Morality depends on your moral system. Sure, a lot of people would consider what you’re doing immoral. But a lot people think that porn is immoral, too. Porn is sex for money. Prostitution is sex for money. Sugar Daddy is sex for money.
The only difference with a sugar daddy is that it’s one person, and you are playing him. What are your intentions in the end? Do you think he thinks you guys are going to be together? Does he have a wife? Kids?
He’s not interested in you, except as a pleasant diversion. He’s willing to pay a lot of money to keep you available to him. He’s probably not asking you to be exclusive or to give up any relationships. He just wants a beautiful, young, nubile woman who will suck his cock, and maybe, with the help of viagra, get it up enough to stick it in you. It makes him feel powerful to be able to afford his nooky on the side.
If you are being immoral, so is he. But I have to wonder where your idea of immorality comes from. It’s a little Johnny come lately, it seems to me.
I seriously doubt that you are leading him on. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. I seriously doubt he expects you to do a Pretty Woman on him. Or for him. Whores might get saved by their prince in shining armor in the movies, but the real world usually isn’t like that.
You all are playing a fantasy game. You both pretend you like each other—after all, emotion really helps make the sale, doesn’t it? I mean, when you do porn, you have to actually feel hot and horny if you are going to sell it to the viewer. Granted, a lot of viewers don’t give a shit, but for some, they want to believe the women really are that gung ho for sex, and that maybe some day, they’ll get to make it with a porn actress. That’s what your sugar daddy is doing.
If your friends are worried about the age difference, then maybe they don’t know about your past career. You may be trying to pretend for them that you are a good girl. I’m not saying you’re not good—I don’t know you. But we all know that most of society disapproves of sex for hire.
You’re 18. Maybe you did porn when you were younger, making the lie to porn, when it claims no one is under the age of 18. If you’ve been doing the sex trade at this age, it probably means you’ve had a particularly hard life. Certainly your parents, if they are even together, don’t have the money for your college. Am I right? I don’t know. I just like to guess.
Can you go straight? I think you want to because a part of you disrespects yourself for what you’ve been doing. That’s why you’ve asked this question.
I would support you whatever way you want to go. If you want to keep your sugar daddy, I assure you, there’s no wool over his eyes. He knows what he’s doing. If you want to try to regain your self-respect, I think that’s wonderful. However, I don’t think you need to think poorly of yourself for what you’ve been doing to make a living. Exploitation can be a two-way street.
What do you want to do? What will make you feel safest and best about yourself, while keeping your head above water, financially? Some women choose the hard road, and cut off the sex trade, and try to make it in a straight job. It isn’t easy, but it can be done. If you want to keep your sugar daddy—I mean, if you want to, not because you have to, then I’m not going to say you’re immoral for doing so. Then again, I would never want my daughter to be in your position. I hope she always knows she can come to us for help when she needs it. The door will always be open.