Why do we make judgments on outward appearances?

Ah! you saw the Paul Potts video… that guy is awesome… Why do we judge the book by the cover, because we cannot stand to see our own flaws in others… that makes us remember how imperfect we all are…

@flameboi well said. well said. watch the video. enchanting! if it’s the only response to this question on this subject, well said… thanks!

@charliecompany34
:) thank you
I remember I cried (no kidding) the first time I saw it… it takes your breath away…

@flameboi i cried too. it is a heart-tugger! no, weeped. still trying to be hard, you know—testosterone. never show emotion we men always say.

@charliecompany34
True, we all try to be hard, but there are little things that makes us see how wrong we were…

i believe people do but thats what makes it special when the person is something completely different thats how people leave their mark.

i know a guy who looks young but is actually 45 years old. he gets carded all the time and even draws attention to himself while driving or walking thru a mall. he is not overweight and is short stature as though a high-school kid himself. people are surprised to find out he is almost 50 and they treat him differently when they discover.

Judging on looks is a survival trait that is built into our genes. In the development of mankind people with this trait were the ones that survived long enough to have babies.

The answer to this question is the same as the answer to why we judge at all. To understand something/someone, a human must categorize that thing to: help form connections between old and new information and also be able to relate/compare that person to themselves. Everyone judges people whether they admit to it or not. The capacity with which they judge and how much they rely on their initial impression is different based on life experience. Judging based on outward appearances, though unfortunate, is a common method because people form their impressions within seconds. In that time, you only get to see the physical side of that person. To judge someone based on their “inner person”, you need to spend some time with them to get to know them. And most of the time, that’s not an option.

This is actually one of the cooler things about online social networking such as on Fluther. You first learn about a person’s mind and then perhaps later on get to see what they look like. That way, you judge them on what truly matters.

Our penchant for judgment stems from our own need to seek approval and to relate to those around us. It is a basic human sentiment to want to belong to a group and to do this we seek out those which fit into said group for any particular reason… hence we search for our own traits in others. If we find them or not will influence our first impression and opinion of said person. This is where we initially and subconsciously judge others.
If we bring the rationalization process into it after the fact we can get past our initial impression and in some cases find something we never expected… or never knew we wanted.

don’t judge me.. i’ll cut you

@PnL well said. did you see that susan boyle video on youtube? your answer totally defines what you wrote!

i mean, all the smug faces on the dais and in the audience. people just wanted to “BOO” and “HISS” without checking the tires or looking under the hood. you know?

because it’s the first thing we see

As humans our vision is generally our first point of perception regarding people.

@charliecompany34 i saw that video last night and i must say… if that video can’t make you smile then you are dead inside.

i have to say it. i have to go here.

many times in life, we lose out on the best thing (meaning a man or a woman) that could ever happen to us or cross our paths because we look on the outward appearance.

i remember a girl in high school that seemed to adore and love the ground i walked on. she wore glasses and was skinny. she lived in a run-down neighborhood. i remember her giving me her address and i acted like i did not know where it was.

if i saw her today, she’d probably recognize me before i knew her. long story short, she was actually cute, but i saw the skinny and the glasses and wrote her off.

i realized she was cute years later. somebody else saw what i saw and married her.

i should have known back in high school when we were in literature reading shakespeare plays that she could one day be my wife.

i was so naive.

I saw the youtube video too. I saw the people in the audience rolling their eyes, snickering, and the judges acting bored. I watched as this woman came out in a dress that was obviously her sunday best, and I too, smiled when she walked out. By the time the video was over, I was crying. This middle aged woman admitted to the world that she has never been kissed.

@chyna u saw what i saw! i love you!

I saw, and can’t get it out of my mind. I hope by now she has been kissed many times.

@charliecompany34 – I did see the video a few days ago. But I didn’t see anything talking about her never being kissed or the audience’s reaction. I must go search for a longer version of this event now.

Yahoo had it on last night. Don’t know if they still do.

@PnL that was chyna earlier in the thread on her opinion. she was saying she’d probably never been kissed before. if you go to the youtube video on susan boyle, you’ll she what she means.

i think what chyna was saying is simply susan’s delivery is pure and pristine. she is singing from her heart and the outward appearance seems like she is just another old chick that we can laugh at and ridicule.

see simon’s first reactions whne she gets on stage as well as the audience…

@charliecompany34 I found the video on Youtube but don’t know how to link it. She says in the beginning when being interviewed she has a cat, never been married and never been kissed. (when you type in her name on youtube, the first video of her has the interview.O

go to susan boyle at youtube.

@PnL Did you find it? If so, what did you think?

Some of the worst people I know are beautiful…on the outside.
Some of the best people I have ever met are not (classically) attractive, but I love them.
Gotta keep an open mind…which ultimately defines civilization, now that I wax philosophical.

The trait in itself is not a bad thing. I think it is instinctive to make fast judgments based on very little information. No doubt it is an adaptive trait, important to survival. When the guy coming toward you might just as well cut your throat as look at you, when the snake has a pattern you’ve learned to avoid, when the grass ahead in your path moves a certain way, you don’t ponder the subtleties. You just act.

How do you handle yourself when you’re driving at freeway speeds? You have to make quick judgments, and you learn to get out of the way of the erratic drivers, the speed demons, the nut cases, and the jerks. You don’t have time to get to know them, find out why they’re angry or upset and maybe today isn’t their best driving day. You just do what you have to do for your own safety.

As civilized creatures we can and should learn to go beyond the superficial. We can use more of our brain than the part that reacts to the rapid approach of something with sharp teeth. I think we are very foolish if we don’t. But that snap-judgment response is basic and understandable, and I don’t see that we ought to condemn it or try to unlearn it.

@chyna – yes I did finally get the chance to see it tonight. This is the link to the video + interview in case anyone has yet to see it. It is an inspirational story and I wish her the best of luck in her new career.

What blew me away was how instantly the whole audience learned. They were clapping, cheering, on their feet before she’d sung ten notes. The clip did show Simon rolling his eyes a little while he was interviewing her (she didn’t shine in that context), and an well-turned-out teenaged girl making ironic faces, but once SB sang, everyone got it. Everyone.

Because that’s initially all we have.

Because like it or not, appearance matters.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. We as humans are hard wired that way. We are predisposed to having things symmetrically balanced and pleasing. That goes to everything, not just what a person appeared like. If you were at a restaurant and you and 3 other friends had your food comes to the table if you and another friend ordered the same dish but yours cam with the peas is slopped in to the mashed potatoes which is also slopped partly over the entrée you’d more than likely complain about how the plate was made. In the end once you started eating it, the appearance of the plate is moot. The appearance of the food means nothing the once you start eating it and once it is in your body, it all gets mixed together. It just looks more appetizing when it is arrange on the place nicely.

If you were on a business trip and you were in two groups and had to take rented cars to wherever, if you had the choice of a newer shinier car or an older less glamorous model most would gravitate 1st to the newer model, even if it didn’t have as good A/C or the radio didn’t pick up as well as the older model. Shinier and newer equals better.

No difference when it comes to humans, a guy dressed sharply in a 3 piece suit will be seen more educated or successful than a guy in cargo shorts and a over-sized jersey top. A woman like this will dozens of times be seen as more attractive than this. When people meet up with strangers at a mixer and BBQ few are thinking “that geeky guy over their looks like he has a very interesting personality and riveting conversation”, or that plain Jane that she has a great bubbly attitude and laugh, people are sizing up who they can see themselves long-term with or at leas the next few months which these days means sex is the ultimate goal. So if the person is not pleasing to the eye it is hard to be pleading to the loins.

Want to test it out? Here is a test, next time you have a function where there will be young people there bakes some small pies but make one slightly bigger and flakier than the others but only put half the filling and make the filling not near as sweet. Just off how it looks I bet most will angle to get it, even though they have no ideal how it will ultimately taste. If it looks the best it has to be the best. Same with humans…..just the way we are wired. It is our own individual gumption that can override that.