What would you do if you loved 2 people at the same time?

I guess it depends on who you love. I am absolutely 100% in love with my partner of eight years. And I wouldn’t leave him if someone else loved me. I would be happy and a bit guilty that someone could feel that for me but there would be no desire to pursue it.

I’m not sure if that helps your situation but who do you feel stronger for? Leaving someone for a “what if” would probably be a poor idea. Leaving someone to follow your heart or passion is another story.

I’d make darn sure of which one you actually loved. One could just be passion.

At the same time how can you fullfill your heart’s desires without crushing someone else’s heart in the process?

Love is a choice you make, not some passive feeling that comes over you, or over which you have no control. So the only way you could truly love two people is if you chose to love both.

@Poser Love can be a choice you make and it can be a feeling that comes over you. I see how one would not believe in the latter until you have experienced it, then there are no longer any doubts.

@qualitycontrol Sometimes you can’t but you should always try.

Investigate the possibility of a polyamorous relationship.

I love both of my children – oh, wait, that’s not the sort of love you mean, is it?

And you can always love more than one person, but choose not to act on that love in a physical sense with any but the one to whom you have made a commitment. It’s called “being an adult.”

@RedPowerLady I have experienced very strong emotions for people, which I thought would never fade or change. They always have. Those feelings, no matter how strong, were not love. I don’t doubt that it is possible to have those types of feelings for more than one person at once. But I stick to my original statement. These emotions are attraction, lust, affection, desire, whatever. Not love.

Love is the choice you make to put another’s well-being above your own. Love means choosing to continue doing right by that other person, despite how you may feel. Love isn’t what Hollywood says it is—perfect, easy, unintentional, accidental. It’s a deliberate decision one makes every day.

Good question, I have no real answer here. I have two people I love in much the same way, but I haven’t ever looked at it in this way. As Darwin says, you have to stick with the one you made the commitment to. It’s called being an adult. Lurve to Darwin.

“Love the one you’re with.”

@Poser But just because you haven’t experienced it does it mean it does not exist?

I have experienced love with the same partner now for eight years btw. It is love, I am sure. But perhaps love is subjective, well I suppose it is anyhow. or perhaps you have an nice surprise coming to you in the future

I think you can love more than one person.
I’d say choose the person you can imagine growing old with.

@RedPowerLady I think you need to re-read my post. I said I have felt those feelings that are all too often mistaken for love. In fact, I feel them now for my girlfriend. But I don’t mistake the feelings I have for her for the love I have for her. The difference is that even if I were to start feeling those same feelings for someone else, I would still only love my GF.

Most of these cases, love turns out to be just the exciting passion of a new relationship. That’s not love.

@Poser All I am saying is that I believe in a love that happens to you. And love that is a choice. I agree it is not Hollywood style love. But before you said “Love is a choice you make, not some passive feeling that comes over you, or over which you have no control.” And I think it can be both. I was talking about that type of love, the type that is both. But like I said before I suppose love is subjective so there is no point in arguing over the matter because I am sure it is different for everyone. I was just giving my two cents. I apologize if I have upset you, I don’t want to cause any hate over love ;)

@RedPowerLady You haven’t upset me. We simply have a difference of opinion. I think that calling a transient feeling “love” is dangerous. Believing that one can fall into love, completely outside of their control opens them up to believing that they can fall out of love just as easily. The problem with this viewpoint is that often, the reason that people believe they’ve fallen out of love is because they believe that they’ve fallen in love with a new person (as this question demonstrates), simply because they’ve started having these feelings for someone new.

These feelings are usually so strong and difficult to ignore that it becomes almost impossible to let them go, especially if you believe that it must be love. The truth is, it’s selfishness. It gives people an “out,” makes it easier to deny responsibility for one’s actions. “It wasn’t my fault! I just fell out of love!” Many a marriage (not to mention childhood) has been destroyed over such a belief.

@Poser Now I will agree with that viewpoint. In regards to falling “out of love”. Very well said.

@RedPowerLady I guess it just boils down to an idea I have that love is the most valuable thing in life, short of life itself, and that it should be treated with the utmost respect and reverence. That’s not to say that I haven’t, in my youth, been guilty of throwing the idea around too casually, or that I condemn those who do. But as I’ve grown older, I hope I’ve grown more mature. My views on love have certainly done so. I think my son had a lot to do with that.

Depending on the circumstances, infatuation often seems like love, but is really more obsessiveness. Love has to have sustainability to it.