If you were/are an atheist and your parent/s sent you holiday cards with Christian messages on them, would you ask them to stop?

No. I also get religious cards from rellies at holiday time. It’s part of who they are. I can’t take such things personally since they otherwise respect my right to my beliefs.

No- I would appreciate that they took the time to try to brighten my day.

My Grandmother once told me: Try not to seek battle on every corner- life is short very very short

I would not ask them to stop. It’s just a card.

No.

However, if they were trying to convert me, we’d be having a little conversation about that.

Many atheists like Frosty the Snowman I would think. Not every Christmas message has a Christian background, right?

No, it’s just a card, they don’t go overboard. It’s not a big deal to me. They aren’t trying to convert me or disrespect my lack of religion. They are trying to share their cheerfulness.

No. Just about all of the holiday cards I get from relatives are religious. My boys have one aunt and uncle on their father’s side who sends religious cards, gifts, videos, magazine subscriptions, games, etc. I roll with it, and like Dog said, try to appreciate the thought.

@Dog, lurve for your grandmother!

It seems to me that this depends more upon your relationship with your parents than on anything else, and what the expected outcome of telling them not to send you religious holiday cards would be.

But if I were an atheist, I doubt I would celebrate Winter Shopping Holiday anyway.

My mom sends me jesus cards, she knows I’m not religious. I don’t mind because the point of a card is to share a bit of yourself with someone, and religion is part of her life.
If her card said “oh come all ye faithless” it wouldn’t be coming from her heart.

At a certain point, if they know your beliefs, doesn’t it become somewhat subtle attempts at converting you, though?

@Jiminez: “At a certain point, if they know your beliefs, doesn’t it become somewhat subtle attempts at converting you, though?”

I would read into it as they are expressing their thoughts for me (being their holiday observance not mine) and try to take it and keep it as that. Like PupnTaco says, if it comes to the point they ask me what I think about their gesture or come on with arguments for conversion then I ask them to just refrain all together.

parents always do stuff like that
my mum kept buying me shaving foam when I had a beard. The more I insisted on not shaving it, the more foams she bought!

I know it’s annoying, but just try and ignore them.

No, it makes me happy that they thought of me. :)

But my mother sometimes tries to give me Chick tracts and the like. That pisses me right the eff off.

@Lefty_the_space_monkey: I would be so happy if my mom gave me Chick tracts. But then, I’d also assume she’d finally come ‘round to my sense of humor.

@EmpressPixie

Have you ever read Dark Dungeons?

@Lefty_the_space_monkey: Oh, you know it. Possibly the best of them all. I am a gamer. So I’m biased.

@EmpressPixie

I couldn’t quit laughing the first time I read it. It was just too good.

I love at the beginning when the DM is just like “lawl, btw, ur ded” and she freaks out.

Seriously just wait a level, the cleric was just one level away from raise dead anyhow. No reason to get all melodramatic and become an hero, right?

:D

@Dog – Your grandmother is a very wise woman.

Absolutely not, but I also don’t understand getting angry with someone for wishing you a Merry Christmas when you’re not Christian. It’s not like they’re INSULTING you in a Christian way….the sentiment is the same no matter what….

No. Just as I don’t get upset at family dinners when they want to hold hands and have prayer. They don’t mean any disrespect by it.

@cak @SuperMouse Many thanks- My grandmother was an incredible woman.

I wouldn’t ask them to stop. Instead I either alter the card to remove the message or when that can’t be done, just note the names and throw away the card.

No, because I know they mean well and they’re wishing me love in the messages. I don’t take it as “preachy” in a holiday card. I accept all love.

No.. it shouldn’t bother you.. either you believe or you don’t.. they just care about you.

No, I wouldn’t be offended. But I send out Pagan Solstice cards, and they get one too. :)

No, I just throw ‘em in the trash with all the others.

Nope. No offense. Would be glad they remembered me.

Of course not. It is nice to get (and send) cards, even if you don’t agree with the sentiments.

Depends on how accepting they’d hypothetically be about my beliefs. If the vibes they gave off was, ‘i totally don’t understand your personally meaningful spiritual path, and am concerned for your soul and want to help ‘set you straight’’, of course that’d be irking and off-putting.

In the past, i was different, but i’ve gotten to the point where i’m cool with them having and occasionally expressing their beliefs. This probably isn’t true for many other non-monotheists, but it wouldn’t be too hard – when i get to the point where i’d be sending out my own cards to everyone – to find ones which express my spiritual sentiments, in a very broad sense of the term.

Otherwise, their freedom to express theirs without thinking twice, and frowning upon my own expression would be annoying.

Off-topic-ish, but does anyone annually get forced in getting your portrait taken (with family), and then someone sending out some silly picture of you out to relatives as a holiday card? There’s so many things people would rather see, which would be more cheery… my little sister’s still cute, which counts as cheery, but why is it so important to show self-pictures to people you hardly ever see, when that’s your only real communication with many of them? Or is it, all the older relatives like to be all ‘oh, look how big s/he’s getting’ to younger people?

I think that would depend on the card and the relative. Unless it’s really pushy I’d probably overlook any religious elements.

On the other hand, my mom just got bonus points for sending a secular Easter card.

Growing up in a less mainstream religion and being a Scout and in public schools where we made “Christmas” cards etc. my mum once told me and my sister that we have no need to battle with people for no reason. If they aren’t preaching conversion to me than I see no reason to be offended. They are sending you cards because they care for you, be glad that you were thought of. My mum always taught us to appreciate the sentiment more than what the stupid piece of cardboard said.

My Mom still tries to get me to go to Church with her… I politely do not accept.

@madcapper, my dad does the same thing. Whenever he is in town he asks if I’ve been going to Mass. I am Baha’i’ and we don’t have church services. We have of course been through this but the old man seems to have a mental block about it.

@SuperMouse I feel ya! it’s just best to politely decline and in my case re-state the fact that I simply do not believe in it and that it would be hypocritical and against who I am to go to church. I just think my poor Mom just wants someone to go with her since none of he rest of my family will either.

Well, considering that my mom and I are both atheist and Jewish, I would just find it a bit weird.

I love secular Jews.

It just seems like a missed opportunity to actually express something meaningful. I don’t care about Christianity at all. I’ve expressed time and time again that I’m a not a Christian and I’m not interested. It just seems like they’re unable to accept that. They are insulting me, in a way. They’re saying (in resmc’s words) “I totally don’t understand your personally meaningful spiritual path.” It’s like they take liberties with me because I’m their son. If they were sending cards to anybody else they knew wasn’t Christian, they would be sure to get a secular card.

Maybe I’m making too much of it, but it’s just kind of insulting.

Naw, its nice to hear from people, even if they are still trapped in that 2,000 year old mythos mindset that seems so important to them. A lot of people I care about believe some really strange shit (even stranger than a god who had sex with a teenage girl to give birth to himself, and then had himself killed so he could raise up as a zombie and save humankind from themselves), I just figure it makes em happy, so who am I to raise a ruckus and piddle on their parade? I just say thanks for the card and go on with my life.

You gotta learn to pick your battles. Pick em with people that DON’T have the option of leaving you OUT of the will. :-)

I get Christmas cards every year. My parents are Christian, but they try to avoid “preachy” cards. Why would anyone be offended by a kind gesture?
Now people that leave Christian literature as tips (whether to atheist servers or not)... I cannot express enough hatred.

@alossforwords

“people that leave Christian literature as tips”

That’s effin’ gross.

not unless they were obviously and disrespectfully trying to ‘convert’ me. the holidays are more or less based around a religious idea, so it would make sense if religious folks sent me religious cards for a religious holiday.

Do you celebrate Christmas or any religion based holiday?

@Kelly27 Christmas and Easter were originally Pagan holidays. The Church decided to paint over them with a Christian celebration. In the same fashion, I celebrate both in a cultural manner, less so in a religious styling.

@alossforwords I am well aware of that, I was asking if he celebrated what are now seen as religious holidays. If you intend to celebrate a holiday that is seen as a religious one don’t be surprised when you happen to see a religious card or two.

I don’t celebrate religious holidays. Secular traditions predominate each of those holidays.

I’d get Mithras, Eostre and Lupercalia cards if I could. People just don’t respect the true meaning for the season anymore.

NO NO NO jiminez! It would be disrespectful….

I would hope that others wouldn’t withhold what they perceive to be good wishes to me for fear of offending me. But that’s probably my responsibility in how I interact with others.

I’m in that boat but it doesn’t bother me. Don’t let your disdain for religion turn into disdain for your family.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic None of you value true communication. That is more important than maintaining a lopsided status quo. I have a pretty open relationship with my parents. If I asked them nicely to please not send me those kinds of cards, they’d comply without a fuss. It’s just because I haven’t brought it up before that they’re still sending them to me. It has nothing to do with my disdain for religion. It’s just a matter of respect. It’s about the law of universality. It should apply to everyone.

@Jiminez – Everyone’s relationships are unique, if the @The_Compassionate_Heretic ‘s family needs to send him spiritual cards it is his decision to let that slide and there is nothing wrong with that. It shows his respect for them, their feelings and his investment in the relationship.

@Jiminez Now that’s a harsh categorization isn’t it? I value communication enough to communicate with my family over things like this so they don’t snowball and cause a rift.

My parents and I have had this discussion and we discussed it calmly and rationally. I know what they believe and they know what I believe. I don’t believe that Jesus was the son of god any more than any of us are but I still visit with them for Christmas and Easter and I enjoy the time I spend with them. At the same time, they don’t give me a hard time about my spiritual belief system. Our spiritual beliefs are not the whole of who we are and it’s not worth fighting over.

Both our beliefs systems suggest that family is important.

@fundevogel But the point is, would asking nicely to not be sent those kinds of cards show a disrespect for them, their feelings and his investment in the relationship?

@Jiminez – I don’t think it’s disrespectful. But I also know saying that to certain people in my family would just cause trouble. They couldn’t accept my lack of belief and I don’t need them to. Sometimes you have to accept a persons limitations in order to maintain a relationship. Whether or not it’s worth asking depends entirely on what sort of person and relationship we’re talking about.

If you really and truly need something your family can’t provide there really isn’t any good way to deal with the situation.

It must be nice to have people put some thought into sending you a card, even if it isn’t up to your acceptable standards. I guess it depends on what aspect of the exchange you consider to be important.

Someone probably already asked this, but do they know you’re an atheist? If they know, it can be viewed as assholish to send you a Christian-themed card. Just as it would be if you sent an atheist-themed cards to someone you know is a devout Christian.

@Amoebic – That seems to be the general consensus.

@Dansedescygnes – Yes, they know. That’s my point. Everyone seems to think there’s nothing wrong with it.

@Jiminez – If this is something you’re specifically facing with your family, you need to to do what’s right for you and your family. What the rest of us do don’t have much to do with that.

curse my careless proofreading.

No. Why should I? Aren’t they entitled to their beliefs as am I? It is simply who they are, I can’t ask them not to believe as I would not expect them to ask me to believe how they believe.

Be thankful they remembered you and wish you well.

I do take personal issues with the hypocrites who spout xtian beliefs when it suits them in my family, but that is another matter entirely. Also, maybe they are looking for a reaction, so they can cry to their other friends ‘oh he/she doesn’t want me sending this anymore, we have to pray for him/her’. Don’t give them the satisfaction.