Would you date someone with a child who was recently divorced or seperated if your both in your early twenties?

Yes, to the first question.

Almost certainly not once the details are added.

I would give someone I was interested in a chance, even if they had a kid. But if they left me to go have the kid, I think there would be too much bad blood between me and them and the kid’s momma for me to be a good or fair step-parent. It wouldn’t be fair to them as a family and honestly, it wouldn’t be healthy for me.

even if you were 16 at the time that happened?

He didnt leave me to have a child. This was 8 years ago. We were high school sweethearts and then we broke up. he was interested in her and they dated for 8 years got married had a kid now they r divorced.

I still probably wouldn’t. I don’t like to re-date. It never works out for me. There is usually a good reason we broke up.

kk thanks for your opinion = )anyone else?

Yes, but I’m also divorced with a child, so that’s a big part of the reason (and my last gf is a single mother with a child the same age as mine).

Now if that’s your first love (and I’m assuming this is not a hypothetical question anymore) then things are more complicated. Does he really like you or is he looking for something “safe”, someone that will not reject him now that he’s feeling low? Could it be that he’s just using you and will move on to someone else once this phase is over? And if so, would it bother you (perhaps you know that and you’re ok with it)? It sounds sort of complicated.

Yes, I’d date them if I’d observed they were a responsible parent and I respected the character of them currently.

Well we were both 15–16 at the timme and this was 8 years ago. I am not saying I would ever go back with him but I was just wondering what other people thought. I mean from what I know he only dated me and her. I didnt ever doubt his feelings for me when we were together. I havent seen him in many years so I don teven know if I would like him haha but I always said to myself Id never date someone with a child. Lately Ive been asking my girlfrriends and they said they know a lot of peopl ewho do it and they are happy! I would be constantly thinking “is he going to get back with his ex wife?” etc etc

Also the ex wife would always be around because of the child so I dont think I can ever deal with that.

It seems a little complicated and I don’t like complications in my life if I can avoid them, so in the entire situation you described, no.
But, the question of, would I date someone with a child, the answer is yes.

So basically just because Ive dated him before means I shouldnt date him again even though we were 15 ? Even though there are no hard feelings ? ok

@missjena I hope you weren’t directing that at me. I didn’t say that. I said that I wouldn’t date someone in those circumstances. I didn’t say you shouldn’t.

Hell no. I’m going to enjoy life to the fullest until I’m 30, which means no heavy-duty relationship baggage and definetly no babies.

@chyna aw no Im just taking everyones opinions into consideration. I am not sure what I would do but I am almost positive I wouldnt go back out with him. I dont want baggage. lol

I have dated and married someone that has children from a previous marriage. You need to ask yourself if you are going to be able to deal with all the problems of having a stepchild. The exes usually (not always) causes problems. Would you be able to live with that? Personally, i am speaking from experience, I wouldn’t do it. I am not saying you shouldn’t thats your decision. My marriage lasted 12 yrs. The kids played a major roll in the breakup

anyone not against this idea? lol

I think you answered the question for yourself when you said, “I would be constantly thinking ‘is he going to get back with his ex wife?’ etc etc” No relationship would survive the sort of pressure a constant question like that would bear on it. You’d have to trust him, kid or no. That’s the basic issue, it sounds like, for you.

@april but what if i did trust him? hypothetically, what would you do? if i didnt think he would go back with her would you date someone who has a kid?

@missjena – Me, no, because I’m not good with kids and I’d hate to be that person the kid loathes for “taking her daddy away.” The older I get, though, I have less of an option to date only childless men (I’m no cougar), so I suppose at some point I’ll have to learn to get along better with children and teenagers.

The problem for me is not getting along with his kid because I am great with kids and work with kids. I just never saw myself dating someone with a child because of the constant connection with the exwife or whatever.