Is this lust or is it attraction?

Is there a difference?

Why does a distinction have to be made? If it’s to determine if you’re sinning, stop doing it if you’re convinced that you are sinning and that you’ll eventually suffer some ill because of it. Until then, as long as you’re not hurting anyone, forcing anyone to commit an act against his/her will, be happy with what you’ve got.

Not everything has to be analyzed and thought to death.

OK, I tried to edit my response, but I was too late. Strike the last line. That was me providing commentary on my wonderful sister’s tendency to think…a lot, I mean…a lot.

They may lust each other, but are in love with each other. You can want to have sex with someone, and still be in love with them.

As I understand it, Lust implies the absence of Love. It is purely carnal and disregards the lasting bonds of Love. Having thoughts turn towards the future is perfectly natural and even desirous for creating lasting bonds.

When Lust becomes all encompassing and there is no thought of anything but that carnal desire, then Love is being eclipsed. What you described above seems very innocent. A recognition of Love.
———-
“When His love is there, every bitterness turneth sweet, and every bounty rendereth a wholesome pleasure. For example, a melody, sweet to the ear, bringeth the very spirit of life to a heart in love with God, yet staineth with lust a soul engrossed in sensual desires. And every branch of learning, conjoined with the love of God, is approved and worthy of praise; but bereft of His love, learning is barren—indeed, it bringeth on madness.”
Abdu’l-Baha

As I just said in another question, I don’t get how you can have sex without making love. When I want to be intimate with someone, it is because I have some level of feeling for them. Usually love. So I interpret your feelings, Supermouse, as love. It is a natural part of love. To dismiss it as something less (and I’m sure there are plenty of words to diminish sex) is to dishonor your love, in my opinion.

@fireside Lust has nothing to do with love
lecherousness: a strong sexual desire
crave: have a craving, appetite, or great desire for
self-indulgent sexual desire (personified as one of the deadly sins)
To me, lust just means you have a strong desire to have sex with someone.

@casheroo – I agree that lust has nothing to do with love. When taken in the context of sinning, lust is carnal and love is emotional.

Only one way to solve this problem… get married quickly! :)

All I wold like to add is a “good-on-ya” for waiting until marriage. It is a highly under-rated building block of marriage to do so imho.

It sounds to me like the couple is very attracted to each other and dedicated to the ideals of abstinence until marriage. I believe that indicates that their love and devotion and principles are very strong and respectable, in my humble opinion. I don’t see lust figuring anywhere into that equation.

Holding one another and kissing would naturally engender feelings of wanting to be sexually intimate with each other wouldn’t it? That seems entirely normal and expected but I don’t see a lust aspect.

I guess to me love does not preclude lust at all. I think you can be in love with someone and that lust for them is the sexual desire part of that love. You can lust after someone without loving them as well, but you can lust after someone you love and I see nothing unnatural about that. I am not really concerned with the religious concepts of love and lust; to me, it’s how you act towards people that counts. If you are in love with someone and desire them, that’s geat whatever you want to call it.

I can answer this question from first-hand experience because this is the type of relationship I am currently in. It is love. Yes, they are thinking about the wonderful feelings of sex, yes, they contemplate what it will be like, but, most importantly, they are committed enough to each other to abstain until marriage. This act in itself is a manifestation of one of the purest forms of love. They are defying the stereotype and withstanding all types of peer pressure to remain firm in what they believe in. They are taking the opportunity to truly learn to love each other for far more than physical motives. My SO often reminds me that he desires to make out with and hold me primarily because it is the only physical way he knows how to express how much he loves me. These types of feelings come with those of sincere affection.

I fell asleep with the window open… sorry guys

Attraction, imho, incites lust, which can be either co-morbid or independent of emotional connection of any level, from friendship up through love. Attraction is the first indicator that you might lust after someone, but being attracted to someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you do (or will) lust after them. There are sliding spectrums and scales for all of these things.

Both. I commend you if that is you in this circumstance. Waiting is both a gift and a statement. A gift is fun in both anticipation and in the giving. It’s a statement that they have always and will always be faithful to you, even with you yourself. In other words they have the fortitude to stay within decided boundaries that will result in the most physically blissful option. The true mark of intelligence is people who forgoes something/reward for a bigger something/reward at a later time.