How do I tell the guy I love that I'm 19 years older than him?
I met this man over a year ago and we had an instant attraction. Neither one of us new each others age. I was married at the time going through a divorce. We became really good friends but only see each other when I go to his work to see him. I know he wants to date me and is looking for marriage and kids. He knows that I’m older but I dont think he really knows how much older I am. He once told me that he dont think age is a problem just the fact that he dont think I want kids or marriage. I never told him anything different but I would want those things if its with the right person. I have fallen very much in love with him and he is a very wonderful guy not like most men who just want one thing. He has been patient and a real gentlemen. I dont even feel like were a different age. We like the same things music, sports, football, kids etc. I dont ever want to live my life without him. How do I tell him my age or should I wait until he ask me? I care about him more than anything and never want to hurt him. I never really expected to fall in love with him. I know he has feelings for me also and has been waiting for me to be free. Please let me know what I should do?
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17 Answers
1. There are no guarantees in any relationship.
2. It sounds like he understands the differences you have with respect to marriage and family.
3. I’ve been with a woman 15 years older than me for the past four years, and I don’t regret it one bit. She’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.
4. He doesn’t care how old are.
5. If your experience is like mine, your differences won’t be about so much about age as preferences about other things. That and you may end up not being crazy about each other’s friends.
Honestly, as long as neither of you is underage it doesn’t matter. It you really feel like you have to say something, on your birthday have a numbered cake or party.
But if he’s here, I think he knows already.
You say, “Hey, want to come to my 44th birthday party?”
He hasn’t asked how old you are (after a year? wow.) and says he doesn’t care about age. Maybe you’re thinking too much about about it.
I like @MissAusten ‘s idea. Keep it casual, it’s not worth a big discussion. had you lied about your age and now wanted to come clean, that would be different.
“I’m 19 years older than you.”
…I was married at the time going through a divorce….I know he wants to date me….. I have fallen very much in love with him…We like the same things I don’t ever want to live my life without him.
Talk to your friends about your situation,see what they have to say about it. Hate to break it to ya but it appears that you have caught the dreaded cougar rebound disease. It’s quite common.
My SO currently has a restraining order against someone who allowed it to get the best of her and my SO wasn’t even dating the guy, they are just good friends.
Age has nothing to do with how you feel in your heart. (I’m speaking from experience) If you love each other & want to build a life together, go for it! For pete’s sake, don’t let this become an issue between you. Sit down & talk this out, tho. It sounds like he’d be cool with it. Be happy. Don’t let him slip through your fingers! You’ll regret it of you do.
@HarmonyAlexandria What is the “dreaded cougar rebound disease?” I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it.
@chyna It can only be diagnosed by people who know the person in question, preferably for a long time but do you see the phrases I parsed out in my initial response? Those make me believe it’s a possibility.
A women in her late 30s early 40s gets divorced, and wishes to recapture her youth, so she seeks out, or worse yet hunts, potential dates(it’s not limited to heterosexuals) who are in their teens/early 20s.
It’s not like these women are being manipulative (those are far worse, hurting people to fulfil their needs), on the contrary they honestly believe they have a chance and/or can make it work…but something blinds them to the reality of the age differences.
I didnt know he was younger than me until recently. I wasnt out searching for a younger guy. It just happened and we have a lot of the same things in common.
He doesn’t care what number of birthdays you have celebrated. It sounds like he just wants to celebrate the rest of them with you. Lucky you!
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@beckers Dude, punctuation is your friend. And so is spelling.
@chyna dude are you making funn of me
@chyna IM only 13! so im not that smart! i have a gpa of like 1.16
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