What's the best way to deal with someone who is suffering from chronic pain?

Where does she live? There are doctors and clinics that specialize in pain management.

Yep, I am in constant pain, and it’s no picnic. Gail is right about checking out the pain control doctors in your area,but even they can only do so much. Just love her and be patient. People in pain can be pretty cranky, as you probably know. I’m sorry for both of you.

You might want to spend time with her doing things that she enjoys that help to distract her from the pain, like share a book together, or watch a movie.

Allow her to try to do what she can so she doesn’t feel like she is being treated like a cripple, but tell her what you are willing to do let her know you are willing to help, and do those things whenever you and she agree on it.

Good luck to you both. It takes a very special person with a lot of love to help someone with long time pain, and I respect you much for your concern.

@gailcalled that’s the plan. Soon she’ll be driving weekly (3 hours) to a pain clinic in Toronto. Right now she is doing physio and taking pain meds. She is still dealing with the insurance company (they’re not making things easy either. It’s been two years since her accident). What scares me is the amount of meds that she is taking and because of all this she is suffering from depression. Just wish that I could help her out.

I’m in pain every day, all day. Speaking from my point of view, I don’t know anything that you could do. Maybe ask her what she wants you to do. If she says “nothing,” she probably means it. It’s good to keep her company though.

acupuncture or acupressure may help her. Swimming is also very good for pain. Good luck. I hope this helps.

@jmah: Three hours each way? That is a lot of driving for someone who hurts. Can she get a caregiver (or family member or you) to accompagny her and be her advocate? By physio, I assume you mean what we in the lower 48 call physical therapy. There are some interesting new electrical devices.

“Is there any treatment?
Medications, acupuncture, local electrical stimulation, and brain stimulation, as well as surgery, are some treatments for chronic pain. Some physicians use placebos, which in some cases has resulted in a lessening or elimination of pain. Psychotherapy, relaxation and medication therapies, biofeedback, and behavior modification may also be employed to treat chronic pain.

What is the prognosis?
Many people with chronic pain can be helped if they understand all the causes of pain and the many and varied steps that can be taken to undo what chronic pain has done. Scientists believe that advances in neuroscience will lead to more and better treatments for chronic pain in the years to come.”

It may be worth trying a hypnotherapist.

Listen. Be there. Don’t try to offer solutions or answers, unless that’s what she’s looking for. Chronic pain is one of the most life-altering conditions one can suffer with, and the treatments are normally mood altering and act as depressants.

I have a similar situation.
You have to be patient and understanding and be able to blow off an angry outburst from time to time.

My husband has chronic pain. He can get irritable at times and that takes a lot of patience. I have to remind myself that the anger anfrusrtation he express is not directed at me even though it sure feels like it at times. Also, have to know when to not let that person use their pain as an excuse to not actively and positively engage in life.
But more than anything, you both need a good sense of humor and a good sense of self.

I’ve had chronic pain for about 13 years… debilitating for quite some time, until the right combination of meds came along. Patience and love are about the only things you can offer, along with help in household chores if you are able and willing. Good luck to both of you.

I have chronic pain too. I really appreciate noticing when something doesn’t hurt, even if it’s just an elbow or an ear lobe. There are days when even my hair hurts.

Does she have good days and bad days? If so, is there anything she’d like to do on good days that will help offset some of the worse times?

@gailcalled I live an hour away from her. I have offered to drive down and help her out with my 6 year old niece and she loves that idea. When it comes time for her to go to the pain clinic, I’ll do some of the driving. Her hubby is going to help out, as well. Like Ausgustlan had said, she needs the right combination of pain meds. What she has now doesn’t seem to be working from her. She needs to see a pain specialist for that for sure.

I’ll do whatever I can do to help her. Thanks, everyone.

@jmah: You are giving her the perfect gift. The pain clinic will have a team of doctors and therapists with non-medical modalities and all the latest techno-tricks. Plus, she will feel more secure surrounded with people who deal with nothing but chronic pain. Having a 6 yr old is tough, but at least s/he goes to school (and the bathroom) by himself.

I have tried for chronic lower back pain; ** indicates what worked

Osteopath
Chiropractic
Acupuncture
Acupressure
Massage therapy
Hypnotheraphy
**Back school, lumbar support in all chairs and in car, hard mattress, side-sleeping, pillow between my knees.
**Psychotherapy
**Physical therapy
**Attitude
**Meds.

I have a routine now; some meds (amitriptaline for sleep), a daily session on the heating pad, followed by yoga stretches and some light weight-bearing exercises, 30 minutes on treadmill, and dealing with emotional stress. I’ll start to walk outside daily if winter ever goes away.

Good luck to you all.