There seems to be a general assumption that being homosexual is a choice people make, if so, is that also true for being heterosexual?

Well there goes that whole theory of choice, huh? (not that i believed it anyway….)

I don’t know who this “general” assumption applies to, but it sure as hell doesn’t apply to me.

I think this is directed at those who are socially conservative, because I by no means apply this to anyone.

I don’t think it’s a general assumption. If it is someone’s assumption, though, I would think that this person would believe we’re born heterosexual (because it’s natural or whatever), and we could only choose to be different, not the same.

@Les

maybe this is a regional thing for me, but I hear it frequently. That homosexuals ‘chose that lifestyle’ I find that logic offensive, myself

The question of whether sexuality is a choice versus programmed into us has not yet been resolved.

OH LAISY!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

@dynamicduo I guess that globally, or even nationally, this hasn’t been decided yet, but rationally? Whether or not the science is conclusive yet, the only rational conclusion is that your sexuality is both involuntary and voluntary. To say that everybody chooses to be gay is incredibly ignorant, but to say that it is absolutely never a lifestyle choice is just as untrue. I’d say the most of the time it’s not a choice at all, but sometimes it can be (especially when you are bisexual but choose to identify as one of the other).

If homosexuals do choose their sexual orientation, then I suppose heterosexuals must do the same. However, there isn’t any evidence I have come across that says what gender you find sexually attractive is a matter of choice.

Like @lazydaisy I don’t remember “choosing” to be heterosexual. I do remember knowing that boys were interesting to me in a different way than girls at a very early age (about age 4 or 5).

@trumi, I agree with your point of view. I believe it is a portion of both. I also do not believe there are only a few orientations, I believe sexuality is a full gradient between “likes only men” and “likes only women” and where we stand is somewhere in that gradient.

@DutchCat Oh D!! What now?! Did she steal your Q too?

I’ve been using that argument since I was like, oh…I dunno, 8 years old! Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. But it kind of occurred to me that hey, I’m more of a breast man than a leg man or an ass man, but how did that happen. I’m more partial to brunettes than blondes….how did that happen. And for that matter, women appeal to me, men do not…how did that happen. I don’t recall filling out a questionairre saying, what would you LIKE to turn you on. Just one day I was looking at something and, boom, there it was…arousal, just kind of happened. And it’s not as if I could then take a look at something that DID nothing for me and decide I wanted THAT to arouse me instead. So why the hell would anyone think that the same wouldn’t apply to anyone? I didn’t choose to be attracted to the opposite sex, so why would anyone assume it’s a choice. And I discovered that the answer is that people are afraid of things they don’t understand, so they ascribe motives to it that don’t exist to make themselves feel more normal. In other words, it’s only people whose minds are too narrow to accept that no everyone is wired the same way THEY are who have this assumption, and fortunately, I no longer thing that is “most people”, though 20 years ago, I would have agreed with you.

I completely disagree with the premise of your question. Scientific research has shown clearly that gay men are born gay. The research is not as advanced for women, but I do not think most people assume sexual orientation is a choice.

As with most everyone else, I’m mostly here to say it isn’t a choice at all.

You know what happens when you assume? You make an ass out of u. I certainly don’t assume, or even accept that gay people consciously choose to be that way any more than you chose to be straight.

@Mamradpivo

I do hope that I didn’t give the impression that this was my assumption, only that I hear it often. My point in this is that of course people don’t choose.

Sexual preference is built into our genetic structure, it is not a choice that we make consciously.

@Marina Out of curiosity…..why in the world would the scientific research as to whether one is born gay not be as advanced for women as for men?

@DutchCat – I’m not Marina, but I do know something about this. Dan Savage has mentioned it on his show before. In general, women have a radical different outlook about all relationships then men do. This extends to sexuality. A woman’s sexuality is more likely to “fluctuate” than a man’s is – women identify as bisexual more than men do. Oh, look at this! I googled to find some info and I found this book snippet (from Bisexuality in the United States By Paula C. Rust). I believe this contributes heavily towards your question.

@dynamicduo Interesting! Women, IMO, seem to have more complicated ideals of relationships anyway. Well, we’re right of course! But, you know…...

:)

@DutchCat and duo, science historically has been bias. it has tended to run tests on men and then try to apply that to everyone.

also science takes place in a cultural context (our context in the US tends to be anti-gay). male homosexuality is under more scrutiny than female sexuality because it is perceived as threat to “manly-ness” and therefore is thought of as a threat to patriarchy. so often science has tried to show that gay men are “deviants” (i.e. they are acting against “nature”) so that “real men” don’t lose power in a patriarchal society. female sexuality is not seen as a threat because “who cares about women anyways” and “its hott” (those of course are not my view, but rather larger cultural statements).

to answer the main question, even if it was a choice (which it might or might not be), why don’t people have the right to CHOSE it? isn’t the united states about freedom? ...freedom of choice as long as it is not harming another (glb sexuality are not harming anyone)

People love to call things they don’t like “choices” so they may look down on the “chooser”.

PS: sexuality is biology is genetic. Unless you can manipulate your DNA, your sex is chosen for you by it.

@catinthehat I know, but haven’t you heard that rational before?

One of my oldest friends prefers to say that the only choice he made was to quit living a lie.