How can a couple get communication going?

I’m seeing a ton of questions on fluther that indicate difficulty in communication between the two partners. I know from studies and my own experience that most troubles boil down to communicatio. In my case, therapy helped. I always viewed therapy as a sign that I had failed, but it did help, if only because it provided a safe place for us to be honest.

I know I was afraid to be honest. I was not getting sex or closeness, or even affection from the relationship. We were more like a corporation than a marriage. I thought if I asked for what I wanted, I’d be divorced.

If communication is the problem in most cases, and if people in the couple are afraid to talk because they are afraid of how the person will respond—either defensively, or with a “get lost,” and if therapy is not an option because one member won’t go, or the couple can’t afford it; what can they do? How can they learn to communicate with each other? How can they say the honest things they are afraid to say? Any ideas?