When someone uses the expression "some of my best friends are -- black, gay, jewish,______" (fill in the blank) do you feel they might be a tad racist?

Yes.

Nope.

~maybe they’re just proud that black people like them.
~~and if that black guy is gay and jewish, well, that’s probably a real feat.

If they say this as a disclaimer- “Now, some of my best friends are black, but…”- then, yes, it sounds racist. If someone has accused them of racism, then this seems like a reasonable defense to make, although the phrase itself has become so cliched, so deeply associated with new age racism that they might want to find a different way to word it. The difference between the two is of course that, if they are bringing it up of their own initiative, as in the first case, then they are clearly very conscious of their friends’ race, more so than would be normal for a truly color-blind person. But of course, there are always exceptions; leaping to judgment on such a thing as this alone would be unwise and perhaps more offensive than the phrase itself.

It gets said in so many different contexts now, one of my favorites is this scenario:

Ted: “I got fucking jewed out that bid.”
Sam: (annoyed but with no patience to hang about) “Some of my best friends are Jewish” (Sam excuses himself and walks away)

I agree with @Jayne.
I often joke that i’m jewish by association, because my best friend is jewish and i’ve had many jewish partners. I don’t know why, it just happens. I can joke with my friends about it, but I’d never go up to a random jewish person and tell them that lol, I’m pretty sure they might kick my ass haha. I’ve never used it as an excuse for ignorance.

@VzzBzz
Ha! I guess that’s ok then lol

@KalWest: someone asked a question the other day on how to politely (kinda) tell another to, “Fuck Off”. heh heh heh

it’s ok as long as you don’t drop a hard J. then it’s wrong.

@eponymoushipster
lol

I hate the expression too and often times I am more convinced they are racist than I was before that remark.

I don’t really have this issue since my best friends are mostly straight, white, and don’t really discuss religion except to say “Thank God” about something. I’ve had friends from all different walks of life in the past however. It never really mattered what they “were”.

Political correctness has made it unpopular to use racial traits as a descriptor but those traits still exist and to pretend they don’t leads to awkwardness.

Every time I hear the phrase “I can’t be racist because I have <insert ethnicity here> friends” that’s usually a pretty solid indicator of racial bias.

as Seinfeld said, “Is it racist if I like that race?”

It irks me, because they are emphasizing the difference [even though they don’t intentionally mean to]. And, they are saying [between the lines] ”See, look, I’m diversified!”

You are certainly not being oversensitive. And among communities of color it is a well-known “joke” used when talking about people who are racist or overly ignorant and don’t realize it. Now I won’t say that is true for all people but I will say you are certainly right about being annoyed over the phrase.

Also there are some bigger issues behind phrases like that. I don’t know that it is appropriate to discuss them in this topic. But basically they have affects that are farther reaching than most of us realize.

I associate more with insecurity.
I agree with Jayne though.

Also, yeah…no hard J’s.

Something else that irritates me is when someone is describing someone, and, so as not to appear racist, whispers the race as though it is a bad thing.

“Today this (looks around shiftily) black woman cut in line.”

Another thing that irritates me is using politically correct speech instead of descriptive speech. Sometimes the news will describe a the perpetrator as an African American when no-one actually knows what their country of origin is. They could very well be African, Haitian, Jamaican, or Dutch for all they know. There is nothing wrong with being black (or any other ethnicity) and people need to stop treating it like a shameful secret. I know this because some of my best friends are black : )

@mrswho

;-)

Oh, I dunno. I think it’s fine for people to say this kind of thing as long as they realize they’re upping the layering of meaning. They need to show that they know they’re spouting a cliche that’s always been used to faux-correctify people who say it. It’s not impossible to do this. I like to use it in counterfeit situations such as
“Some of my best friends are college professors” “Today a (smirks and drops voice to a confidential whisper) Lexus owner cut ahead of me in line” “and then this woman tried to Italian me down on the price”...