Is it better to love or to be loved?

I believe both to be equally valuable. To have reciprocating love is amazing, though if you love someone, or someone loves you without it being returned, it really stings. The most important thing is that you can love and acknowledge love.

Yes

@Blondesjon That doesn’t answer the question at all…

Maybe you missed the ‘or’?

I make a constant effort to see the value of both sides of most everything, but in this case, I lean distinctly towards “to love”.

I have learned more (generally speaking) from loving other people than from being loved. I think the intensity of caring about another person is naturally so consuming that you can’t ignore the lessons that accompany the feeling, even if they are painful to learn. When others love you, though – while it has meaning to them, you may not be able to feel or experience that purpose, so it seems that would inspire less growth.

That said, I could probably argue this the other way around :)

@Loofa That’s on the money imo.

In keeping a healthy relationship, reciprocity is just as important (if not more than communication.

@lindelizery That seems very reminiscent of a parent’s relationship with their children. Once the child gets older, the love from the parent may seem unappreciated by the parent. But if they receive love from the child, it’s umm… good.

That’s a terrific answer, too.

@Boots @Blondesjon That’s the point? His answer is “both.”

@lindelizery

You make a solid point. When you give love you get to feel it. At the same time, you may miss love that someone else is giving. Hopefully, if you give enough love, you will receive enough back to be satisfied.

@boots…Oh no. I understood the question just fine. :)

@trumi @Blondesjon Ah… Ok! :)

@boots…The only problem with love is the way folks always try to quantify it.

@Blondesjon I’m not trying to do that. I’m seeking personal preference, not numbers.

@boots…You are asking which is better. This is often the problem with love. Love doesn’t have a scale.

I kind of know what blondesjon means.

“Yes” ...because you would want both and they are better together. It’s like saying there really is no ‘or’, here… why separate them (as you did) when it’s useless to have only one or the other?

Except to answer the question I just asked… because it is interesting to consider their respective significance in our lives and see the “value” of each to different people, and for what reasons. Which is why I like this question, and I don’t quite feel that you are quantifying love :)

Loving makes you lovable.

@lindelizery @Blondesjon Unrequited love may be ‘useless’ to the recipient, but to the giver, it’s quite real…

Other than that… ( forgot what I was going to say when I got a severe case of Deja Vu.)

@Jeruba Not always…

@boots – I say “useless” in the sense that an entire life is lived with only one kind of love (which I cannot imagine happening).

Not necessarily to the person you love, @boots. I didn’t say that.

A person who doesn’t love at all is very hard to love. I would say impossible.

@Jeruba Then what did you mean, exactly?

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

It’s better to love, because the love in return will follow in suit.

Giving love opens your heart and makes you vulnerable, teaches you to put the good of another before your own, and tends to bring out the best in you. Those qualities are attractive and appealing; they touch something in others. I am speaking of love generally and not just of romantic love, since your question did not limit the meaning. A bitter old man who loves a little child, a lonely woman who loves a pet, a hardened street kid who loves a buddy—these are all instances where you can see the heart of a person, and that has the potential to draw others to them.

By contrast, a person who displays his need and his hunger and, worse, his demands for love tends to drive people away.

Could you be loved? I say it’s 50/50

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQlOLARxC_A

I think you are asking whether it is better to own a cat or a dog.

Depends on the kind of “love” you are talking about- in the physical sense I get pleasure from giving innocent kisses and cuddles, and from receiving naughty nice things (lol).

In the more spiritual sense I believe that for you to truly receive “love” from someone you must be giving so that the relationship is balanced. Inequity in love is paradoxical.

Some lesser imitator of “love” in my opinion, if both people in the relationship are in love with the same person.

@Ivan HA! That’s far too fitting.

Since you own dogs, I can guess your response.

@Holden223 I meant love as in extreme romantic feelings toward one individual.

Then I “would rather”/prefer the former.

“Extreme romantic feelings” from a neurological stand-point mimic the effects of addictive drugs, dopamine and serotonin levels fluctuate greatly which thus leads to illogical behavior, however altruistic these behaviors might be.

As a person who sees the utility of power and the relative stability in can bring to life, I don’t find much comfort in engaging in activities that cloud my logic and make me act unlike “myself”.

Being on the other end of this equation more suits my personality: as I love pleasure. I love to share pleasures and give pleasures ( not necessarily “love” but sweet memories and notable moments). Seeing my suitors jump thru hoops and the like is not only personally flattering but it also gives me impetus to return the affection and theatrics and thus embark on a long journey of good times.

Once the good times come to an end (IF they ever do), you move on with your sweet moments and notable memories.

You must love in order to be loved. I say love.

Not much point in receiving it, since I almost never believe it. So I prefer to give.

You need both.

It sucks to be in love with someone who isnt in love with you.

I have only given love, so I am not qualified to answer. However, I have just recently gotten to the point where I love myself; so hopefully I will experience the receiving end one of these days.

I do feel like you need both as well.
I’m not sure though if i favor loving or being loved more !<3

I love giving love, but it fucking sucks when it’s not returned or unrequited. And it feels pretty damn amazing to be loved back.

@daloon I used to have that same issue…I’m getting better at it. We need to talk more, man. I feel like every post I go: @daloon: ditto.

@aviona: Welcome to my life! It’s like @daloon takes the words right out of my mouth (if that’s possible on the internet…)

Maybe he’s God…in disguise…on Fluther….....:P

Any god that had the problems I have could hardly be called a god. On the other hand, things might make a hell of a lot more sense (so to speak) if the gods were crazy. Who wrote that book, “The Gods Must Be Crazy?”

Seriously, it just goes to show that our experiences are not unique. Which is nice, because it means, that even with the shit we have, we aren’t alone.”

I was going to try to rationalize that one usually leads to the other… but, I rather enjoy @Ivan ‘s response. haha.

It’s a better thing to love than be loved though, I think. It’s much harder to do and it takes more out of you, it can be selfless, it does the other person, “the lovee” good, and it in turns makes you a better person as well.

It is better to love. :)