Lets say you were my health teacher...

Well a couple of things:

1. I wasn’t there so I don’t know exactly how it may have sounded (even taking your story at face value). I once had a friend at school who was a big teaser. So one day in Biology class the teacher said that on average, men are heavier than women. We had a very fat girl in our class and this boy says: “so does that mean that on average I should be heavier than X?”. He did not use any offensive language, and he did not even call her fat, but it was pretty obvious to everyone why he asked the question. So even if your question was honest, it may have sounded wrong.

2. There is no way in hell you’re going to get a teacher to talk against their colleagues. That gym teacher could have been a Nazi torturer who ate puppies for breakfast, and you’d still get detention. Especially since she’s not there anymore to defend herself. It is possible that she’s not even openly gay.

3. Being indignant just makes things worse in these cases. Even when you’re right.

Was the gym teacher actually out as a lesbian, or is this just the sort of thing that “everybody knows”?

Because if it’s the former, then it’s a reasonable question, although it is on the border of good taste.

If it’s the latter, you ought to be ashamed of yourself for spreading rumors, and you deserve every minute of detention.

I don’t think I would have found it offensive, unless the gym teacher in question wasn’t “out” and there was just an assumption of her being a lesbian. Even though she doesn’t work at the school, she could still have friends or colleagues who wouldn’t want word spreading about her sexual preferences. If she’s working at another school, rumors like that could cause problems for her.

However, at least the question seems to have been following the general discussion. What would be more offensive to me, and probably to gay people, is the assumption that a homosexual is sexually attracted to everyone of the same sex. I mean, the sight of a guy changing isn’t going to throw me into uncontrollable lust.

No she was openly gay, there was even a PTA meeting about her working as a gym teacher…go figure…

and I’m not a class clown. It was a casual question… i raised my hand and everything…

i can’t believe i’m telling you this, but this is how it was when i was in high school, if you skip saturday school you will get in school detention, in school detention is easier to deal with than saturday school, you get to miss a day of classes (when you would be at school anyway instead of having to go in on a saturday) and you can work on your missed work independently (if you choose to), when I was in in-school there was a bunch of my friends and we got to watch movies, not that I promote my old behavior, but it’s an option. I think discipline in high schools can be very nonintuitive, you might as well choose what suites you best

It’s not really appropriate to talk about specific people’s preferences in that sort of setting. You singled out the gym teacher whether you were outing her or not. You could have asked if anyone thought they had been in that situation before and how it made them feel without singling out that teacher or any of the girls who had been in her class.

Even by your own telling, it sounds like you were attempting to make the girls and your teacher uncomfortable. Instead of opening the discussion you were pretty much shutting it down. With all the stuff afterward, banging your head and continuing to argue the point instead of just apologizing, just made it worse.

You just need to think a bit more about how your actions might affect other people. Here’s hoping for a better day tomorrow. Take care.

You shouldn’t have named another teacher, that was uncalled for and outs her to anyone who didn’t know, especially bringing it up in that discussion I would be worried about casting doubts on her professionalism. I would have kicked you out as well.

And were you at this supposed PTA Meeting? If you weren’t I wouldn’t even bring it up in your arguments.

And I didn’t even finish reading your post, going back and finishing I have another opinion.

Grow up. Snappy comebacks are never going to help you in life, you might feel like hot shit for a second, but there are authority figures who will bitch slap you right back where you belong.

“I’m not a class clown. It was a casual question… i raised my hand and everything…”
You just proved your immaturity.

I think I would have been moderately miffed about the fact that, by asking that question, you’re assuming that the gym teacher was attracted to her students (which also could get into being attracted to minors, which is another serious matter). I know some people who are homophobic and simply assume that if someone is homosexual and attracted to their gender, they will automatically check them out and look at them and such. I’m straight, but I don’t stare down every man who walks by. Her position as a teacher and authority figure aside, implying that she was a predator who got her jollies watching her students change could easily be inflammatory. If you really wanted to talk about that kind of situation, you might have presented it in a hypothetical manner, without mentioning specifics. In short, it was out of place to bring that up in a classroom setting. Your arguing and being indignant (I understand you were frustrated, but still) were what really got you in detention. Explaining that you didn’t mean to be offensive and that your question really had the best intentions would have benefited you more than banging your head on a locker and talking back.

lurve, for jollies.

@asmonet What i meant by the ‘raising my hand’ comment was that i didn’t just blurt it out as a joke like a smart comment…i waited my turn and i asked the question nicely no foul tone or anything.

Also maybe you misunderstood me banging my head on a locker, that was my way of kind of telling myself ‘wow what the fuck just happened’, but i guess i should have broke it down for you to understand. I don’t think talking back to my teacher made me hot shit, i just thought that she was taking this way to far, this is the first time i have ever gotten in trouble EVER. All i wanted to know is if my question was out of line, there was honestly no need for you to call me immature.

as far as the PTA meeting goes, my best friends mom goes to the meetings and tells him and me about certain stuff, thats how i knew.

You’ve acted immaturely, that’s a fact. Not necessarily an insult. If I’d called you a fucking crybaby, then yes, I would agree with what you said.

You were in the wrong, instead of thinking about it quietly and collecting your thoughts to avoid confusion you ‘banged your head on a locker’. You made an inappropriate comment, and continued to act immaturely after the fact. If I were you, I’d apologize to the teacher with out any ‘because’ or ‘buts’. Take responsibility, learn the lesson, move on.

And by your own admission you’re a smart ass, you don’t think that’s a little immature?

i think me making a smart ass comment was my way of telling the teacher what i didn’t understand, i still do not think i made an inappropriate comment it was a LEGIT question. like i said later on that day at school i attempted to explain myself to her by letting her know what i meant and i even did say sorry for your information. If anything i think she was the one acting like a little kid, but whatever you and her have your opinions and obviously you both don’t understand what i meant.

The tone of the question isn’t the problem; you can ask it in the nicest, calmest vocal intonation after raising your hand and politely waiting your turn, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that the content was clearly insulting and slanderous. I’m sure you didn’t mean it to be, but that’s how it came across, regardless of your intention or comprehension of what is out of line. Your behavior after the fact just added insult to injury, which is probably why you received the punishment that you did. People get in trouble sometimes for things they didn’t mean to do, it’s not the end of the world. You simply had a few hours in detention, it’s not like you went to jail or had to pay an enormous fine. You asked for our opinion as to whether we would be offended by your question, and we said yes. I’m sorry if you were looking for responses to make you feel justified. Again, I’m sure you meant no harm, but your “legit” question obviously offended people. I understand completely what you meant, but when it comes down to it, the classroom was not the place. Don’t be surprised when you ask a question like this and don’t get responses that bolster your side.

@TitsMcGhee thank you =]

@jamzzy: You’re… welcome? I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not… I hope not? I’m just going off the quips you’ve been going back and forth with with @asmonet…

@TitsMcGhee no sarcasm, you kind of did what @asmonet couldve done in a less asshole way.

@jamzzy: Well then, you’re welcome, but careful about calling @asmonet an asshole. She’s a valued member of the community. People have been getting easily offended around here a lot; I think people should chill out in general.

peace treaty…...for now.

I just don’t tolerate attitude problems well. So sue me. :)

I actually think what happened in your classroom was a result of two things:

One, teachers are very loyal to other teachers. and two, your teachers are a generation or two older than you. so while you think “hey, Miss P____ is gay, no big deal”, your teachers probably think its a sensitive subject, especially because there was a friggin’ PTA about it (which, really, what part of the country do you live in? That seems old school)

Also, even though the example was obvious, your teacher probably thought that you insinuating Miss P____ was some kind of leering pervert. I can see how she misinterpreted it, though your punishment is I think, overly severe. But because other kids at your school ARE total homophobes, every one must be punished equally I guess.

A bit of advice. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. In other words, apologies and humility goes a lot farther than smart ass comments.