat. He’s going to choose ice cream over broccoli, that’s just a given. I’m also confused by people who start giving their kids things like sodas and candy at a young age. If they’re not exposed to it, they don’t know it exists, therefore they can’t want it. And it’s likely they won’t have a taste for it when they’re older (I’m drawing on my own experiences because we had very little in the way of sweets in our house growing up and basically nobody in my family cares for them).

On a side note complaint as a waitress… Don’t wait until your server gets to the table to take your order to ask your little one what he wants to eat. I do not have time to stand there while you name off everything on the menu only for him say no to each item and then choose french fries.

Oh, and parents, what the heck is up with kids and chicken fingers? Seriously?

lol @essieness I don’t know!! My son loves chicken fingers, it’s just an easy and fun to eat food for them. And they can dip it in honey mustard..dipping is always fun for kids.
I don’t agree with you on the sweets thing. My parents let us have all the fruit roll ups, soda, sweet cereals…that we wanted. My husband grew up with NO sweets in his house, and he was a fiend for sweets at his friends houses, and when he moved out. I’ve had to completely change his eating habits. I think when you’re exposed to it, it’s not so I dunno, “taboo”, so it doesn’t seem as desirable. That’s how it was for me.

@casheroo You do have a point.

My kids would eat at mealtimes with us, but if they were hungry between meals they got fruit, veggies, yogurt, whatever for snacks. Of course there was the occassional fruit snack or cookie thrown in. They would get dessert if they ate most their dinner, I never forced them to eat everything on their plates but they had to have at least three bites of everything.
I have a rule of what I make for dinner is what you’re eating for dinner. No special menu. My aunts kids would only eat noodles and chicken nuggets and she would cater to them every meal. It was rediculous.

@elijahsuicide I like what you said about they eat what you cook. I’ve known people who make several different meals just to please everyone. I always thought the parents were supposed to be running the show, not the kids… Kudos to you!

A word of caution, my aunt let one of my cousins eat nothing but bread, milk and cheese as a teenager for a while. She ended up having part of her lower intestines removed, from what I hear.

My aunt? Is a nurse practitioner. She should have known better.

Don’t let your kids eat whatever they want.
Or peanut butter for a week.

I was a real hippie for my generation. I did good when they were little, but admittedly, I got lazy as they grew up. My theory was that they got everything they needed from breast milk and I would know they were ready for solids when they could put it in their mouths. They nursed for a year and ate a few soft finger foods ( bananas Cheerios etc.) before they were a year. Unfortunately, my husband at the time didn’t share my zeal for healthy kid food and I gave up the battle. They became as big a junk food junkies as anybody else.

I’ve heard that when kids are being weaned, one of the first foods that parents give them is mashed fruit. (It’s soft, it’s nutritious, and they’ll eat it.) On the other hand, this primes their sweet tooth for life, and if you try to give them vegetables later (less sweet), their reaction is usually something like, “Eww, vegetables!”

The alternative is to give mashed vegetables as a weaning food, and let fruit come later after they eat veggies without complaint. From what I’ve heard, this can improve their dietary choices later in life because they don’t automatically default to “sweet is best.”

This could also be utter bunk.

I didn’t even give it to them until they could pick it up and put it in their mouths. No mashing here!

You can’t make children eat any more than you can make them go to the bathroom. These are things that they control. You can fight about it, but it seems to me to be a losing battle. Instead, I would have them offered delicious foods at mealtimes (like for the adults) and if they really want something else, I wouldn’t make a big deal about it—but just would make it. Most of all, I would avoid conflicts over food, because it is one of those areas that can blow up hugely later—and we have lots of problems in our society with food issues. Help them learn what they like and want to eat, and never make them finish their plate if they are full. Listening to the body is what they need to learn.

@skfinkel We also have lots of spoiled brats running around because parents want to be friends and not parents. Little Billy doesn’t like chicken, or veggies, or baked potatoes so he can have PB&J and some chips.
I agree you shouldn’t force the kids to eat, but if they’re hungry they will eat what is served. A seperate meal is out of the question in my home. This isn’t a restaurant.

you go mama @elijahsuicide !

@laureth- Back in the stone age, when I was a new father, my daughter was eating solid food in her first week (rice cereal), and as a result was sleeping through the night. We then started her on vegetables and later went to fruit. Because of this (well, I think this is why) she would eat everything. By the time daughter number two came along we were told by the doctor to give her fruit first, as it is much easier to digest than veggies.
Sixteen and a half years later, when daughter #3 was born we were told not to give her fruit until she was six months old, and definitely veggies had to come later.
Anyway, both younger daughters are pickier with food than our first. I believe giving the fruit before the vegetables is the reason why.

when they are hungry, they will eat, when they are not they won’t. Keep good things in the house and they will eat good things.

One rule we try to enforce is if someone else puts something your plate you aren’t familiar with, you need to at least try it. You won’t ever know if you like it or not unless you do. We recommend two bites, in case you are in a bad mood the first time (or forgot to throw away your gum). The exception, of course, is if it is something you know you are allergic to or would make you barf right there on your plate. Then you need to come up with a really good and acceptable excuse.

Another is if you put it on your plate you need to eat all of it. If you don’t think you’ll like it either don’t put it on your plate or only take a small amount. You can always get seconds.

A third is never eat food that is all the same color in any one meal. While my son is deeply opposed to eating vegetables he is perfectly willing to eat red food (ie. tomato sauce), so he can get by with one of his favorite meals of spaghetti, one meatball, and marinara sauce. However, it means he has to add something that isn’t tan to his other favorite meal, chicken nuggets and fries. Orange juice or grapes will generally suffice.

And last but not least, you should eat until you aren’t hungry, not necessarily until you are full. I was taught to eat until full, and to eat everything on my plate no matter who put it there. As a result I have had to painfully and laboriously retrain myself so I won’t be the subject of a reality show on enormous people.

My parents and my husband’s parents experienced the Great Depression, when you ate what was served and cleaned your plate because otherwise you would go hungry. As a result we have had to battle that mindset instilled in us since babyhood since we grew up during the post-war age of plenty. Unfortunately, the battle against obesity is a difficult one that never ends, and we don’t always seem to be winning.

@elijahsuicide : I understand the feeling of not wanting to provide food like a restaurant. And it would be nice if everyone liked what I made each night. But we made a decision, or perhaps I did—as the cook—that we wanted to have conversations about interesting things at our dinner table, about school, questions about ethics, politics, things that were going on in everyone’s lives, and the easiest way for that to happen was simply to not worry too much about the food. For me to cook up a batch of spaghetti (ie boil some water and throw the noodles in) was simple enough, and if that’s what people wanted, I didn’t really care—and I was happy to do it. As a result, we did not have to discuss eating anything in particular, I didn’t worry if someone finished their whole meal or not, and it didn’t bother me to throw away a bit of food.

After stories of my husband burying a single pea in a pile of potatoes, since he also was required to taste everything, I decided I would avoid that particular rule as well.

The result was good conversations, happy times, and no food issues.

@skfinkel We also have good conversations, happy times, and no food issues. We just do it over the same meal.
If one of my kids absolutely hates something (my daughter hates spinach, my son hates brussle sprouts) I don’t force them to eat a mound of it. They can substitute with some tomatoes or carrot sticks, but they still eat everything else I prepared for that meal. There are very few things my kids won’t eat, and I tribute that to the fact that I had them experience many different foods from a very young age. It takes multiple exposures to a food before you can decide if you like it our not.
All I’m saying is that I won’t make a completely seperate meal. I don’t mind an occassional substitution once in a while.

It seems as i suspected that views are quite reasonable and lean towards a healthy balanced diet! someone had a go at me last night for saying that i hadn’t got the energy to force my child to eat his tea for once… (it was sweet and sour prok with broccoli – which he does like incidentally ) what i meant was i knew he wasn’t that hungry but could really do with some food…but if he didn’t eat it then he wouldn’t get any treats as such… so i was either going to have to force him to eat it…(telling him…“you will eat your tea otherwise no ice-cream”... for half an hour) or let it go for once… He didn’t eat his tea but had apples later…(one and half) The fact is as you know I’m a single mum – it was mother’s day here yesterday in the UK and I just wanted a little bit of a break…

This person retorted “so you FORCE your child to eat food often then do you?” All sorts of images cam conjuring up in my mind about me shoving huge engorging spoonfuls of food into child; strapped down on floor… Now…we all know that this is not what i meant… But the comment made me feel really way off the mark in terms of food and making my child eat… so just wanted your opinions….thank you anywayx

@elijahsuicide and @skfinkel ; I married my current husband when my kids were 5,6. and 9. I will never forget the surprised look on their face the first time my husband said, “I don’t like that.” They never even knew that it was possible to refuse an offered meal and get something different until then! We had been so broke (I hate the word poor) That they had spent their life thankful for dinner. The idea of choice at the dinner table was completely foreign.

Well, if i were to have children, i wouldn’t feed them all these sweets and soda’s and nasty things. I would limit the amounts of those items in their diet as much as possible. Many don’t have an idea what long term harm can be done by all the preservatives, colourants and whatever else you find in junk foods. This is important, i think.

@Judi: I remember asking my mother why we never are some foods—I don’t even remember what they were—and being told that we never ate them because my father didn’t like them. Other times, she’d put out something like a side dish of mushrooms (to go with steak or roast beef), or pineapples (for glazed ham), that she’d prepared on the side because they were foods my father didn’t like.

When I was younger, I was expected to try everything, but if there was something I really didn’t like, I wasn’t required to eat it. (Although I was strongly encouraged to try it again periodically, because tastes change.)

The main thing to avoid is food dramas. Eating peanut butter sandwiches every day for a week because that’s all he wants to eat won’t kill a toddler, but fighting a war over food because he wants to eat peanut butter sandwiches and you want him to eat vegetables will set him up for all sorts of food dramas later.

Ok…I’m not sure I get this whole food drama thing… if i let my son eat peanut butter sandwiched for a week won’t there be food dramas anyway when i try to get him to normal stuff again at the end of the week? I mean it’s obviously not good for them and whilst one could do it for a week without any harm..I’m not sure any longer wouldn’t…

Of course you could say that the child will most likely stop eating peanut butter sandwiches when he is ready and that that is likely to be within a week… but I’m not convinced this is a sound argument. If i let my child eats sweets and crisps for every meal he would do… (if i didn’t provide him with anything else) but he still wants sweets, biscuits and crisps over anythign else and will ask for these first. If i gave him these for a week I’m not entirely sure he would stop eating them on his own. Isn’t this why we have so much obesity in the UK and the US? Too much liberal thinking…

A child does not know what is best for them, and whilst I’m ALL for giving them as much liberty as possible… I also want them to live as long as possible…

So 1) Are children really going to stop eating junk after say one week and choose to eat healthy stuff?
2) What sort of food dramas exactly does it cause making your child eat a balanced diet?

What about the “food Drama” when you are in the doctors office and your kid is diagnosed with diabetes because he refuses to eat anything but pizza, ice cream and mac and cheese? I think food boundaries are easier to set at a younger age than waiting until they have major health issues and trying to put a 10 year old on a diet. (IMHO)

That’s why children have parents, to make the right decisions when they aren’t capable. A parent provides healthy food. If the kid is hungry, he eats it.
I think a lot of the “drama” is the child manipulating the parent.

yes exactly… i won’t be manipulated by my son. He knows that if he doesn’t eat his main course…(and granted he doesn’t have to eat ALL of it but most) then he doesn’t get dessert…but this; as i said before was considered “forcing” him to eat and therefore “wrong”.... grrrr. Some people just go to the extremes

@lynneblundell: the food drama thing winds up with an adult who won’t eat anything new or anything outside his comfort zone. I lived with one of them for several years. His parents insisted on him eating what they thought was healthy food, and it gave him food dramas and food issues like you would not believe.

No seafood of any sort. No broccoli. No Indian food. No Chinese food. No Mexican food. No Vietnamese food. No sushi, no way, no how, not ever. And snide remarks whenever I wanted any of these things. All directly traceable to his parents being “responsible” and forcing him to eat seafood and broccoli.

And it’s not saving him from diabetes, either.

hmmm… but you know (and I hear what you’re saying and I can appreciate that this didn’t work for your aforementioned friend) I was forced to eat everything that was put in front of me as a child… even the vegetables i didn’t like…but I did grow to like them and understand that they are good for you and you do need to eat them…so now i live on my own I do eat my veggies and fruit and all the stuff that’s bad for you too… trying to moderate it!

However, I do eat too much due to being forced to finish what was on my plate (which i don’t condone now,...) and still at 28 find it hard to leave food… so I understand that this is a form of food drama…I’m overweight for goodness sake….! But to not eat any of that stuff you mentioned above…that seems like a more serious flaw of character than just because his mum and dad forced him to eat everything… or at least could do with some counselling on the issue…

so… should i let my kid eat sweets, biscuits and chicken for the rest of his childhood…if that all he wants? I think not.

@cwilbur I think some people just end up being picky.
I have an ex that hated practically everything, and he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted when he was a kid. He had never even seen an avacado, asparagus, or a fresh piece of fish!
@lynneblundell I think you’re son is lucky to have a great mom like you!

@elijahsuicide thank you so much – I needed to hear that this morning…much lurve xxx

I think it’s amusing when people say that when kids get hungry enough they will eat. You’d be surprised how stubborn the little brats can be.

When I was two I wanted cheese, dairy, and junk all the time. Didn’t want a veggie to save my life – I suppose I was going through a phase. My mom got sick of it, cleared out the fridge and stocked it full of raw vegetables all the way to the top.

I went two and a half days without eating a thing. She tried to feed me, but I wasn’t having it.

Then she found me camped out at 2AM munching on carrots like it was my last meal.

Eventually, it’ll work.

Just thought I’d share, I always remember that when people bring the topic up.