Would you give your teen a vibrator?

Hell no!

thats gross..

Hellllll yes so I can have some incest time oh yea~!

I have no problem with talking about things with my daughter. None whatsoever. However, I’m sitting her thinking, do I want to buy her a vibrator. I don’t think I’m that progressive.

I’ve never shied away from a question or topic, but I certainly think this is where I might draw the line.

I’d give my teenaged daughter a vibrator. I would imagine she’d die of embarrassment, but if you raised them to be open about sex and not find it “taboo” than I don’t see a problem. I would rather have her engaged in healthy normal relations with herself than thinking that some boy is going to be something special or that she needs some boy to feel good. I think this advice giver is right on the money.

I am so glad my parents never saw the need to give me the talk. The mind shudders at the thought. But to give your daughter a vibrator and explain how to use it? The mental tremors could be measured with a seismometer.

The furthest I would go in regards to the masturbation talk is telling my kids that there’s nothing wrong with exploring their body, but it’s something that’s done in private. I wouldn’t mind if I found her (or his) vibrator, but it wouldn’t come from me.

I don’t think sex should be taboo at all… bodies are normal, sex is a normal occurrence among adults. I would provide condoms/birth control at a certain point, but not masturbation tools.

I did awhile back. Shit, she already has three kids and she just turned 19. Just wish one of those assholes would give her a wedding ring and get her out of my house.

I’d let her know they exist and what they’re for at 16. That seems fair. I wouldn’t want to embarrass her by going with her to get one, though.

@Likeradar
His vibrator…ewww

I want to point out that she recommended only clitoral stimulating vibrators, not huge ones that have anything to do with penetration. If that matters to you guys….I don’t know.

@nayeight
Oprah said ‘clitoral stimulating’? ewwww….

@SeventhSense boys like things that shake too :). I’d feel the same about his special sock or jelly sleeve or whatever

Opinion of a Mother of Boys Ahead

I would give my teenage daughter a vibrator. I would teach her about masturbation and make sure she knows there is nothing wrong with it. I think it would be a good thing to empower a girl with the ability to pleasure herself. It might just keep her from seeking sexual pleasure and experimentation in the arms of a young man and keep me from being a grandmother while my kid is still in her teens.

@Likeradar
special sock LOL. I always just let it fly..i’m such a perv :)

I would buy my daughter the biggest most frightning dildo available in hopes it would scare her from having sex until she is thirty. Seriously though I would talk about masturbation with my kids, but there is no need to give them tools to do the deed. I masturbated my way through the teen years with no help from the parentals and it all worked out just fine.

I’m with @cak
I’m pretty liberal, but I just can’t imagine giving my child a vibrator. I really don’t think, when I talk about sex (when the time comes) to my child, that masturbation will even be a factor. I mean, no one ever talked about it with me, I figured it out and knew it was meant to be done in private lol. I’d only ever bring up masturbation, if I felt my child was having a problem with it..like getting caught in public I guess (i’m thinking like at school)
I think this crosses a line, and it makes a parent more like a friend. I want to be friends with my child, but not that close haha

@drClaw
—Happy Birthday!

@SuperMouse Unfortunately, I don’t think that the actual physical feeling is what drives young girls to have sex. A vibrator can’t fix peer pressure, desire to be loved, feelings of loneliness, etc…

@SeventhSense; Where’s the recharging port? Other than that, seems perfectly reasonable to me ;)

@Likeradar that is all true, but I do think a girl will attain at least some sense of empowerment if she is comfortable with and understands her body, the way it works, and which sensations she finds pleasing. An empowered teen age girl is more confident, a more confident teenage girl is less likely to give in to peer pressure and experience the other feelings you mentioned at such an intense level.

Yeah and while the parent is buying their child a dildo, they may as well go the whole nine and buy that kid some therapy while they’re at it.

I can’t imagine a more awkward moment.

@Jayne
She’ll be prepped for childbirth…of that you can be sure. :)

Perfect for the future teenage sluts of America

@Cardinal are you implying that all teenage girls that masturbate are going to be sluts? What’s your basis for that argument if you are.

@Cardinal Maybe I’m taking you too seriously, but can you explain how masturbation = promiscuity?

I think that the concept behind this is to alleviate awkwardness and taboo, so I guess I don’t understand how this would be awkward.

I would consider it… I’ve always been very open when talking to my children about sexuality. I don’t think I’d actually do it, just because they’d be mortified if I did.

@Cardinal – wow! That’s a leap, don’t you think? Masturbation is a perfectly normal thing. How are you getting promiscuity from all of this?

@Ivan The concept may be to alleviate awkwardness, but in reality, I think it would be very, very, very awkward. My parents were very open about sex, but I’m picturing how the breakfast table would be the morning after they gave me a vibrator… shudder

I say let kids explore themselves on their own, without the influence of their parents.

@Likeradar

OK, good point, but I think the very fact that doing would be awkward is a good argument for doing it. If talking about sex and masturbation is awkward, then perhaps this is a good way to change that.

Wow, there are some great responses on here. I think it can be a good thing. While I’m only 22 and I have no children, I didn’t get a vibrator until I was 17–18 and I was a little embarrassed by it. My friends bought it as a gag gift for my birthday and I casually threw it under my bed as if I were never going to use it but in reality, I was soooo curious. By that time I was in college and had already had sex a few times. I had a roommate that stayed in our dorm room 24/7 so I never really had the time to use it. I hate to say this – because some of you guys know me – but I actually went to the dorm bathroom to use it, every time. I turned the shower on and played my radio to cover up the noise because I was so embarrassed. I had masturbated before when I was in high school but nothing like my vibrator. I really wish I had one in high school because I learned so much more about myself with that thing. Plus my hormones were raging my first time having sex and it was soo bad, really thought something was wrong with me. I can’t imagine my mother giving me a vibrator because of our relationship but I want a different relationship with my kids. I want to talk about sex early (maybe even earlier than 10) and have them come to me for anything they need to know. With the relationship I see (or hope) myself having with my kids, I would have no problem giving my daughter a vibrator, at the appropriate age (15).

@nayeight
Well, you sound like you’ll make a great Mom.

@SeventhSense Wow! Really? Thanks! I really hope so…not too soon though, I need to get through college first.

I’ve given one to two different x g/f’s, with rave reviews and a lot of fun.

I don’t think I would give one to my own child, but I would not be opposed to them getting themselves one (after they reached a certain age).

@SeventhSense OUCH!

I could just see how tis talk would go down…
Mom: “Janie it’s time we taught you a little something about your sexuality, could you turn off the Jonas Brothers CD please?”
Daughter: “Umm ok Mom what’s up?”
Mom: “Well I just wanted to give you this vibrating plastic egg and instruct you on how to give yourself an orgasm.”
Daughter: “Aww Mom your the best! Now I can think about teen idol Zach Effron and get my rocks off!”
Mom: “Well let’s just hope your not a chip off the old block or else you’ll be making quite a mess cause your ol’ Mom is quite the squirter!”

Jesus our society if fucked up… can it Oprah and your nasty sexologist pals.

@madcapper
You’re having too many fantasies ;)

perhaps… haha

My question is: who wants to receive a vibrator from her mom. Ugh. Not me.

@juniper I guess it depends on your relationship with your mom and how she raised you. If my mom wasn’t so weird about talking about sex and old fashioned, i’d be happy to get a vibrator from her because we’d be more open on those topics.

@juniper I agree with @nayeight it depends on the relationship. If my mother gave me a vibrator would I be embarrassed? Probably. Would I be surprised that my mother felt like she could give me a vibrator and have it not be too strange? Not at all. We’re incredibly close as are her and my sister and we have a very open relationship. It wouldn’t phase me too much really.

I’m getting into this discussion rather late.

Some of Oprah’s advice can be pretty moronic, such as suggesting that people can do anything if they want it enough, but in this instance I actually think she might be on to something. I don’t think that giving a child a vibrator is necessary, but certainly teaching them about sex and masturbation is a good idea to promote a healthy outlook on sexuality.

I wouldn’t give one to my grown kids, let alone a teenager.

One conceivable problem is that the daughter would think of her mother every time she used the vibrator.

Or worse, her father.

To seriously answer this question is to justify it with the two letters in No. I’ll give it just the “N”.

@AstroChuck
Spoken like a true perv >)

@AstroChuck I wouldn’t give one to you, even.

No. Talking about sex and having masturbation be ok is fine, but a vibrator teaches how and trains to get stimulated by a vibrator, not by intimate lovemaking with a person.

@Vinifera7 YES! I’ve been sitting around thinking about this question more than I should. I was going to say the exact same thing. I talk to my mom about sex. It’s always been an open topic. But really, thinking “ooh, I’m feeling frisky, time to get out my vibrator… thanks mom!” would be a great way to make me become great friends with my shower head…

I’m not really sure why masturbation needs to be discussed in a family aside from the fact that it’s a healthy and normal thing to do in the right setting. You don’t have to teach a kid to be a safe masturbater (well, I suppose there are exceptions…). Teenagers will figure it out just fine on their own.

@Likeradar
Young males might appreciate some masturbatory tips, such as “avoid using soap as a lubricant because it burns like hell”.

Terrific idea, too bad its a while till Christmas. Maybe I will get a surprise in my easter basket this year?

A parent cannot give their kid a vibrator. It may be a good idea in theory but so is communism and eugenics. For the love of all things holy mom, if you have a secret fluther account please, no thank you. That said if a parent found one that was their daughter’s I wouldn’t bring it up. I would just leave it alone and let her do her thing.

@mrswho – “for the love of all things holy, mom, if you have a secret fluther account, please, no thank you.” My nose is burning from the lemonade that came through it. I have tears rolling down my face, I am laughing so hard. That is the exact reaction I would see my daughter having. like I said above, nope…not buying one for my daughter!

Bringing new meaning to the phrase “Don’t drink and Fluther.”

Oh Oprah! good golly what will we do with you…

I don’t know, I’m not a parent. I bought my first one for myself when I was 19. I think it’s one of those coming of age things: you can vote, buy cigarettes, porn…a vibrator…

If my daughter wanted to talk to me about what I do when I masturbate, I’d consider it a huge breach of privacy. It’s none of her business just like it’s none of mine to know hers. Discussing the subject in abstract is one thing, (“It’s natural, it’s normal, it’s important to learn how our bodies work but be discreet about it, etc etc”) and it’s entirely another to go into detail, provide a prop, and give instruction.

You all know that guy (or girl) who always take a joke just a step too far and says something really not cool? That’s what this strikes me as, in a way.

I would just let vibrator brochures lying around the house and then let her make up her own mind.

I’m not dating a teen, so no.

What kind of a stupid question is that. LMAO! I am just kidding. No, I wouldn’t do that. Sounds a little to personal to me. I recommend instead ballroom dancing.

Young girls learn to trust, and to follow even if they have no idea what is going on.

Young men get to learn how to lead, and also how to touch a woman with respect and would more likely treat them with dignity.

Communication is inevitable, without it you get doctors suggesting a vibrator to supress your kids sexual urges when all they really need is a link to the opposite sex and a way to channel those urges together…like ballroom.

Or you could get the vibrator and make you and your child feel totally AWKWARD!!!

Consider it? Maybe. But only if she brought it up first- the last thing I want is to make her feel awkward. Also, it would depend on the maturity level of my daughter. We’d still have a great big talk about it first.

~I would definitely give a vibrator to my teen. Then I’d cross my fingers that her parents didn’t find out!!~

XD

@Horus515 I love it!!!! LMAO!!!!

Not if they are boys.If they are girls,they have to get their own and I don’t want to know about it.When I was a teen,before I went on my own I was a frequent masterbator,but kept it private.If I had teen daughters I would not encourage nor discourage their use of vibrators,but I’d rather they kept that private.Sneaking it is more enjoyable!

If you give a teen a vibrator, chances are shell want a glass of milk.

@AstroChuck I’d say she’d want a lot more than a glass of milk…

@aviona- I hear ya. She’s gonna want a cookie to go with it.

@AstroChuck And if you give a teen a cookie, she’s gonna want those fuzzy handcuffs…

Likeradar And if you give a teen a glass of milk AND a cookie she’s gonna want me to put my %#%#% on the ^#%$ and turn it around and ^$^$& it and ^%#^&# with a $&*#&!

@AstroChuck, if she has a cookie she’s gonna want some milk. When she drinks the milk she’ll notice she has a milk mustache so she’s gonna want a mirror, when she looks in the mirror she’s gonna notice her whiskers need trimming… (That makes more sense with a mouse doesn’t it?)

@SuperMouse hopefully it makes more sense with a mouse than a teenage girl

@Likeradar and @SuperMouse You’d give a vibrator to a mouse? Freaky! ;-)

@Horus515 Can you translate? All I got was “to put my on the and turn it around and it and with a“English please!

@ru2bz46 it would have to be a little tiny vibrator! Here is a reference that might help this to make more sense: If Your Give a Mouse a Cookie.

@SuperMouse A teenage mouse?

@SuperMouse Ah, gotcha. Though it seems to be about my reading level, I can’t say that I have it in my library. Thanks for the sense-filled link.

@SuperMouse I’m getting the one that says “Where the Wildthings are”

i know i’d feel awkward as hell if my mother gave me one – and she is certainly not old fashioned – so i’d never give my own kid one, if/when i do have kids. i definitely wouldn’t frown upon them getting their own, but i don’t want to create that awkward situation of giving my kid a vibrator. no matter how progressive and whatnot you are, or how close your mother-daughter relationship, i can’t imagine that the awkward weirdness would be avoidable in most cases.

There no way I would or could do that. It would be awkward for her and me both. I would think she probably wouldnt even be able to use it cause in the back of her mind she would be thinking ewww my mom got me this.

@ShauneP82 : Young girls learn to trust, and to follow even if they have no idea what is going on.
Young men get to learn how to lead, and also how to touch a woman with respect and would more likely treat them with dignity.

In what world is teaching a young girl to blindly follow those who intend to lead her a good situation?

I don’t have a problem with Ballroom dancing, just the concept of thinking it’s a good idea to teach young girls to blindly follow anyone. Why not teach them to be strong, independent and capable of blazing their own path?!

@adreamofautumn – I agree and I would suggest a couple of years of martial arts training for all young women. I would also recommend self esteem and assertiveness training for all cheer leaders and junior baton twirlers.

I would not give it to her, but i’d do my best to let her have her own things that i do not know of, and if i find it i won’t tell her. Her sex life is none of my business as long as it’s nothing extreme. (you know, like hooking up with a guy 10 years older than her. Should i allow that?

Just to get this from another angle
Is there any teen daughters here that could answer to the following; Would you want to get a vibrator from your parents and how would you react?

@Horus515
Easy killer

@wilhel1812 Ugh. I would have DIED. And never, ever, ever used it.

I don’t really see the harm. Depending on the basis of the mother-daughter relationship (assuming if this exchange was to work, the mother would be more involved than the father) prior to the “gift”, of course. If my Mum had given me a vibrator or masturbation talk in high school I would have gladly excepted. We vaguely talked about sex, she knew when I lost my virginity, and now we talk rather openly about my sex life, but when I lived under her roof, I was embarrassed about masturbating. So, moral is, if she had given me a vibrator it would have made me more comfortable definitely.

eww no!

If he asked for one, yes.

@breedmitch
he?

No, im sure if i had a child he or she wouldnt want to be reminded of me when they masturbate or play.

Yes I would buy my child a vibrator, and as far as the talk I will probably explain sex to them as soon as possible for them to understand it…..

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. No daughter of mine would get a vibrator or anything of the sort from me. I would start “the talks” around age 6. Don’t know the details of what I would say at that young age but they will know babies even them came from mommies and daddies and not any stork or found in a cabbage patch, every 6 months or so they will get a refresher about it with additions. If we are watching TV together and the ubiquitous bedroom scene comes up will be a chance for a mini lesson. By the time they are 11yrs old they will know 100% of the mechanics of where babies come from. Then all I have left is to emotional side and how to be responsible and ethical.

As an adult, I would not give a minor any sex toy. That is illegal.
I would however, give them some kind of vibrating “back massager”, like the one I had when I was (way too) young.

This is just a creepy question.

@Ron_C Haha, I know but it was on my mind….

I @nayeight I ended up at this question because I was answering another about if you think it is o.k. to let you kids have sex at home. I think I was overloaded. I still can’t think about this.

Yes… And did. Gave our Daughter one at 16! She might be young but she has Primal Needs Too!

Wow. THAT is too much, even for my standards.

I mean, talking is fine, even flat out telling your daughter to masturbate would be, if a little awkward, acceptable. And certainly something i would do.

Then again i don’t think i’d need to tell her, since i’d never tell her not to to begin with.

But actually buying her a vibrator? i don’t know, seems to me it has some latent electra complex symptoms. Then again i’m male, i’d be the father giving his daughter a vibrator… If i was female i’d have much less problems with it, just as i think a mother would have reaitvely more problms talking about wanking to his son.

Also i disagree that it should be a clitoral stimulator. For two main reasons:

a) in my experience vaginal sensibility can be “trained” so to speak, at least partially, so why dscurage that, and
b) because wether you buy it or your daughter does SHE should pick it. It’s her vagina, afterall.

@Thammuz ; We got her one that has many attachments available.

@phil196662 You’re my favourite parents, ever.

My parents never gave me the talk. But I never had sex until I was 18.. because I decided that.
And I wasn’t “touching myself”, either.
This discussion is totally spinning my head haha

@Thammuz ; Parents need to realistic because kids are gonna find out eventually so you might as well beat it to the punch before there friends give them conflicting information. Our daughter started menstruating at 12 and at times just could not sit still in a chair so the wife just asked her directly and she blushed because she was 13. The wife told her it was ok and just tell and then we went out and got her a dildo and a basic vibrator and then her grades shot upward because she was calmer in class.

The vibrator in this thread is an upgrade and the first time she used it we thought she had injured herself from the shreaking screams coming from her room!

@phil196662 Wait. Am I missing something here? Your 13 year old daughter needed to masturbate so badly that she couldn’t sit still in a chair? And she couldn’t figure out what to do until her parents got her a dildo? What does when she got her period have to do with any of this?
Something about your post is striking me as very creepy and made-up.

@Likeradar Agreed. I’m a little disgusted.

@Likeradar What does when she got her period have to do with any of this?

Wow. You fail anathomy forever. O_O

With menstruation come biological urges since you’re biologically ready to have children. It scares me hat someone in the 21st century can NOT KNOW something like this.

@phil196662 Lol at that votes thing. Talk about a collateral bonus!

@Likeradar ; When she turned twelve hormones kicked in and she became weirdly moody and spacey, she said her body felt weird all the time so we took her to the doctor. Her blood work was all over the map so we had to change her diet and when she stabilized she would get wild for week before menstruating so the wife discovered if she got to know herself it helped allot and when we were shopping for toy’s she asked for a small vibrator to try and her grades shot up to A+‘s…

Children mature at early ages these days and many of our friends often don’t understand that it can be real simple to solve, parents need to sometime come to the reality that there young adults are growing up!

ok? Gee, teens have puberty… Sometimes people are too ashamed to talk about reality and how the problem was dealt with…

Teens do drugs too? And _how_are we keeping them form starting???

At least my daughter now 16 has not gotten pregnant or flunked classes or wrecked the car or gotten raped or arrested or tattooed or cut classes or _ viewed stuff that is inappropriate for her age_…

Parenting is not perfect but being truthful with your child should be the most important thing in there life. I really didn’t mean to offend anyone by being creepy but being truthful should have some weight around I would think!

@Likeradar Seems to me that’s the topic. It’s not like he gave us her address or anything, it’s just information about a single case that he witnessed firsthand, we don’t know who he is so the difulgement (sp?) of the info is inconsequential to her as much as it is to him.

My boyfriend bought me a vibrator when I was 19 years old, for when he’s too tired from work. That’s a normal way to recieve a vibrator. You should NEVER buy your daughter a vibrator, when she needs one she’ll go buy one herself we all know were the local sex shop is. And if you’re too embarresed to go buy yourself a dildo you’re not ready to use one.

A real dick is way better, and you could end up like @Violet no offense honey with almost no feeling in your clit and not being able to come during actual intercourse, when you have one that’s too much or too strong. The vibration could be too strong and she’ll get used to it. So better if she sticks to her hand/fingers.

One thing though, I never experieced with sticking random objects down there, but the stories I’ve heard.. I mean.. I’m glad I waited for real thing bc it can actually be dangerous. I wouldn’t buy my child a vibrator but I would explain the dangers of using random objects down there, bc I saw on 1000 ways to die, that this girl used a cucumber or something and she died bc she maneged to cut herself inside with that object, hit a vain, and died almost emediatly after bc air went into her blood/vain or something.

@whyigottajoin most likely “or something” since there are no major veins that i know of near the inside the vagina

@Thammuz I guess she had some really bad luck.

I think I wouldn’t, because just like violence, sexuality is something that makes you mature tremendously as you progressively discover it for yourself.

I think in the end, even though the rationale of guiding your offspring in yet another crucial area of life is tempting, the child would benefit much more in the long run from being left to discover these things on his or her own.

I think just being there and making sure your teen knows he or she can talk to you about these things is sufficient. If (s)he feels the need to get help or answers, you’ll be there, and if (s)he doesn’t, you avoid a lot of awkwardness.

@TheBot You’re a 100% right, some things should be left alone, so they can discover for themselves.

@whyigottajoin Thanks! :-)

@whyigottajoin ha ha, no offence taken. You actually make a really good point. However, I I think a simple non-vibrating dildo is much safer and healthier for younger teens, and even pre-teens.

@Violet Okay I’m glad =P Yea I think so too, one with no vibration would be best for youngsters.

@whyigottajoin @Violet: I have to agree with that, like with medication, start from the bottom and work your way up until you find something strong enough.

Every time this thread pops up in my queue, I’m still thinking of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…” :/

I think the same thing…

@aprilsimnel could you fill the cultural gap, please?

It’s a children’s book about the overwhelming consequences of giving a mouse a cookie/biscuit.

@aprilsimnel so if you give your teen a vibrator she’s gonna have sex and then go back to her vibrator?

I don’t think I could out of respect for her. Unless she asked for one….maybe. I’m not afraid to talk about sex or masturbation, I’m open to almost anything.

Wow. Kinda surprised at all the negative responses. Especially the ones commenting on the “embarrassment factor”. If you can’t talk to your 15/16 year old about a vibrator without embarrassing them…. there might be an issue there. I think so at least. If they won’t wanna talk to you about a vibrator, they sure as hell aren’t gonna want to talk to you about thinking of having sex for the 1st time, birth control, STD concerns, etc. So yeah, I’d be all for it. And the lady was specifically saying just a clitoral stimulator…. not the full on fake penis. So what’s the harm in that??

Kids already think their parents are embarrassing when they’re 15, 16. That’s what I meant, anyway. I didn’t want my guardian around for anything; I wanted her to go away, especially if it was going to make me look completely uncool. I wasn’t embarrassed to talk to her about sexual topics, but those chats were in private.

A lot of teenage girls aren’t going to want to go with their mom or dad to a Toys In Babeland shop.

I did for my daughter and it was a very positive conversation. Afterwards she wanted to try so we shopped online together for one. I think its a good healthy alternative compared to picking up some std or pregnancy.

My husband gave my daughter 4 dildo-vibrators and even shared his own sex toy with her, now he’s facing 30 years imprisonment for 2 counts of sexual battery against her. He also told me he was in love with her and told her the same. It took me a year to get the courage to call cps but Im glad I did even though our family is destroyed. Things probably would have gotten worse. CPS only responded to my call because of the sex toys. My husband got off on supplying her with them. Watch out do NOT give your child sex toys they need to figure things out on their own.

@eryn97531 kind of a huge difference between what is being talked about in this thread and your situation. I am sorry you are having to deal with this, all the best to you and your daughter.