What are your answers to James Lipton's famous questions?

1. What is your favorite word? cacophony
2. What is your least favorite word? cunt
3. What turns you on? librarians
4. What turns you off? frat boys
5. What’s your favorite curse word? fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love? my cat purring
7. What sound or noise do you hate? George Bush
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Woodworker.
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Doctor, I couldn’t handle the responsibility.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? The keg is next to the hookers.

1. What is your favorite word? Fuck
2. What is your least favorite word? Fat
3. What turns you on? Unexpected sweetness
4. What turns you off? immaturity
5. What’s your favorite curse word? motherfucker
6. What sound or noise do you love? a soft male voice
7. What sound or noise do you hate? mouth noises, like chewing
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? teaching
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? vet
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? It’s okay, I know you did your best with what I gave you

1. Sussurrus
2. cunt
3. sensuality in any form
4. melodrama
5. fuck
6. birdsong
7. breaking pottery
8. travel guide writer
9. bureaucrat
10. You were right, organized religion sucks.

1. What is your favorite word? exude
2. What is your least favorite word? fuck
3. What turns you on? A good horror movie
4. What turns you off? weight gain
5. What’s your favorite curse word? “Your mother sucks cocks in hell” (from “The Exorcist”)
6. What sound or noise do you love? my kid laughing
7. What sound or noise do you hate? The sound an animal makes when hit by a car.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Elevator Operator
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Opera Singer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Mr. M, the bakery is on your right. Eat as much as you want and you won’t gain a pound. We HAVE angel cake but don’t carry devil’s food. And if Eve is on tonight, stay away from the apple pie!”

Ooh, I love these.

1. What is your favorite word? moist
2. What is your least favorite word? bill
3. What turns you on? intelligence
4. What turns you off? ignorance
5. What’s your favorite curse word? mother-fucker
6. What sound or noise do you love? my wife snoring
7. What sound or noise do you hate? my daughter crying
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? voice overs
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? accountant
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? an endless supply of chocolate chip cookies, that way.

1. What is your favorite word? Sleep
2. What is your least favorite word? Alarm clock
3. What turns you on? Monica Bellucci
4. What turns you off? Stupidity
5. What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love? The, um, let’s say, sound a woman makes to denote approval of a job well done
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Velcro, or fork against a metal pan
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Playboy photgrapher
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Bomb squad guy (I’m color blind, imagine that whole “Cut the blue wire, but careful with the purple one”. Fuck that.)
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Monica Bellucci has been waiting for you”

1. Insupportable!
2. cunt
3. scent (good, of course)
4. overconfidence
5. merde
6. my husband playing the guitar.
7. My husband playing the x-box
8. Actor
9. actuary
10. “Choir Rehearsal starts in an hour.”

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on? Gawkiness
4. What turns you off? Narrow-mindedness
5. What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love? Keyboard tapping
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Anything along the lines of the “nails on a chalkboard” sound. Also, most high pitched sounds.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Writing
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Acting or singing.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You did well, your life had a positive impact on people.

So, jelly heaven would consist of much debauchery and baked goods… hahaha.

1. Family
2. Cunt
3. My husband’s smile
4. Rudeness
5. Fuck
6. Call of the loon
7. Whining
8. Photographer for National Geographic
9. Sales (I’ve done it and I’ll never do it again)
10. There’s a cold beer waiting for you at the swim up bar

1. What is your favorite word? Osillate [sic]
2. What is your least favorite word? Arrogance
3. What turns you on? sharp minds
4. What turns you off? arrogance
5. What’s your favorite curse word? dammit
6. What sound or noise do you love? silence
7. What sound or noise do you hate? My mother’s voice
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Writer
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? factory worker
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Here’s a beer. Be safe and have fun!

1. What is your favorite word? yes
2. What is your least favorite word? fungal
3. What turns you on? genius
4. What turns you off? posers
5. What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love? rainstorm
7. What sound or noise do you hate? leaf blower
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? musician
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? law
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “You have a free pass”

1. What is your favorite word?—Do not have one
2. What is your least favorite word?—Do not have one
3. What turns you on?—Soft butch women
4. What turns you off?—Know-it-alls
5. What’s your favorite curse word?—Cabron
6. What sound or noise do you love?—My cats’ purring
7. What sound or noise do you hate?—Babies’ crying
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?—Rock star
9. What profession would you not like to attempt?—Anything having to do with law enforcement
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?—Don’t worry, we have all the latest TV shows and movies.

1. What is your favorite word? Rural. Fracture.
2. What is your least favorite word? Cunt.
3. What turns you on? Humor, above all else.
4. What turns you off? Arrogance.
5. What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck.
6. What sound or noise do you love? Ocean waves in the Gulf of Mexico, Tropical Thunderstorms. Preferably together. Wind rushing through trees at night.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Others phone calls, on loudspeaker in different rooms.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Astrophysicist.
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Sewage Maintenance.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Surprise, even though you stopped believing, I like you well enough. Come inside, we have cable.

1) What is your favorite word? Buttocks (When said like Forrest Gump it makes me laugh).
2) What is your least favorite word? Bush. I’d pick wis.dm, but that’s not really a word.
3) What turns you on? My wife.
4) What turns you off? My ex-wife. Also hypocrasy and neo-conservatism.
5) What’s your favorite curse word? Frack.
6) What sound or noise do you love? All who know me would say the sound of my own voice, but I’d say the distant sound of a train horn late at night.
7) What sound or noise do you hate? The sound of my ex-wife’s voice.
8) What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? I’d like to be a professor of Roman history or a major league baseball player.
9) What profession would you not like to attempt? Snake charmer (I hate snakes!).
10) If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “I’m sorry, but your ex didn’t make it here.”

1. What is your favorite word? schnitzel
2. What is your least favorite word? c*nt
3. What turns you on? intelligence
4. What turns you off? arrogance
5. What’s your favorite curse word? sh*t
6. What sound or noise do you love? rain on a tin roof
7. What sound or noise do you hate? dentist drill
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? lawyering
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? embalmer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Looks like you finally got that big promotion!!

1. What is your favorite word? quagmire
2. What is your least favorite word? no
3. What turns you on? breasts
4. What turns you off? bad teeth
5. What’s your favorite curse word? fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love? my son saying “dadda”
7. What sound or noise do you hate? alarm clock beeping
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? sports announcer
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Lawyer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome home.

—What’s wrong with cunt? I kinda like it. It’s so vulgar.

I use it sometimes, only when I think someone is being a particular brand of douche bag. Otherwise, like you said, vulgar.

@tinyfaery – you are probably of a vastly different generation than I am. It seems to make a big difference with that particular word…

@vs Vastly? Unless you’re over 50 then probably not.

I sort of love the word “cunt.” I’m surprised to see that many that dislike it.

1. What is your favorite word? crisp
2. What is your least favorite word? dingleberry
3. What turns you on? An excited women just before she comes
4. What turns you off? vaginosis
5. What’s your favorite curse word? motherfucker
6. What sound or noise do you love? a wet blow job
7. What sound or noise do you hate? loud obnoxious drunks when I’m trying to sleep
8.What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Judge
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Accountant
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You don’t have to go back

1. What is your favorite word? LOVE
2. What is your least favorite word? NAZI
3. What turns you on? THE SMELL OF A WOMAN I LOVE
4. What turns you off? BAD SMELLS
5. What’s your favorite curse word? SHIT
6. What sound or noise do you love? CHILDREN’S LAUGHTER
7. What sound or noise do you hate? BULLETS WHIZZING BY
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? ASTRO-NUCLEAR PHYSICIST
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? ANYTHING IN A HSOPITAL (Though I have tremendous respect for them)
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? KIDDING! SEE YOU IN TWENTY.

1. What is your favorite word? enamored.
2. What is your least favorite word? lips.
3. What turns you on? mischievous look.
4. What turns you off? rudeness.
5. What’s your favorite curse word? it varies from day to day.
6. What sound or noise do you love? oars turning in their oarlocks, under a bridge.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? mixing macaroni and cheese or pouring milk.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? train engineer. or i would be samantha brown from the travel channel.
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? the guys who clean the roadkill off the streets.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? sorry, you’re not on the guest list…

1. What is your favorite word? hysterical
2. What is your least favorite word? can’t
3. What turns you on? intelligence
4. What turns you off? arrogance
5. What’s your favorite curse word? jack ass – I know it’s technically not one – but the way I use it…!!! ;)
6. What sound or noise do you love? walking in and hearing my family laughing, hysterically.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? gooey sounds – like blood and guts in a horror movies
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? architecture
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Plumber
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? The game is on, and your dad is waiting.

@row4food
What sound or noise do you hate? mixing macaroni and cheese or pouring milk.
??

@SeventhSense I know, eh! Pouring milk on the ready macaroni and cheese is the icing on the cake!

I’m actually curious. I guess the macaroni smacking together sounds like a tongue smacking against the roof of your mouth? Which to me is also a good thing. Like sloppy, wet kisses.

@SeventhSense I don’t know why I hate those sounds. They’ve just always bothered me. Since I really love macaroni and cheese, I deal with that noise by trying not to think about it. As soon as it pops into my mind, I cringe. I don’t drink milk anymore, but when I was growing up my family had milk every night with dinner. I hated having the job to pour it, just because of the sound.

@row4food
LOL- There may be a couch in your future. J/K :)

1. What is your favorite word? Serendipity
2. What is your least favorite word? c*nt
3. What turns you on? my husband
4. What turns you off? crappy attitudes
5. What’s your favorite curse word? f*^k
6. What sound or noise do you love? the ocean
7. What sound or noise do you hate? traffic
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? millionarie
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? anything where I had to touch other people
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome

@poofandmook
Yes I agree. Cunt is such a powerful word I actually would like to amend my answer. It’s my favorite word

@Dorkgirl
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? millionarie
Can they be found with billionaries at Mount Airy Lodge in the Poconos?

. What profession would you not like to attempt? anything where I had to touch other people
You might be joining @row4food on the couch

@seventhsense If I was a millionaire I’m not sure how much time I’d spend in the Poconos. I guess if the billionaires are willing to share with us millionaires, then maybe. :)
If I need therapy, then so be it.

I completely get the mixing mac and cheese thing… it’s like a million eyes blinking at the same time. shudder. Not a whole lot different from my abhorrence of “mouth” noises.

Oy. Well, to each his own (couch).

<——loves mouth noises

1. What is your favorite word? ithuteng soweto for “never stop learning”
2. What is your least favorite word? maybe
3. What turns you on? quiet confidence
4. What turns you off? disingenuousness
5. What’s your favorite curse word? oh fuckin’-great!
6. What sound or noise do you love? the crunch of snow under my boots
7. What sound or noise do you hate? the crow’s caw
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? actress
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? butcher
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Coffee?”

@poofandmook @row4food : Yeah, I get the mac and cheese noise. It’s like a certain degree of tacky gooeyness that can only be described the way @poofandmook did- like a million eyes blinking at the same time Perfect. I love you now.

1. What is your favorite word? Mommy
2. What is your least favorite word? nub
3. What turns you on? my man
4. What turns you off? my ex
5. What’s your favorite curse word? crap
6. What sound or noise do you love? my boys’ laughing
7. What sound or noise do you hate? constant tapping on the kitchen table
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? screenwriter
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? NASCAR driver or mechanic
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Your mom has been waiting for you.

@SuperMouse What turns you off – my ex – classic!

@tinyfaery, @poofandmook, and @seventhsense, put me down as liking the word cunt as well. I don’t like to hear it used in a derogatory way, but when used correctly it is sexy.

Re. C*nt. Nope. Still can’t get my lips around it.

Um…

1. What is your favorite word? Stethoscope
2. What is your least favorite word? panties
3. What turns you on? men above 6 feet tall
4. What turns you off? naked people with socks on
5. What’s your favorite curse word? c*ck
6. What sound or noise do you love? fire alarms
7. What sound or noise do you hate? loud chewing
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Cupcake shop owner
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Astronaut
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Jane? Jane Meng? Wait! THE Jane Meng!??!?! Omg I’ve been watching you since you were like this high!!! I love you! We are going to have SO much fun!!!”

@IBERnineD Panties? it’s such a friendly sounding word… and you love fire alarms… so it was you the other day at the office!!!

@Zen – panties can sound pretty darn creepy with the wrong person saying the word!

@cak Is dam creepy a euphemism for scary beaver?

It’s obscene that dick, cock and cunt are obscene and used to cause injury. Why not use mouth or tongue as an insult if we’re going to throw body parts around. Spoken words are far more damaging than genitals.

@Zen that’s darn, not dam. However, I do think I’ll use that as a euphemism for a scary beaver – if you don’t mind! Pretty funny!

I never say darn…weird!

@cak—I did just get my first pair of specs, do dam and darn look the same to me without them. In future, when writing darn, be so kind as to write it thus: dran, or, alternately, write: darn (for Zen, not DAM). Thank you for your co-operation.—

@Zen- Dont feel too badly. I thought cak wrote dam as well. They look the same on my iPhone.

@AstroChuck :-)

@Zen & @AstroChuck – Mucho Lurve to both of you. In all fairness, my blind self had the laptop up to my face making sure I didn’t type dam. If someone walked in, I would have looked like a complete nutcase. :)

@Zen I believe panties is just weird… and cak is right, when said by certain people it can be quite creepy. But then again a woman at Victoria Secret said it and it made me cringe even though it wasn’t creepy. And the fire alarms are very soothing to me, and so are closed in spaces. Watch out! Tomorrow I’ll lock you in the supply closet!!!

@IBERnineD Panties, fire-alarms and closed spaces: We are like complete opposites, and thus I declare we should become soul-mates, just for irony’s sake. And you know Irony: she always has her way, darnit.

@Zen I will agree to be your Fluther soul-mate! When’s the wedding?

@IBERnineD – The women – saleswomen – at Victoria’s Secret kind of scare me. I think they get paid by the amount of times they say the word panties.

@cak I swear! They really do!!! that and pink they always end up saying that to me!

@IBERnineD I’m afraid of weddings, too. Let’s just be soul mates?

@IBERnineD – oh yeah! I don’t mind pink, but seriously, I don’t need to be covered in all pink stuff…push me too far and I’m anti-pink!

@Zen sounds like a plan, I have a big “scary” boyfriend that wouldn’t be too happy about a wedding :)

I have a lovely, petite, not-very-scary s/o who would be quite intimidated by your boyfriend, so please don’t bring him to our virtual soul-mate party, thanks.

he only looks “scary”, but really he’s a big teddy bear lol

She only looks petite.

I have a WoW husband…

oh, that’s not what you asked. [backs out slowly]

1. What is your favorite word? Translucent
2. What is your least favorite word?fluctuate 3. What turns you on? women!
4. What turns you off? feet
5. What’s your favorite curse word? f*ck
6. What sound or noise do you love? my son laughing
7. What sound or noise do you hate? traffic
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Painter
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? factory worker
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Now you can rest.

@Horus515 lurve for translucent!

@Horus515
I like it but I don’t believe it.

@SeventhSense @Horus515 I have seen you at the plant, so stop pretending about the “factory worker” stuff. (Oh, sorry. You said you wouldn’t want to be a factory worker – my bad.)

@Horus515
I mean I really don’t believe it. It sounds like a textbook nice answer for the topic. And certainly one that the Hunter S Thompson avatar would take issue with. Least favorite word- fluctuate? That’s like superfluous. It’s a great word. factory worker? painter? These are like the vanilla answers from the James Lipton playbook most likely not to offend at a Mormon gathering.

I’m with @SeventhSense. Literally, I mean, we’re sipping coffee and talking about @Horus515 remarks. Yeah! Vanilla-Ice of answers, man. Cop out. Where’s Hunter when you need him?!

@Zen How do you do it? You were drunk 12 hours ago, now you’re drinking coffee. Do you ever sleep? (Now I’m drunk.) ;)

Slept like a baby for 11 hours, why?

@Zen Hmmm…You can sleep fluther, I’m impressed!

@jonsblond You don’t know what I’m doing with my other hand, er, mind

@Zen I think I need to switch to coffee now! :)

@jonsblond OK, dear. Thanks.

@poofandmook: Well done. WoW. <3

@SeventhSense AND @Zen

Well whether it was vanilla or not it was surely not meant to subdue or pacify. In real life I am un underwriter, I paint with acrylics in my spare time and so that’s my first choice for professions I would love to attempt. And factory worker just sounds shitty so…

I don’t like “fluctuate” because I like words that roll off the tongue, like translucent, fluctuate’s first syllable ruins the word for me. If my mouth wants to make a clicking sound then its not a word thats attractive to me auditorily. Most of my answers are anything but vanilla.

Regardless I don’t know why I’m explaining anything

two middle fingers in the air

And here I am loving the word ‘fluctuate’ because it snaps in your mouth.

Like cricket!

@asmonet : YES. Mouth snappin’ words. Yes…

@Horus515
Now there’s an answer I can get behind! +5.

@Horus515 Flip the bird, baby, smatterchew?

In any event, I humbly accept your explanation and furthermore, appreciate it. It was funny and witty.

Engage.

1. What is your favorite word? anabel
2. What is your least favorite word? chunk
3. What turns you on? happy people
4. What turns you off? people doing stuff just to spite others.
5. What’s your favorite curse word? twonk
6. What sound or noise do you love? music by skillet
7. What sound or noise do you hate? chewing.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? someone who works at google.
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? accountant
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? How come it took you so long?

1. What is your favorite word? My first name (diminutive) as spoken by my mother.
2. What is your least favorite word? My name (formal) as spoken by my grade school principal.
3. What turns you on? Innovation
4. What turns you off? arrogance
5. What’s your favorite curse word? shit
6. What sound or noise do you love? Children laughing and playing
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Automatic gunfire strafing close overhead
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Travel/food Writer
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? commercial hog farmer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Glad you made it. I knew you could!

It’s been a while since anyone answered this, but I love these questions!

1. What is your favorite word? “however” (more in context than just to say)
2. What is your least favorite word? anything misspelled!
3. What turns you on? English accents. Oh my.
4. What turns you off? Willful ignorance.
5. What’s your favorite curse word? “Good god!”
6. What sound or noise do you love? Orchestral/symphonic music
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Styrofoam being cut or metal against teeth or more metal
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Physics work for CERN
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Anything boring or repetitive or irrelevant
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “There’s a giant library of good books off to the left. Off to the right, you can find your entire family. Straight ahead, there’s a place just for you with perfect tea and coffee and scones and muffins, for when you get sick of the books and your relatives.”

1. What is your favorite word? anemone
2. What is your least favorite word? Brangolina and the like
3. What turns you on? wit
4. What turns you off? crassness
5. What’s your favorite curse word? f___
6. What sound or noise do you love? wind through cottonwoods
7. What sound or noise do you hate? elementary band practice
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? illustrator
9. What profession would you not like to attempt? telemarketer
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? welcome home