When does a deraogatory term turn into a term of endearment?

Usually from overuse, but I think there is always a bit of contempt lurking there. I do not.

Yea, contempt is definitely there. That and deep-rooted ignorance/ stupidity.

Also, if it’s used by another person who could be called the same derogatory term. Like girls calling other girls their “bitches.” Still dumb, I think.

@Marina how does overuse lead to the transformation? slave owner’s rampant use of the n word did not make it into a term of endearment. It only became a term of endearment once the degraded group tried to recapture the word and use it amongst themselves.

Probably when the receiver accepts the term and puts up with it offering no resistance to being called it.

@inano that makes no sense. Just because the group that the slur is being used towards puts up with it does not make it a term of endearment. Slaves put up with the slave master’s use of the n word, and that did not make it a term of endearment. You may argue that there was internal resistance, but such extended and comprehensive degradation can lead to internalizing it, leading to no resistance. Even in such cases, it was absolutely not a term of endearment, but meant to be just as derogatory as if there was resistance.

@aviona I HATE that with a passion. It’s so degrading.

@inano I wonder why that happens

a term of endearment is a word or the act of expressing affection…so the receiver has to take it as such…otherwise is no endearment

More importantly, the person who says it has to intend to express affection. This is the first step necessary and that is never the case when a derogatory word is used. Therefore, it is rather irrelevant how a person takes it.

It depends on the people. It’s an agreement. Both the person calling the person the term and the person being called the term have to agree on the motive. They have to agree that it’s being used as a term of endearment. Anything can be a term of endearment. There are not terms that are “always offensive” no matter what. It depends on the individual person.

@facade just what you said before ignorance or stupidity, timidity…dependance…passivity…ect

Does calling your friends “whore” (well, specifically “HOR”) count?

A have a friend whose girlfriend calls him her mulatto.

@Dansedescygnes Why make it a positive word though?

@getoffmylawn yes.

@MrMeltedCrayon I didn’t know that was derogatory

@Facade

Why not make it a positive word? Why preserve a word’s offensiveness? That only preserves the power the word has. By not allowing a word to not be offensive, you’re giving people power to offend you with it. Why would you want to do that?

I used to tutor ESL students in high school and there was this girl Susana who they called Flaca, but it was cute, it was a term of endearment you could say. No one besides the teacher called her Susana. But can you imagine calling someone that as a name in English. “Hey, Skinny, come here!”

@Dansedescygnes Certain words are offensive to me regardless

@Facade

Yes, but they’re not offensive to everyone. And if two people agree that a derogatory term doesn’t offend them, then I don’t care if they want to call each other that. For me, it’s the motive behind saying the word that matters to me, not just the word itself. When the motive is to degrade, then obviously that’s a bad thing. Yes, there are some words that are used to degrade more often than not, but if people are using it for a different purpose, then more power to them in my opinion.

@aviona I’ve never been called skinny lol. Fat, yes. Skinny, no.

@Dansedescygnes Different strokes for different folks!

I think it depends on the person saying it. If I say the n-word to a black person, it sure won’t be taken as endearing. Someone else could say it and it is.

@Likeradar yea. i don’t think it’s right for anyone to use (along with other words).