Do you feel threatened by your SO's exes?

I’m not threatened by my SO’s exes. He’s with me. He doesn’t want to go back to them. I’m with him. I don’t want to go back to my exes. I would be upset if he didn’t want me seeing my exes—a lot of them are good friends. Similarly, I’d never try and stop him from seeing his exes.

But my break-ups, for the most part, have been very low key and mutual. So there really wasn’t much of a dumper or dumpee—no hidden, lurking feelings to worry about.

Considering she’s had sex with three of them since we’ve been married, um, hell yes I feel threatened. However, at the same time, my ex is my best friend.

If there are ex’s in the picture, that’s my cue to bow out. If the person I’m seeing wants to spend time with an ex instead of me, then I’m not going to play games.

I don’t know! Even now that we’ve broken up I still feel threatened and sort of jealous of his exes! This makes me a total hypocrite because I’ve been spending plenty of time with/talking to mine…

Oh, wow – @ru2bz46, I just choked on what I was eating! My friend, one day, you will find the one that is so worth it.

No, I don’t feel threatened by his and he doesn’t feel threatened by mine. I have a daughter with my ex, we remain civil, but that’s about it. I really do not like him and lucky for us, most of the time, he can’t be bothered to take time to spend with his daughter. He’s not a good influence on her, but she’s pretty grounded. She doesn’t pick up on the things we want her to run from – so not too many worries. As far as anything else, there is nothing. He cheated, gambled and lied. There is nothing left between us.

My husband’s ex, there is nothing there, either. They didn’t have children together, they never see each other. She used to call him, a lot. He asked her to really not call unless it was an emergency. She was calling him to ask questions about her car, about putting a new roof on the house and well, anything she could possibly call him about. She cheated on him – but here’s the twist. He wanted out, he took possessions and gave up the house (he did get a settlement) but he wanted the fastest and easiest way out of the marriage. He never looked back. The only reason I wanted the calls to stop, was because it annoyed him. I wasn’t worried about anything – just didn’t want to see him so annoyed.

Just about everyone I know has dated everyone else or is friends with a friend/relative of theirs.:D :D :D

Even though we are not monogamous, she doesn’t like some of my exs that are hanging around and vice versa. We learned to deal with it as it’s just not worth fighting about.

With my ex, I suspected for quite a while he still had feelings for her even though he claimed not to (you know by the way he talked about her) so I’m always a bit wary now

@cak We’ll see what the future holds, but right now I’m seeing that it’s cheaper to keep ‘er. I can barely afford my apartment.

I’m a very jealous girl, I will admit. I don’t have a problem if they run into each other and talk for a few minutes. Unless they have a kid together there’s really no need to be best buddies. I’m not even friends with my ex husband because there’s no need. We are civil, but we don’t call each other just to chat. I don’t like baggage. Life is about moving forward.

I have felt threatened only when SO’s exes were either malicious or mentally disturbed. To me, someone who shows they are capable of being friends with an ex (platonic) is exemplary; I’m best friends with my ex husband and friends with a few ex bf’s.

No, it’s quite the opposite.

Not at all. I’m better looking. haha
I wouldn’t care if he wanted to meet up with any of them, he’s not really friends with them so it’s never come up. I used to be very insecure, but I was younger so that’s my excuse lol.

If my significant other didn’t care if I met up with my exes I would be a little concerned. Why would you need to hang out with them if your relationship is completely over? Being friendly when you run into them in public is fine; making plans to hang out with them is not cool.

I’ve found that the ex-SO’s I can stay friends with are the ones with whom I shared something more than just the “being-together-as-a-couple” relationship. I’ve had GF’s with whom I met, hooked up, had wild crazy sex, realized we shouldn’t be together, and never see or speak again. Both of the women I married started out as friends for several, or even many years. Just because we don’t work as a couple, doesn’t mean we have to throw the previous friendship away, too.

Not a problem. Neither of us even know what happened to our exes. It was all so long ago.

If I leave her, from the very next day I won’t have any contact with her, and that is anymore. I rarely meet them outside (I rarely have time to go outside) so that’s ok.

If she leaves me, well, that’s completely another story.

Not at all. One of them is dead, the other is a total jerk (which says a lot about her taste in men). If anything, I’m trying to get her to talk to the guy (the living one).

I think at first, like when you first learn about them you get sort of jealous because that means that your partner has come back into contact with them and then they could be a threat, although Ive only been in 2 serious relationships I feel that I can say you get to a point where you say, they are with me and just be happy about that, an ex doesn’t just go away over night and from my own experience I understand that now.

I am not threatened by my husband’s ex. In fact, I feel he should have kept in better contact with her. I don’t see how you can switch someone off after many years together and not at least send a birthday card. He chooses not to though.

As to my ex, I have met with and had coffee with women he has had relationships with since. Our relationship is finished and I don’t want to go back there. If he can find happiness with someone else, great.