Have you ever had to tell someone you loved that you couldn't be with them, and they can't get over them?

No but it was said to me. I’m not lost without the person but I did think I’d be with them for the rest of my life.

Yes, and it’s also been said to me. That’s a really hard thing. But from what I’ve heard (even though it’s a crappy process) time heals all wounds. Good luck with that, I totally understand the position you are in and it blows. :/

I got lost in the pronouns. Do you mean, “Have you ever had to tell someone you loved that you couldn’t be with him (her) and he (she) can’t get over you”?

No, but it was said to me. It sucks. No other way around it.

or you can’t get over them…...........I’m as lost as gail. A little clarification please

No, but i’m in that position as the can’t get over it because i’m lost without her position. It’s the hardest position to be in. The pain dulls slowly, but i’m not sure it’ll ever go away.

I dated someone long distance for two years, and we broke up not because I didn’t love him, but because the distance was too taxing on us. I still love him, but I think he’s moved on, and it’s still a little painful for me.

@TitsMcGhee my story exactly. It hurts like hell.

yes and I forgot her name, its been a while

Yes, I loved her more than anything and I had so many conflicting feelings in my heart. I knew she would stay and we could probably still be together but there were too many questions about our compatability and unfulfilled life experiences that I wanted to have. I couldn’t justify leaving her on any grounds other that I wasn’t sure if there wasn’t something else that I needed to do. Ultimately it was an extremely difficult act. I didn’t shirk from my feelings and hide behind anger or a manufactured fight. I really felt that it was the most fair thing I could do for her and that she deserved a man who was completely certain. When I broke up with her it felt like I was amputating my own arm or leaving a crying puppy out in the middle of the woods but I knew I had to do it. I still love her and always will.

I had that happen to me several months ago, and it sucks. I think what sucks most about it is, I wasn’t able to get to the bottom of WHY, so I could better process it and have closure. I still think about him everyday, but I’m moving on… some days a little quicker than others.

@chicadelplaya: I’ve totally been there, and I wish you the best!

@TitsMcGhee – Thanks darlin’. We all break a heart or two at some point, and others break ours as well. We all don’t mean to do it, it’s just how life comes and goes…bitter and sweet.

@chicadelplaya: You said it, sista. I gotta go drown in chocolate now, haha.

@TitsMcGhee -hey look! we both have 888’s right now! THAT’S SOME GOOD LUCK! :o)
xo

@chicadelplaya: It was meant to be. :D I’ll lurve you and you lurve me and we’ll both be at 893!

@TitsMcGhee- with all that lurve in the 893, we don’t need no stinking boys! ;o)
Muah!

@chicadelplaya: Added to my fluther :) (Although our lurve is now inconsistent…) Ah well! Stupid boys!

I had it happen to me not to long ago, and it crushed me so very badly. I still fail to understand it all.

You could try getting them really angry at you so they hate you.
But I think its better to just tell them the truth. They will get over you. It may take a lot of time, but they will. The best thing for you to do is dissappear from their life completely. If you care about them, care enough to give them no pain…disappear.

i meant to say “have you ever had to tell someone you loved that you couldn’t be with them, and they can’t get over you?”
sorry!
you people are making me sad. gosh. :(

You see, he meant ‘have you ever had to tell someone you loved that you couldn’t be with them, and they can’t get over you?’ and the discussion shifted towards something more touching and beautiful.

I love Fluther.

And yes, I came to read the questions and the answers because it happened to me, and I am still emotionally unstable. Deeply unstable.

Yes I have had to do that, but I dont know for sure if I really loved them. It was a new relationship really quick after the other we thought we were in love got engaged and everything really quick. Then one day a couple mths later it was like someone flipped a switch and I no longer felt any love for this person. It was really weird for me and very hard for him. He fell in love with me hard and is still holding out hope. I wish I knew what happened and why my feelings so suddenly changed but I dont. I feel very sorry for him but I just cant be with someone I dont love.

There was once a statement made regarding attraction.
It goes like this:
Before six months in the relationship love abounds and it seems that one cannot live on without the other?
After six months or later the facade falls away and one begins to see the other in truth,not what each had built up in their own minds.
If the relationship endures after seven months and longer , then it signals that each has accepted and recognised flaws in the other , but love the other even more.

They recognise that they are humans with flaws tollerable to each other and willing to take the time to support each other and grow a mature love. lasting realationship.