Why would he do this, if its not what he wants?

The only person who can truthfully answer this question is your boyfriend. You should ask him.

You have the right to be treated awesomely and respectfully, and I have to say that him telling you he wants to be single, but then kissing you and treating you like his girlfriend, and then flip flopping back and forth between being nice and being a dick is not awesome nor respectful. In fact, it’s quite disrespectful. You do not need to put up with this behaviour.

If I were in your situation, I would have one serious discussion with him about the relationship and where we both intend to take it, and then unless we had agreed to get back together, I would cease contact with him for at least a few weeks.

“Being friends”, as he says, does not mean kissing and hugging and pretending to be girlfriend and boyfriend. Not at all.

Sometimes after being in a relationship with someone for a long time, it’s best to cease contact for a period of time to let things cool down and let you find out what you truly want.

Sounds like there is another girl or there is “every other girl”. My GUESS would be that he wants to be free from a relationship but wants to keep all the perks. As far as him being rude, it could be a million things; bad mood, him struggling internally with his decision, or something else. You need to ask him.
It’s interesting that in your question you still refer to him as you boyfriend. I understand that’s probably what you want. But if you let him treat you like a girlfriend and he still believes there is no relationship. You are letting him use you.

I think he’s a douche. Cut him loose – you’re fantastic, last thing you need to be toting around is 140+ lbs of douche bag with you.

It might help to take a break and give each other some space if he’s going through some tough times. If he really cares about you he will realize how much he misses you. If not then he isn’t worth your time, find a guy who will be there no matter what.

He probably just doesn’t want to be tied down to one person, If he’s still fooling around and hanging out with you then there’s really no reason you shouldn’t be together, I’m saying this because it was his choice. He either doesn’t want to be in a relationship or there’s just someone else.In my opinion I’d say someone else.. I’ve been in somewhat of a situation like this. Just try talking to him about it…

All of you guys make a really good point and I thank you for the advice.

@iJimmy: Your right I did still refer to him to my boyfriend I guess amybe because I’m not ready to let go or the fact that he still treats me like he is my boyfriend. Maybe there is another girl/s but it’s hard to find out.

@dynamicduo: I’ve had a serious talk with him about it and we settle things out as in that we were taking a “break” and when he fixed what he needed to be fixed we would get back together and I agreed. But then not even a day later he was just a straight up jerk, when all I do is bend over backwards to give him the world.

@kayysamm So you guys have agreed to taking a break, but are still hanging out together? I don’t really think this is taking a break at all. To me, “let’s take a break” means we will rarely be talking to each other, it certainly does NOT mean he can kiss me and pretend things are OK and then treat me like shit the next day.

Did you tell him he was being a jerk? How did he react?

It doesn’t seem like he’s committed at all to your happiness, which to me is the number one priority in a relationship.

I’m afraid I don’t see any real reason why you should continue with this relationship. It seems you are all in and he is flopping around like a fish.

Since you have apparently already had the talk, I would suggest ceasing all contact with him until he is willing to either treat you with respect and/or make up his damn mind about what he wants. It sounds to me like he wants to keep you around for the perks having a girlfriend entails, BUT he also wants the freedom to do what he wants to do without any boyfriend responsibility. One of two things will now happen. You will either let him continue to treat you like crap, or you will put a stop to it. Only YOU hold that power.

I believe in the dignity of people.

It sounds like he’s giving you crossed messages on a daily basis. If he does still want to be romantically involved he should be treating you better then he is right now…really there is no excuse for that on again off again stuff he pulls. My suggestion is to run not walk away from him physically. If it was me I’d suddenly be unavailable for any thing he wants from you or whenever he wants to be with you. If he really cares or even if he doesn’t that should make him start to respect you and your needs. Stay away from him until he changes, a lot, for the better.

By the way, dynamicduo, is that flop like a fish line in your sentence mean you watch Sponge Bob Square Pants? Its some of the words to that cartoon’s theme song.

I am so glad I’m not dating anymore. I have no words of wisdom. I’m just sorry for your pain. I remember feeling like that. Yuck.

@manoffaith3112: Thank you and on a daily basis he makes things more and more difficult. Today he called and asked to hang out and if I wanted to go to dinner I told him no because I was going to philly with a few friends and he flipped. He did the whole who are going with, why are you going, what are you doing. He acts like he wants to be a boyfriend and have control of me but not be my boyfriend.

WE don’t have sexual contact anymore because I told him when we broke up that’s that unless we are dating I’m not a trap. So hopefully things will go good.

@manoffaith3112 While I do watch Spongebob sometimes, that played no part in my use of the sentence here :)

It was just a guess. Thanks. I watch it too with my kids.

This is none…none of my business…I just have a strong opinion about this fella you’ve discribed.

He truly sounds posessive. I’ve been married for 22 years, and don’t make a practice of always asking my wife where she is going, who she is going with, or why she is going. Sometimes I ask about those things only because I’m being interested in her, but not to try to control what she wants to do….I trust her…With out that there would be no chance of a good relationship.

This fella sounds pretty immature, and sure sounds like he may be fun to be with, but is more trouble then he is worth.

If I was you…which I know I’m not…I’d stay clear of him and try to develop your spiritual side. Let the Lord in your life because of a certain promise. Jesus said if we seek God the Father first and His kingdom all the needs we have will be added to us. The requirement is repentence, talking to Him, and reading one’s bible. Finding a local church that is bible based would be good too.
Then after finding your spiritual side begin to pray for guidence, and its possible God would give you a good soul mate. That is what happened to me. I was back slidden, and through God’s mercy I found a true love…Jesus…and not long after started going to church with my current wife.
Remember, you can cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you.