What would you do if you were 32,a single mom, career woman and had no significant other?

Seeing my mom’s boyfriends come and go really messed me up when I was younger. I would get attached because my dad wasn’t around and then when they would break up I was devastated. If you do date, just try to find a good guy who will stay. I know you don’t have total control over that but maybe you might want to wait for your son’s sake?

Be open to whatever comes your way that doesn’t jeopardize the time and relationship that you have with your son and your job.

you should call me ;)

no, really…find someone who shares similar interests, perhaps someone who is also a single parent, with a child around the same age. It has worked for me (and sorry, it’s not so much that I’m taken, it’s just that I’m too far away. I’m sure you can find someone closer).

My last gf (I still call her my gf even though we never see each other nowadays) is 31 and has a 4-y-old daughter. We got along fine while we were together, even though our daughters were very jealous of each other. We spoke a variety of languages to each other, just to make things even more complicated. All in all it was a great experience though, and I am sure she’d say this relationship helped her back on her feet, helped her daughter socialise and overall did her good.

On the other hand, don’t do anything if you’re not ready. It took me 2 years to even look at another woman after my wife was gone, and another year before I had a relationship. So if you think you need more time, take it.

You’re at a great dating age though :)

@qualitycontrol got a good point there. When I was younger, I dated a single mother who had a 3-y-old boy. She generally kept her relationships secret, which I think is the way to go about it, even later. There’s no need for your son to know every little detail about every guy you had a one-night-stand (or a casual coffee) with.

Overall, I still believe that woman was a great mother (regardless of a series of other faults she had). We dated long enough to start talking about marriage, and so she decided to introduce me to her son, and we bonded. It was very hard on him when we broke up, and he still thinks about me sometimes. He had a good relationship with his dad, and I was the first “other” man she’d introduced him to.

My gf’s daughter likes her dad, but never gets to see him (he’s generally too busy and doesn’t care enough). She is very attached to me and often calls me “dad”, but I always correct her and have pushed her away as much as possible, especially after I found out that the 4 of us could not live in the same city anymore.

Keep your love life separate from your kid.

Be honest with yourself about your needs (not just physical, of course) and recognize that it’s okay to get them met. Just do it in a way that allows you to still meet your responsibilities and maintain good boundaries. If you decide to, put yourself out there as someone who has time and resources to do a casual relationship, but no more for now. You might meet a dad who’s in the same boat, who knows.

Side note. I jumped into a relationship with a single mom with two kids and grew more attached to the kids that I did her, which played out badly. That’s why I recommend keeping it separate. I think any worthy guy would respect you for that.

I don’t know who my parents are dating until they’ve been together a long time, and I’m 20, not a child. I just think it’s best to be established before they become a part of your child’s life.

@hug_of_war

that’s very true…a mistake that many dating moms make is introducing the guy waaay too early to the child. don’t do that until you’re SURE that you guys have a definite possibility of being together. It’s difficult for a child to meet so many different guys and father figures, only to have one by one go if it didn’t work out. :(

Date. You deserve it. (but take kevbo and seekingwolf’s advice to heart)

Hooray for babysitters.

I would dance the Happy Dance!