Would this be considered mooching?
I am running low on funds for the time being so I’ve had to cut back on some stuff. It’s not a lot and I am still able to go to school, but I have been cutting back on certain recreational activities. I tell people this and then either plan to go back to school instead of staying out and playing more cards or seeing a movie or I plan on eating in my room instead of going out to eat. My boyfriend has been paying for a lot of stuff for me lately because of this. He asks me to stay for another magic draft and I tell him I have no more money and he wants me to stay so he pays, and often afterward we go out to eat, even though I can’t afford it and he pays for me there too. Is this mooching? I do enjoy doing these activities with him but I feel as if he is paying for me too much.
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No it’s not mooching. If you tell him you can’t afford it and he chooses to pay for you then it’s fine. He is your boyfriend, and he wants to help you. I don’t see a problem with it.
It turns into a problem if you go out knowing full well you won’t be able to pay, but it sounds like you don’t do that.
I don’t think this would be considered mooching, because he’s volunteering to pay for the things that he wants you to continue doing. To me, mooching is when the person takes without asking or presumes sharing is OK without contributing anything back, and I don’t think this is the case here, because you have explicitly told him your situation, and it is completely his choice to offer to cover your tab.
I’m an old fuddy duddy but in my day I paid for everything on a date. I was proud that my soon to be future wife didn’t mind being seen in public with me.
I pay for everything. Always.
I believe that it would be mooching if you were saying these things just SO he would pay for it. Kinda like “leaving your wallet in your other pair of pants”.
Wow, I never paid for my own dates either. I guess there is a down side to being to liberated.
Mr M…Why?
No, Grey, it’s not mooching. Unless it becomes a habit when you are back in the money!
@maggiemaye I wouldn’t THINK of the woman paying. That’s me. Even when it’s not a date. At work, I could be on line in the cafeteria talking to a woman on line before me or after me, and often I’ll pay for her!
You’re dating, he knows you’re broke, it’s not mooching unless you’re using him for his money.
@MrM, my husband would never allow that, he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for another man to ever pay for anything for me. So weird, because I don’t mind getting free stuff! lol
@Mr_M – my wife wouldn’t accept if another man offered to buy her something.
The check? I’ve never been turned down when it comes to a small lunch check.
The women know me and know me well. I don’t do it with women I don’t know. I’ve been working there 15 years!
Thanks guys! He doesn’t usually pay for me which is why I was worried. I will definitely pay him back when I have money again, I’m just not sure when that time will be…
Damn this stupid economy.
@casheroo and @GAMBIT , maybe it’s a “cultural” thing, i.e., in the “hospital” culture, it’s COMMON for doctors, administrators, etc. to pay checks, buy pizzas, etc. The recipients are very happy when that happens.
@Mr_M Sooo doctors buy things for the nurses? Or the clerical workers? Why? Because doctors make more money…? I’m just curious.
Knowing more of your situation (working their 15 years…) I doubt my husband would care. I thought you’d go up to random ladies and buy them lunch! lol
It’s done, actually, to get better service from the person or the group you’re paying for, or just because you’re a nice guy.
Why do you need to pay him back? He shouldn’t expect you to and you shouldn’t feel obligated to. It’s only dinner, drinks, or a movie not a vacation in Europe.
I agree with the general consensus. But I will add that it is important that you set regulations for yourself as well. Perhaps your b/f feels obligated to pay when you say you don’t have enough money. He may get tired of it if he is dong this. Only accept his offer on occasion, it isn’t necessary to accept it everytime. It is important that you let him know that you aren’t telling him you don’t have enough money to prompt him to pay. Just my two cents.
@elijahsuicide: He doesn’t expect me too certainly and I don’t feel obligated to. I just think it would be nice if I could give him a break every once in a while. Also, because I’m moving into an apartment, as opposed to living on campus next year, I am saving a hug amount of money and so will have a little extra. I like treating him sometimes. :)
@RedPowerLady: This has only happened a few times very recently. I’ve found other ways to get around my money issues, like trading valuable cards for a draft or bringing food from home instead of buying wendy’s or the pizza there. I’ve told him that I don’t like owing him money and he says I don’t owe him anything. I try very hard not take advantage. :)
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