Has it been common to you that once in love, you are expected to want more of "lovemaking" than "sex" and have wondered why there needs to be a changeover in terminology or attitude?

Huh. Nope. We make out. I mean, we “make out”. Terminology wise, we really haven’t moved past our second or third week in the relationship, though, um, activity wise we definitely have. But when it’s not making out, it’s sex. It’s never been “lovemaking”.

And in case he reads this, it’s never going to be because that’s a silly term.

I need both in a relationship. There is a definate difference between the two. It depends on how I’m feeling that day.
the words “making love” never actually come out of my mouth though. I can’t say it without feeling creeped out.

^ definite

They way we fuck depends on our mood and how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other.

Maybe I’m weird, but making love, and fucking are two different things to me lol. Making love is just different. We don’t say “i want to make love” but, my husband will initiate it differently.

@casheroo I agree; it is different.

Weird. I don’t understand this “just fucking” idea. Love is a part of it always, for me.

How can you separate the two? Is it like you turn off your feelings, and it’s like jerking off with someone else there?

I totally agree that there’s a difference, but they’re best when the person you love is on the other end. Even F*cking is better when it’s with my sweetie – it’s just a little less like Valentine’s day and more like Beltane.

@daloon You’ve never just had rough, or playful sex, no emotions involved? Have you only slept with your wife? i know these questions are personal I have not been in love with every single guy I’ve slept with, so how could we make love?

@daloon I still love the person even if we are fucking. Fucking is the dirty, nasty, sweaty, hair pulling, ass slapping sex. Making love is the tender, slow, looking into eyes, romantic sex.

Daddy used to say “fightin’ is fightin’ and fuckin’ is fuckin’.”

keep issues of subtlety and semantics out of the bedroom and in the decor, where they belong

I think both have their place in a loving, accepting relationship.

Unfortunately, I guess, I have never had the pleasure of fucking. I take that back. Once. And even with her there were feelings. So, no, @casheroo, I’ve never done it without emotions involved. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get laid very much. I thought emotions were supposed to be involved. In fact, more than once, I turned down an opportunity, because my feelings weren’t strong enough.

But my feelings flow easily. I could love so many women. It usually doesn’t work out like that. It still makes me a bit jealous knowing there is a lot of fucking going on out there, and I will never get in on it.

Again, f’king doesn’t have to be emotionless. Perhaps this is a better definition – lovemaking is for the soul, and f’king is for the body. Both can be emotional.

@daloon I didn’t mean to imply to fucking is emotionless. Not being in love doesn’t mean it was emotionless. Fucking my husband doesn’t mean it’s emotionless.

oh. So “fucking” is, shall we say, “athletic” love making?

There ya’ go.

Not something that people with bad backs, sore hips, and regular migraines tend to engage in, I suppose.

@elijahsuicide and @EmpressPixie I thought it was just me that found the term _lovemaking,_a bit cheesy. Just asked my husband, he finds it cheesy, too. I wonder if it’s also a generational thing.

F*ing and love making can be part of a very loving relationship. Though my husband and I hate the term lovemaking (making love), there is a difference between the two and there are times when we have done one, or both even in the same night.

@daloon usually after the fact I have a bad back and sore hips, and a migraine if my head got slammed into anything :-P

@elijahsuicide: if I am ever introduced to this activity, I hope my experience will be as athletic as yours! ;-)

Making love is Peter Frampton. “Ooh baby I love your way.”

Fucking is Led Zeppelin. “Hey hey momma said the way you move. Gunna make you sweat, gunna make you groove.”

“Lovemaking” is a cheesy term indeed. My husband uses it, and I know what he’s trying to convey, but it’s a bit of a mood-killer for me. I feel like I’m in a romance novel, and I’m supposed to “embrace his throbbing manhood with my moist well of desire” or something like that.

@laureth – Wow, you just may have a future as a romance novelist – but you must put Fabio on the cover! ultimate cheese factor

@laureth lol4rl

I agree with @elijahsuicide. Depends on the day, our moods, etc. They are different and both are necessary.
But, yes, I think in a lot of relationships this does happen—like okay we love each other now we can’t just fuck because we have to be sweet and endearing and it has to mean something.

@aviona But that sounds so boring. :(

In theory, I appreciate the difference between both.
In practice, I really can’t take the phrase making love very seriously.

An ex once told me they wanted to make love to me.
My reaction was to bust out laughing.

Probably not the response they were going for.

@Nimis – Oh! That’s funny!

I asked someone once whether we were fucking or making love and he said he didn’t know how to do the first. We were in that in-between stage of the relationship. I think it was his way of being romantic and showing he cared. :)