What college did you want to go to above all others?

I always wanted to go to U C Santa Barbara.

@Yarnlady

UCSB is really nice. I got in there too and I’m pretty sure that’s where my other sister will be going.

I got into my two top choice schools – Parsons School of Design and NYU. I chose Parsons in the end because I could do a dual degree program in which I get a BA and BFA at the same time, rather than at NYU where I would get just a BFA.

I wanted to go to Berkeley since 3 of my better high school friends were going and it would take them out of the city from me. For what I wanted to do, it would have been an un necessary expenditure (I became a jewelry designer).

Okay, seriously, go to Stanford. Unless you want to have to explain yourself to everyone you meet for the rest of your life (and they will be asking for a valid reason—it’s just a better school).

@mirifique

It’s not just about that for me, though. I love LA and I kind of want to go to school there. I live pretty close to Stanford. I also don’t know anyone who goes to Stanford whereas I have several friends who are freshmen in college at UCLA and I know of at least one of my close friends will be going to UCLA.

@Dansedescygnes: for what you want to major in (if you know) which school has the stronger market penetration of their graduates? Where do you place as a student now (percentile) in your class? If you’re a top less-than-5% performer, choose the school with the best reputation for your future field; friends will understand.

@VzzBzz

That’s the thing, I don’t really know what I want to major in. I know I want some kind of linguistics degree, but that may be a double major or a minor. In my class I place in the Top 10%; I’m not sure beyond that, that was as high as it went.

Stanford and Harvard…and I made it way back in the days…but I am glad I decided to go to Iowa State as I made a lot of good decisions and wouldn’t want my life to change…

My dream was to attend Parsons school of design, or NYU, never happened…
If I ever have kids, I want them to have the chance to go wherever they want to go (I will push Parsons or NYU, also UNC) I know, I must be filthy rich to afford those options, that’s why I’m breaking my back at work :)

Assuming you can make new friends and drive a few hours to visit your old ones, simply put, working hard at Stanford will take you farther in life than working hard at UCLA.

NYU

<Long, shuddering sigh> Wellesley.

Congratulations, @Dansedecygnes! You are lucky to have such wonderful choices.

Berkeley. You have to choose Berkeley.

@mirifique

Well, UCLA is still a very good school. I was really lucky to get into all four of those. Going to UCLA is not something I view as a bad thing or “lesser” and to put it honestly, I’m probably going there.

@everyone

Stop pressuring me!!!

@flameboi: You can come hang out with me at Parsons any day.

@Dansedescygnes: My brother is a Stanford alum. He loved it there. The campus is ridiculously beautiful, the programs are beyond stellar, and the reputation that comes with the name is unmatchable. College is about branching out, so even though you don’t know anyone there, I would say it would be worth it to start new. I came to college not knowing anyone, and I’m having the time of my life. I can visit my old friends when I go home, but going to college on my own really gave me the chance to expand my horizons. I know people from my high school who went to college with a large group of friends, and they haven’t really met that many more people. I’m not trying to pressure you, I’m just pointing some things out.

@TitsMcGhee

Well, not to sound arrogant, but I’m pretty good at meeting new people. I’m very extroverted and relatively outgoing. I can become friends with just about anyone. And I still haven’t made any final decisions…we’ll see what I do…

@Jeruba

Thanks!!! :)

clown

@Dansedescygnes: I wasn’t saying that you weren’t; it’s just that when you have a large group of people you already know, that necessity to meet new people doesn’t arise, and some people might be intimidated by the fact that your group is already so close, and they feel that they might not fit into that pre-existing dynamic. Basically what I was saying was don’t make your decision based on where other people you know are going. Look at the school, the opportunities offered there, and the education you will be receiving above all other things.

@TitsMcGhee

I like them both the same, basically, though. They both have everything I want. Therefore, I have to look at other things like location, where people are going, etc.

Everybody seems to be assuming money isn’t an issue. Well, it isn’t. Y’all were right. :P

I wanted to go to Notre Dame and play football, like that movie where that hobbit did the same thing , it be awesome

@Dansedescygnes: My advice would be to visit both schools (avoiding being with people you know) and see where you feel more at home with the atmosphere. Figure out which place you can visualize yourself in, regardless of who you know there.

@TitsMcGhee

I’ve been to both schools several times. I could picture myself at both equally. This decision is more difficult than you think…

@Dansedescygnes: I made a nearly identical decision when I decided on where I was going to go, and I had a plenty difficult time deciding, but I did. If you were so set on UCLA from the beginning, why ask the question? Did you just want to tell us where you got into school? If so, congrats, but don’t ask for advice and then balk and throw rebuttals at the answers.

First it was Wesleyan University in Middlebury, Connecticut. I applied early admission and didn’t get in.

Then it was Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts (last spring, I got in, but then decided not to go for various reasons).

And now I have my heart set on Eugene Lang College the New School for Liberal Arts in Greenwich Village, NYC (Lang for short).

I’m from California, but have always set my sights on going back east to school.

@TitsMcGhee

I don’t understand how I’m balking and throwing rebuttals. And frankly, if you’re going to act like this, I’d prefer you don’t speak to me. You’re being rude and assumptive. I didn’t say I was so set on UCLA. Just because you’re so associated with Stanford doesn’t mean you have to impose the goddamn place on me. I am not you. You don’t know how ridiculously upsetting it was to find out I got into Stanford. Part of me really didn’t want to get in there so the choice would’ve been more obvious.

@everyone

Also, look at the linguistics rankings: http://www.stat.tamu.edu/~jnewton/nrc_rankings/area7.html

UCLA and Stanford are very close.

@Dansedescygnes WOW those are all really amazing schools. You must be one well rounded fella. The only school I can really speak for is Berkley (my Dad went there and I’ve been to a few concerts at the Greek :D). It’s a great school and the campus is beautiful. Berkeley is an amazing city and of course it’s super close to SF.

@aviona

Thanks. :)

And I live in SF, so that may be a little too close… :P

:) I juuuuust like at your profile and realized that

I wanted to go to Reed College, in Portland, OR. That’s the only one I really, really wanted to go to.

@lillycoyote I know someone who goes to Reed.

Hey @TitsMcGhee Parson’s and Lang are like…siblings!

@aviona What year are they in? Are they liking it?

@Dansedescygnes: I wasn’t rude until you were. I was giving my opinion, which you asked for, and I made it a point to say I wasn’t trying to pressure you into anything. I wasn’t trying to “impose” anything onto you. You asked the question, I answered honestly and to the best of my ability, using my experiences with the schools in question and the college admissions and decision process to inform my answer. I answered because you asked, as did everyone else; no one meant to pressure you.

@aviona: I actually also go to Lang for psychology. I’m in a dual degree program with New School University, so I attend both for five years and come out with a BA and a BFA. If you have any questions about the school or living in the city, let me know for sure!

@TitsMcGhee

Apparently me telling you the choice is FIFTY-FIFTY and that I could picture myself at both and that they both have what I want and that it’s a difficult choice is “rude” and a“rebuttal”. How is that a rebuttal? How is that rude? That makes no sense at all. And I regret asking this question because I’m now 70% more pressured than I was when I first found out I got into Stanford. I mean, you guys are basically making fun of me because “why, there’s no decision to make! It’s obvious, obvious, obvious!”.

Well, it isn’t that obvious, clearly, or I wouldn’t have asked this question.

@Dansedescygnes : Dude, your profile says “I will be attending UCLA next year.”

WTFFFFF?

@La_chica_gomela

That was before I got into Stanford.

@La_chica_gomela: LOL4RL.

@lillycoyote: She’s a 2nd year and she applied early and got in. It was her dream school also. I don’t talk to her much, but I think she’s happy with it.

@TitsMcGhee: When I went there for my tour/interview I heard about that 5 year option! It sounds awesome. Good for you! I will definitely contact you if I have any questions. :) Thanks.

@dans: Clearly if you were sure enough that you were going to UCLA to write it on your profile before you had even HEARD BACK from Stanford, the choice is NOT fifty-fifty, like you claim.

It seems to me that you’re pretty set on where you’re going, because every time someone says something in favor of Stanford, you feel pressured. Go to UCLA then. Problem solved.

I agree with McGhee.

Psst, @Dansedescygnes, settle down a little there. No one here has the capability of pressuring you to do anything. We’re just a bunch of little words on your screen. You are lucky to have a smorgasbord of opinions to think about, but ultimately it’s up to you. Your reaction here is pretty telling, so maybe you should follow your heart to UCLA.

@La_chica_gomela @TitsMcGhee

Leave me alone. You two have been no help at all. I have Stanford Alumni (2) I know and UCLA attendees (10 or so) that I can talk to in real life. Like I said, I regret asking this question. It was a waste of time.

I’m sick of you two thinking you can tell me what my choice is. If it wasn’t 50/50, I wouldn’t claim it was 50/50.

You need to go to the best college for you. And that depends on what the purpose of college is for you. Are you going there to actually get an Education with a “big” E or do you want to make connections, do you want whatever college looks best on your resume, do you want a college that will best prepare you for a job in your chosen field or will best prepare you for graduate school in your chosen field? There are a lot of questions only you can answer before you decide on what college is the best choice for you. That’s the only thing that matters, what is the best choice for you given your circumstance, your temperment and your goals.

@Dansedescygnes:

“Well, not to sound arrogant, but I’m pretty good at meeting new people. I’m very extroverted and relatively outgoing. I can become friends with just about anyone.…”

Hate to break it to you—You are arrogant!

@La_chica_gomela

You’re a troll. Get lost.

She’s actually a respected long-time member of this community. As is TitsMcGhee.

@Jeruba

Well, she’s not getting any respect from me. She hasn’t shown me any.

<shakes head> Leaving. Not following. On your own, pal.

@Dansedescygnes: It’s so ironic that you think you “can become friend with just about anyone”!
ROFL

@La_chica_gomela: I prefer to call her Tits, not McGhee :P

@aviona, usually i do too, but it rhymed!

@Jeruba: You hit the nail on the head.

@Dansedescygnes: I’ve done something wrong in suggesting Stanford, I’ve done something wrong in suggesting UCLA. Alrighty then. You’re definitely overreacting. Neither of us are trolls, as neither of us were posting anything purposefully controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages, which is the definition of a troll.

@La_chica_gomela ahhh crafty, I didn’t even notice that ;)

@everyone WTF is a troll?

@TitsMcGhee

So La chica singling out comments I made and making fun of them was not inflammatory, irrelevant, or off-topic?

And I didn’t say you were wrong. You accuse me of rebutting by claiming that the choice was 50/50, which I don’t understand and you have still failed to explain to me. La chica accused me of lying about how I viewed the choice. What do you expect my reaction to be?

Also, this is a repeat question, in a sense. Other responses here.

[mod says:] No personal attacks please. Thanks.

@Allie

Can you please delete this question? I feel like I’m going to cry. I made a huge mistake.

@Dansedescygnes Your best bet is to stop following it.

@Dansedescygnes I know exactly how you feel

@aviona

No, I seriously feel like I’m going to cry, like my face is shaking and there are tears welling up in my eyes…dear God, why do I have to be so damn sensitive?

I hate this…I can’t post a good question for shit.

@aviona: I think your question had a little more chance to be controversial than this one. Incidentally, with those views, you will fit in at Lang wonderfully! There are vegetarian and vegan options in our cafeteria and there are a huge number of people who are also vegetarian and vegan.

@Dansedescygnes: Don’t cry. You have a good future ahead of you. You’ll be going to a great school regardless of the one you choose. This is just the internet.

@Dansedescygnes What’s gotten into you my friend? I adore you, you know, but I don’t quite understand what has gotten your wild hairs up here on this one. Did I miss something? Your friend, Lilly.

@lillycoyote

I don’t know either, frankly. I guess the response I got was just completely different from what I thought I was going to get. Believe me, when I posted this, I was not picturing this at all.

@TitsMcGhee

And I know.

@Dansedescygnes: What were you picturing this to turn out like? Maybe that will help you in your decision.

@TitsMcGhee Good to know!

& @Dansedescygnes remember it is just the internet I felt like I was going to cry/die of shame and embarrassment, too. It’ll pass and everyone will stop following the thread in a couple of days and forget about it. So shhh. Calm yourself.

@TitsMcGhee

I was picturing people to answer the actual question, for one, and then I was picturing other people to tell me the pros/cons of UCLA and Stanford. Instead what I got was some of that, but also people implying that the choice was obvious, that Stanford was just better, and accusing me of lying about how close the choice was for me. I posted this same question on another site about UCLA vs. Stanford and most of the responses were just people essentially laughing at me for even thinking it was a choice. I guess that’s not really what I wanted.

@aviona

:) Thanks.

@Dansedescygnes I also never really had your problem. As I said, there was only one school I wanted to go to and that was Reed, and I did everything I could to make sure I ended up there including manipulating the situation so as to convince my parents to let me go to school so far away. Luckily I got into the only college I really wanted to go to so I didn’t have to agonize over my choices. Maybe I should have agonized more but I didn’t.

@lillycoyote wait so you did go to Reed? Did you graduate?

Additionally, this question really showed me how this site is cliquey and I don’t like that. La Chica was singling out posts of mine and making fun of them and her answers get marked “great answer”. Is this some kind of joke? It wasn’t just the college thing, this site showed me the bad side of this site and I don’t like it.

@Dansedescygnes: I certainly answered the actual question in my first quip, and I gave some pros for Stanford. If I had any experience with UCLA, I would’ve given that too. I also don’t think anyone accused you of lying anywhere, people just responded to what they garnered from your question and subsequent quips. People have that perception about Stanford because of its reputation, which may or may not be something you want to factor into your decision. But like I said before, this is just the internet, no one can make the decision for you, and most of these people won’t know where you went, nor will it impact their lives. You asked for opinions, which were given. Take them as just that, and let that influence your decision as little or as much as you want. No one is laughing at you for any reason. The people of fluther just answer questions as they come and are, 99% of the time, honest, wonderful people who want nothing more than to help you and hear stories of your successes. Don’t be so quick to react sometimes; consider where the response came from.

I used to work graveyard on 17th and Holgate. If I got off before the Tri-Met was going I would sleep in the golf course across from Reed.

@aviona Yes, I did go to Reed. And did graduate, just barely. I confess I was not one of their best and brightest. :) But I did manage to get through.

@TitsMcGhee

Well, I think you were quick to react too, to be honest. I said nothing but “the choice is difficult” and I get accused of rebutting all the answers. You somehow felt I was being rude to you, even though I wasn’t. And La Chica did say “the choice is obviously NOT 50/50.” to me. That’s accusing me of lying.

@Dansedescygnes :: Chill out. Nobody is attacking you.

@Dansedescygnes: We’re also not trying to be cliquey; flutherites defend their own. Both @La_chica_gomela and I have been around here for awhile, and people know we aren’t trolls. You are reading way too much into this. The balking I was talking about wasn’t even to my own quip, it was this:

”@everyone

Stop pressuring me!!!”

And she wasn’t accusing you of lying, she was giving an opinion.

[mod says:] Okay, I think that’s enough of “he said”, “she said.” Let’s keep the future quips on topic please. Thank you.

@TitsMcGhee

That “stop pressuring me!!!” was meant as humor. When else would I use three exclamation points?

And maybe I am reading too much, but seeing her rude comments to me get voted “great answer” did not send me a good message about this site.

@lillycoyote :: well good for you! I guess I was assuming this whole discussion was based around colleges we wished we could go to or dreamed of going to, but never actually did or hadn’t yet.

@aviona: That was also what I assumed based on the question as it appeared on my feed…

Dude, you should totally go to Stamford…
...but the guys at UCLA are way hotter!

@Dansedescygnes I think you should post a new thread asking for people’s opinions between the two. Maybe people who either have looked at both or transferred. Or UCLA/Stanford grads who can put in their 2 cents…

@aviona

At this point, I’d rather die.

@Dansedescygnes :: psh, don’t be so dramatic. If you don’t feel like doing it now, I understand. Just a suggestion. Wait for it to blow over and ask in a couple days. Just an idea.

& my next question is are we making any kind of history for the longest Fluther thread here?

Ahem I repeat, [mod says:] Let’s keep the future quips on topic please. Take the other conversation to PMs. Thank you.

@aviona I was very lucky that everything came together for me. I am, let’s just say, “of a certain age, ” and all my decisions and choices about going to college were made a long time ago. But, in the context of the question, yes, there was one college I wanted to go to above all others and I was lucky that I was able to do that.

@aviona Not even close

@aviona

Yeah, I might, though I’m kind of afraid of the reaction now. Also, this whole cliquey thing is intimidating, but I became prominent on two sites similar to this one before this one, it’s only a matter of time…

@aviona and @breedmitch: Even THAT is not even close!

[mod says:] PnL: ”Let’s keep the future quips on topic please. Thank you.” That means from this post forward (and there is no one crafting a response) there should be ON TOPIC posts.

Napier, Scotland. It looked good in the brochures. I ended up in Coventry instead, but I don’t regret it.

The college of Hard Knocks. I was admitted with a Rogue Scholarship.

@Dansedescygnes: You never mentioned whether money was an issue. You can get a superior education at the CA universities and spend half. Stanford and Berkeley have the same panache in certain circles, but lots of people don’t give a flying fig.

@Jeruba: I went to Wellesley and regretted being with only women. I did not have a happy four years. The campus was beautiful but I spent most of my free time at that school in Cambridge. (And both of my husbands were Harvard, class of ‘57…not a good vintage.)

@gailcalled

Yeah, money’s not an issue for me. To put it bluntly, my parents are loaded.

@Dansedescygnes: You might get further if you admit that what you’re looking for here is not advice on choosing which college to go to, but validation in your decision to go to UCLA. You might not get it, but at least you’d be honest, and you wouldn’t feel compelled to attack people who are giving you seriously good advice based on the question you actually asked.

UC Davis, always. My attendance in high scool was poor and my grades awful so I went to a Jr. College, got sidetracked and married.

Stanford
:D

I wanted to go to UC San Diego or University of Miami or University of British Columbia. I was accepted at UCSD and UM, but not at UBC (it was during the Vietnam war and they had enough Americans already in Canada). I ended up at Miami because my parents moved to South America and it was much closer to where they were.

For graduate school I wanted to go to Harvard but didn’t get in. I ended up at University of Florida.

My brother went to Princeton and once I visited him there I realized that it would have been a much better school for me than UM, but that was 20–20 hindsight.

BTW, my mother was accepted at Stanford and Rice and turned them both down because the atmosphere on campus was wrong for her, and because there were too many nerds. She ended up at University of Colorado at Boulder.

Both Stanford and UCLA are highly ranked schools (their PhD programs in Linguistics are ranked 2 and 3 nationally), but, to be honest, it doesn’t matter quite so much which you go to for your undergraduate work. Your choice for a graduate school will be more important to your future career.

If money is no object the fact that Stanford is a private school and thus more expensive won’t matter. For me, a real negative is that Stanford is located in Palo Alto, which is not my favorite city. OTOH, UCLA is located in LA, also not my favorite city. I greatly prefer Santa Barbara or San Diego, although I grew up in Berkeley.

Whichever you choose make the most of it. Keep on getting those good grades and you will be able to pick and choose which graduate school you go to.

@hungryhungryhortence Yay! I go to UCD. Go Ags! =]

@cwilbur

No, that’s not what I’m looking for at all, if you have any kind of reading comprehension skills and paid any kind of attention to what I said, you would’ve known that. But of course, no, you only listen to what your fellow “previous members” of this site said, you read what you want to read, you hear what you want to hear. If you have nothing of value to contribute, kindly get out. Stop trying to rekindle an argument that already happened.

Your opinion is not wanted and not appreciated.

@Dansedescygnes : cwilbur is also an extremely intelligent and mature member of this community. If that is your reaction, maybe you should reconsider all of your choices and aim lower…perhaps a local community college. I would be honored to have cwilbur be one of my professors.

And if you don’t want his opinion, own up to it and don’t use the passive voice.

@gailcalled

I don’t care what his “qualifications” are. He is falsely accusing me of having a different motive in posting this question and he is trying to start up an argument that’s already been finished. I have no tolerance for that at all.

Is it an option to flag quips as ignoring three requests from mods? Or to flag them as whiny?

@TitsMcGhee

And which comments might you be talking about?

And can we all please just let this go? Those of you answering the question, Darwin, hungryhungryhortence, thanks for the answers.

@Darwin

:) Good answer. (I voted it “Bad Answer”, but you get the idea). I still haven’t made any kind of final decision. I actually do have two friends going to Stanford and right now it’s an even toss-up between the two schools since they really do both have what I want. I’ll have to come to a decision sooner or later!

I told my friend Jay it was between Stanford and UCLA and he’s like “when you get into Stanford, you go to Stanford” but then he went on to say how he could see how similar they were for me and how location could be a factor. He doesn’t like Palo Alto for some reason. I love Palo Alto, though, so that won’t be a problem for me.

@TitsMcGhee: I think that falls under the “Something Else” option.

psssssssst… Stanford

ppppffffftttt…not Stanfurd

Although I went to Florida Bible College, my first choice was Nebraska, because I was a Cornhusker fan and wanted to play football, however I was drafted into the military before I could goto college.