What do you think of wedding showers?

A wedding shower? What? My thoughts are exactly the same as yours about this. I don’t believe it is rude to not attend this shower if you intend on going to the actual wedding.

Unfortunately, it is a somewhat “girly” thing. Us girls don’t like it either! My friend is getting married and he’s the groom. I was still invited to the bridal shower. I’m sorry but I’m not interested in ohhhhhing and ahhhhing over every dish towel or piece of dinnerware they get. It truly is an over the top way to milk gifts out of your guests! By the time the wedding comes, your guests hate you because you cost them a couple hundred dollars! What’s the matter with making things simple and easy?

@dynamicduo I’m glad I’m not the only one who is a little baffled by this. I had to google ‘wedding shower’ just to make sure the term actually existed. It does, but searching for it on wikipedia redirects you to bridal shower. The invitation didn’t explicitly state it, but it invited me to ‘celebrate the upcoming nuptuals’. I’m going to be there to celebrate the actual wedding, so why do I also have to be there to celebrate the fact that there is going to be a wedding? I can now send in my negative RSVP with peace of mind. 8—)

I’ve heard of having a couple’s shower where guys get the groom tools and such and women get the bride tools for the kitchen, etc.

I don’t think it’s rude to not go. Is there a theme or does the invitation list where they are registered? Because maybe it is just a way to celebrate with friends before the wedding without gifts???

@miasmom There is no theme that I am aware of, and the invitation lists where they are registered. So much for the celebrating without gifts. I don’t care if they are starving artists, they’ll get their gift from me at the wedding!!

Since it lists where they are registered, I would say it is a shower and you should feel free not to attend. :)

I’ve been to quite a few bridal showers, and they ranged from dull to lots of fun. I think the relationship you have with the bride-to-be determines whether or not the shower is an enjoyable event.

As for a wedding shower, is that like a Jack and Jill thing? Maybe the bride and groom just want to include all of their friends and think it will be more fun than a plain old bridal shower. I’ve noticed that a lot of baby showers are starting to inlude the men as well.

Maybe the tradition of gifts varies from place to place, but in my experience the shower is for actual gifts from the registry while a wedding gift usually consists of money. That’s not always the case, of course. If the bride and groom don’t already live together, they will most likely get a lot of use out of the gifts from the registry. My husband and I have been married for over ten years and still use the tableware we registered for.

The best part of a bridal (or wedding) shower is the potential to embarass the couple in front of older relatives. There’s nothing like a blushing bride holding up wedding night attire for her Granny to admire. Also, think of the groom in this case. He might have been forced into the shower, is dreading it, and could use some manly backup.

All invitations can be declined. If you don’t want to attend, decline politely.
As far as wedding showers or bridal showers go, the idea from the past was to help the woman get ready to build her household. Often she would be given things for her trusseau (e.g., clothing, towels, and other soft goods).
Today, with people marrying later, having thier own places (either together or separately) there is not such a need for household goods and/or for a woman to “collect” gifts of lingerie, etc. But this tradition continues, like it or not.
I can see wanting to share the events leading up to the wedding with your fiance and I think there are more “wedding” showers than bridal showers happening.
Some families (and brides) find it hard to break from long-standing cultural activities. Maybe this is something their families think needs to happen and they are not the driving force.
Either way, you can decline if you don’t want to attend.

I think all weddings should be held indoors so knowone will get wet.

Are you sure it isn’t an engagement party or something along those lines? I have been invited to many of those over the last few years but most of my friends haven’t done bridal showers as well.

The words Wedding Shower strike me as being a bridal shower for both bride and groom which I think is positive, one party to congratulate the couple and gift them before the actual wedding day. Endless parties, engagement, bridal, bachelor, bachelorette… wears people down and creates tension for those with tight schedules and budgets.

As a bride-to-be, I find the whole gifting party upon party upon party idea to be an open door for certain types of people to be self-centered and greedy. I loathe the idea, and it’s one of the many things I firmly put my foot down on – it’s surprising to me how many people insist on the party regalia. There will be a wedding ceremony, and two small, backyard receptions in each of our countries. We signed up for a small registry of about 10 items under $50 each for the doggedly persistent (oh, grandma…).

That being said, wedding or bridal showers can be an opportunity for separate family and friends to meet and get to know one another, which I can totally understand. However, it is in no way rude to decline the invitation. Sometimes there are multiple parties so that everyone and their varying schedules can attend at least one if they wish. I think it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to attend every one, let alone bring gifts.

I hate weddings and I hate all the stupid parties involved before hand to shake all our friends and family down. That said, @Amoebic has done an excellent job planning both my wedding and her own, and I am grateful. :)

Still… the wedding industry is only slightly more insidious and evil than the birthing industry. The funeral industry is 10x worst than either of those, but only weddings encourage multiple wankfests of consumerist bullshit leading up to the wedding day. Engagement parties, engagement photos, bridal shower, wedding shower, his and hers bachelor(ette) parties, rehersal dinners, wedding, and multiple receptions are now the standard, right? Ugh.

If you don’t want to go, don’t go. I think they’re bullshit. I’ve met resistance at every turn regarding all of the pre-wedding crap, but people were pushing SO HARD to have a bridal shower from both families that I caved and we’re having a bridal shower for the women and a bachelor party for the men AND THAT’S IT. I said acceptable gifts were chocolate and bath soaps so that those on tight budgets have an out.