Is it possible I don't have a clitoris?

Possible, but unlikely. How old are you? Have you ever been to see a gynecologist?

I don’t think this can be answered remotely. What does your gynecologist say?

This cannot be serious.

I’m 20 and I’ve never been to a gynecologist, and I only mean is it possible to not have one. I’m not asking if I don’t have one, you of course couldn’t know that.

It’s recommended that women start having a yearly “well woman” exam with a gynecologist (pap, breast exam, and a couple other simple things) at age 18, whether sexually active or not, so you’re due for a trip to the gyno anyway. Why don’t you ask her about it?

but you probably do, it’s “dormant” state is to be very small, and if you don’t really know what you’re looking for, you might not know where it is (I couldn’t find mine at first either). You might also check out sex therapist Dr. Betty’s website. She has a lot of tips for exploring your body.

I can’t see one, because my mother would of course have to know, and nothing good can come out of that.

If you, heaven forbid, had cervical cancer, breast cancer, or another serious condition, even at your young age these are possible, then something very good would come out of it, you would be treated, and if (heaven forbid) your life was in danger, it could be saved. I think that that’s “something good”. Don’t you?

These type of things are much more common than you would think. I had a breast lump removed when I was 19.

Do you go to University?

Usually, colleges have a “Health Service” or “Student Health” type of program that’s already included in tuition, so it’s free to go there, and they’re required by law to keep it confidential from everyone, including your parents (for students 18 and older). You might look into that.

Your mother would not have to know anytime after age 16. Try Planned Parenthood.

actually, the exact age depends on the state you live in. In Alabama (I believe) and several other states, under age 18, they’re required by law to notify the parents. Not that it matters in this case, since she’s 20.

good to know, i thought that might be the case but didn’t bother researching because as you said at age 20 it wouldn’t matter. In Oregon it is age 16 (actually I think it could be 14) or above

Your mother should have already arranged for you to go to the ob/gyn. You need not be sexually active to need a well woman exam, so even if she knew you were going she doesn’t need to know why. In any event, I’m sure you could manage to get to planned parenthood without her knowledge.

PS: You probably do have one, and when you find it, you’ll be so happy you did!

I’ve never heard of not having one. Maybe if you were born a man.

Intersexuality in humans refers to intermediate or atypical combinations of physical features that usually distinguish male from female. An intersex organism may have biological characteristics of both the male and female sexes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersexuality

Androgen insensitivity syndrome (AIS) is a set of disorders of sex development caused by mutations of the gene encoding the androgen receptor. Patient advocacy groups for AIS and other intersex conditions have increased public awareness of these variations, helped revise the understanding of gender identity, emphasized the value of accurate and sophisticated information for patients, and induced physicians to re-evaluate the effectiveness of the surgical corrections attempted in past decades.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgen_Insensitivity_Syndrome

Sit down in front of a mirror.

Spread legs.

Go exploring.

If you’re starting at the top of the pubic mound heading down, it’s gonna be a tiny little pea sized knob of tissue. It’s front and center. You may have to move things around a bit to get a good look at it, but if you explore…you’ll know it when you find it.

NSFW: Here is a giant picture of lady parts, with notes and arrows and everything labeled.

Now, more importantly…

You are due for a gyno appointment, this isn’t something you want to put off. And your mother is a woman too. She’s failing you by not making you go and apparently making you so uncomfortable with the idea as to put your health at risk.

You’re twenty, if you need something done for your life and your health you man the hell up and you get it done. You are too old to have your mother dictate what you can and cannot do for yourself medically. Even if it’s embarrassing for you or awkward, think how ‘embarrassed’ you feel with cancer or infertility because of your own lack of initiative.

If you honestly can’t go to your mother, or your father or a sister, an aunt, a cousin or a friend… Swipe your insurance card, find a doctor in the network, grab some money for the copay and work it out.

I’m kind of pissed off and put off by the reactions of some people in this thread. Grow the hell up, and leave @hug_of_war alone.

@Mr_M: I posted a picture that would best serve to help the original poster.
It is not my fault if you are too immature at twice my age to keep your crude comments to yourself.

Clearly, this girl is having a problem. And you have no right to make light of the help she is given when you yourself have contributed none.

This is not the first time your jokes have been offensive to others, as I’ve been spoken to about a few of your comments in the past. Know that this was not the time or place.

Unless you are a medical doctor and knew you had something to contribute to the conversation I have no idea what would compel you to come here and answer in the first place. Except to make jokes or as part of some childish need to see what the girls talk about.

At best your comment was tasteless, unhelpful and inappropriate.

The same goes to a lesser extent to you, @Triiiple.
You both should know better.

@asmonet, First let me say that if my post offended you or anyone I apologize. That was never the intent. The intent was to make you laugh. Personally, I think posting a photo was not the best idea. Suppose an actual photo of a penis was posted. What do you think the reaction would be?

Having said that, I suggest to YOU that until the day comes that you universally apply your “moderator wanna be” rules to EVERYONE and not to just select individuals like myself and Triiiple, then you say NOTHING to anyone and leave the moderating to the moderators who know how to. Your “wanna be” moderating has also irritated the heck out of many on Fluther as well (as I have been spoken to about). If you think any of my posts are offensive, report them to the mods. Let THEM tell me. No one has told me anything yet.

NO ONE made light of the problem. How do you say that? If my joke offended you or anyone, again I apologize. But I also know that many seem to like my comments, since most of my lurve comes from people’s responses to them.

I am hardly a wanna be moderator. I gave you my opinion because I thought you should know how you were being viewed by others as you didn’t seem to get the message.

I don’t think there would be a reaction, at least not from mature viewers – and generally no one directs the comment at particular users. There was a warning tag. I did not randomly link to genitalia for funsies.

Three women took issue with your comment.
I just spoke directly to you about it. There is nothing in the rules against me doing so. And whether or not you can recognize it, you made light of the issue at hand without reason and without offering any advice.

I’ve said what I thought needed to be said, and if you have any further comments please send them to me directly. I won’t derail this thread further.

And I wanted YOU to see how YOU were being viewed as well. Thanks.

To the subject at hand: It’s entirely possible that your clitoris is smaller than average, thus gets “lost” in the clitoral hood and labial folds. Both male and female embryos develop a nub of tissue in the same spots. In males, that nub of tissue grows into the head of the penis and the skin surrounding it becomes the forskin. In females, the nub becomes the clitoris and the skin surrounding it becomes the clitoral hood. But until the stage of fetal development where sex-specific hormones kick in, those parts of the anatomy are identical.

If it’s possible for infant males to be born with a micropenis (indicating that a shortage of hormones were produced in utero during the stage of development when these organs are being formed), it stands to reason that something similar could occur in women in which their clitorises (what an awkward word) may not develop to full size, and thus be harder to find and/or stimulate.

@hug_of_war: When you touch yourself down there, and you should be, do you find any spots that are really sensitive and one in particular that would have a slightly nubby feel to it? Like a moist pencil eraser. You might want to use some saliva on your finger; lubrication makes everything easier to locate.

Sometimes you have to spread the labial folds aside. Use asmonet’s giant picture of lady parts as a blueprint.

@gailcalled I do see this nubbish thing, but it seems to low to be my clitoris. I thought it was supposed to be at the top, but what I see is midway down. I tried finding where my inner labia end, but they are so small I can’t use them as a reference point.

Forget looking for now. Use your fingers to discover what feels good; who cares where it is. Can you push one damp finger gently into your vagina? Gently is the key. Get oriented by braille.

thank you very much @gailcalled for the advice

[mod says:] Off topic remarks removed. Also, remember to respect the OP and the question by not making crude jokes especially before the matter is resolved.

@casheroo: The clitoris is actually a small version of a penis. In transgender individuals, the most common method of male to female surgery is to actually move the penis further into the body, so the the tip of it barely protrudes from the body, the same way a clitoris does.

I love you, but the idea that if someone didn’t have a clitoris, they might have been born a man couldn’t be further from the truth. Not to mention being offensive to @hug_of_war.

I wish people understood what kindness or empathy mean. A lot of the responses on this thread really surprised me.

@La_chica_gomela I wasn’t saying it to be mean. I meant they could have been born with both sex organs, and the parents chose the female. It’s not that outlandish, is it?

@casheroo: Yes, it is. Like I said in my original post, if you read it, you will realize, that if that was even true, then chances would be that the person would have a bigger clitoris, not no clitoris.

Wow, I’m glad I didn’t see what was moderated and removed, people can be so full of “suck”, sorry hug.

I’m going to echo what many have said and suggest you find a free or reduced fee clinic and start having gyno exams so you and your doctor can go over what’s normal and healthy with your body now to be able to tell if something seems off in the future.

@hug_of_war: The clitoris on every woman is going to vary in size, sensitivity and to a lesser extent placement. If you feel a nubby thing, and you rub it gently and it feels inexplicably good – that’s it.

Enjoy!

Often young girls discover their clitoris and surrounding sensitive tissue when they hit puberty and the hormones kick in; simply walking, starting to have fantasies or looking at a cute guy generates pleasurable sensations in the area of the vulva. One’s hands just naturally want to explore down there.

@hug_of_war May I ask what your heritage, race, and religion you and your parents are?

Ahhh—@filmfann—you may be onto something.

@filmfann african-american and they are christian

have they always been christian?

And were you born in America?

And were they?

What happens when you ask your mother if you can see a gynecologist?

Okay, apparently we lost you for the moment. If your parents were ever Muslim, Hindu, or from that part of the world, they may have believed in, what is tactfully refered to as, female castration. If they were born American and always Christian, this is very unlikely.

Actually FGC is seen in Islam and some other faith systems but it has nothing to do with Hinduism at all. In fact, “Circumcision is absent from the Hindu-Buddhist and Confucian traditions, and in general the Christian church has no specific doctrine about it.” source

But it is practiced in a number of African nations and especially among Muslim populations even if it is not explicitly advocated by Muslim faith. If a person’s parents were reared to believe in the practice, they might go ahead with it even with a child born in the U.S. It is not beyond possibility. Especially if it was performed on them, or, that is to say, on the mother. But it would not have been done legally, of course. So there might be a lot of reticence about having the young woman seen by a doctor if that were the case. So—not saying that it is true in this instance, just that it can be imagined.

Gee, I feel like House. Where’s my vicadin?

@Jeruba – I got his point, I was just explaining that it isn’t a part of Hinduism at all. =]

@PnL, I understand. I wasn’t rebutting you at all, just amplifying his comments.

@casheroo & @La_chica_gomela bot h of you have valid points to some extent but are taking a narrow viewpoint. I suggest you look into both pseudohermaphroditism and genetic mosaicism to better understand the other’s OIV. It is possible for a huan being to be orn with both sets of genitalia and it is also possible for these to be underdeveloped or overdeveloped depending on the specific gene loci affected. Both of you can be right and wrong at the same time. Just an FYI. Both are possible, neither negates the other.

“OIV” = ?

sorry… i meant POV… typo

Have you tried masturbating at all? Take a night to yourself, do something (fantasize, etc) to get you in the mood, dim the lights and just start rubbing down there (around the clitoris area – refer to photos linked above). Just a bit of pressure, some circular motion, to get it started. It takes a few minutes the first time to feel anything at all. Just keep doing it and if you start feeling something goooood then obviously you have a clitoris. If you don’t, then that doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t have one either. Go to the doc. We all look different down there. I’m sure you have one.