Parents/Caretakers: How do you walk the fine line between wanting your children to explore vs. not wanting them to touch things that are too dirty, germy, disgusting, repulsive to you?

you said it yourself

1. public bathroom with the danger of catching something deadly – stay away.

why would I even let my daughter play in a public bathroom? I’d just help her pee and take her out again, I never even let her step on the floor, I hold her about a foot over the toilet seat and dress her in the air.

2. home – try to keep it cleanish and let her play with anything.

I’ve had two strict rules:
a) she’s not allowed anywhere near cables (partly because I sometimes record stuff at home and I have microphones and so on everywhere, but mainly so that she stays away from electricity cables).
b) she’s not allowed to step on asphalt unless an adult is holding her hand. She makes a point of running to the edge of the pavement and raising a foot over the street, but not letting it touch until I get there. Her little naughty trick to drive me nuts (but I trust her).

I am very strict about these rules, and let her do whatever else she wants. Usually she’s well-behaved though. My place is generally full of soft toys, and if she makes a mess she knows she’ll have to clean up later, so she doesn’t generally break stuff (at least not willingly). She once broke a glass bowl and got startled (must have been around 1 at the time) and she’s stayed away from glassware ever since. And ever since she could crawl, I’d let her move about and even have little accidents in controlled environment (as in falling from the couch onto the carpet) so that now she’s got a pretty good balance and co-ordination, and is generally very careful. But of course you always need to keep an eye on them.

I usually give my almost 2 yr old son lots of space. If he gets a cold, he gets a cold. The ones he’s gotten he actually picked up from me or his dad. The sickest he’s been was after staying overnight at his chain smoking grandmother’s house. Now if it was a public bathroom, I’d tell him that if he touches the floor or potty he has to wash his hands. I’ve been lucky, though- he’s never been into putting things in his mouth. That makes a difference. I think I’m more paranoid about him electrocuting himself or being badly injured or something.

I actually took him for his first haircut recently, and we went to Cartoon Cuts where there are toys in the waiting area and tv’s at the hairdresser stations… there was this mom waiting beside us who was absolutely freaking out about her little girl touching the toys. I think I laughed out loud at one point. I mean, if you don’t let her get sick sometimes, her first flu is going to kill her!

Some of the most interesting things in life are gross. Gross is fun, especially to kids! There are dangerous gross things, and gross things (to us adults) that are not dangerous at all.

Public bathrooms—yes, disgusting. I try to avoid them, but with small children sometimes you just can’t wait until you get home. I flat out tell my kids to not touch anything in the bathroom once they’ve washed their hands. Use some hand-sanitizer once you get out of the bathroom if she’s too little to understand and just can’t keep her hands off things.

Other nasty things, like garbage and dead critters, should also be off-limits. A small child isn’t going to understand about germs, but just keep stressing the idea that those things are “yucky.” Again, some hand sanitizer is great for when her little hands move faster than you can.

Bugs, frogs, mud, dirt, sand—no problem there. In fact, you and your child should go in search of these things on a regular basis. Let her pick up worms, and don’t freak out. Catch some frogs, catch some grasshoppers, play in the mud. Then, wash your hands. As long as your child washes her hands after exploring the dirtier side of nature, she’ll be fine. She also won’t grow up to be one of “those girls” who screams and squeals at the sight of something slimy.

Besides, exposure to germs is the only way to help build up her immune system!

I have three kids, and while certain things do really disgust me, anything that can be found in nature is OK for my kids to handle (unless it’s poisonous, of course!). Last year my daughter’s girl scout troop got to dissect squid at the aquarium, and my daughter dove right in without so much as a shudder. She’s an expert at catching snakes, frogs, and turtles, and is perfectly healthy.

bathrooms – in public, I never let touch stuff(as much as possible anyway) by holding their hands and directing them to what they could touch.

Outside and playing – well if they get dirty and gross, they get dirty and gross…the only way to learn is to touch, smell and taste, etc..so supervision and encouragement or discouragement will help them learn what they need to learn. Eventually, we see one of our kids with a mouth full of something gross and we just cringe!

At home – we pretty let them have run of the house. In “Baby-proofed” homes there should be no real fears of them touching stuff.

I use no bleach, and practically no commercial cleaning products in my house. My son rarely gets sick, and when he does..we know exactly who got him sick. (like his cousin who is in daycare)

I think sometimes kids do gross things, it happens. I would never purposely expose him to gross things. The public restroom situation is a toughie, because I rarely use my stroller, and if I have to go to the bathroom…it’s hard to keep him inside the stall with me, and wipe myself..I usually have to hold it in til we get home lol.

I never let him play with the toys at the Pediatricians, that’s like asking to get some random illness.

Other than that, I let my son get “dirty”. I think the fact that I use no disinfectant and don’t wash my sons hands confuses people. We want him to be exposed to germs though.Of course if the situation warranted it, I’d wash his hands…but it’s rare.
What skeeves you our? What are you afraid of? I understand the bathroom thing, that’s totally understandable…but other than that, germs are evreywhere, you can avoid getting sick but overwashing the hands with antibacterial soap can cause resistance.

I don’t let @johnpowell come over and play with them.

(Rimshot)

This question got me thinking about disgusting things my kids have done over the years. The time my daughter picked up a syringe on the beach, the time one of my sons picked up dog poo, the time my other son drank toilet water…they all lived, and not even the dog poo or the toilet water caused an illness.

There’s only so much you can do—even if you are right next to a kid, they can reach out and grab something before you even realize what’s happening. I’ve seen a kid trip while running across the grass and break a wrist, knock a tooth loose while sitting in a chair, shove a handful of sand into their mouth, try to eat a rock, trip too close to a bookcase and knock a tooth clean out—it’s almost mind-bloggling what they get up to. These are not all examples of my own kids, by the way! The best you can do is prevent what you can and deal with the rest as it comes. Teach good habits and don’t overreact to things that really can’t hurt the kid. Then write down everything that does happen so you can laugh about it later!

I saw my little (second) cousins today. I took them for a walk in my grandpa’s rather large backyard. We found a worm.

I don’t know how their parents would feel about it, but I don’t think they would mind
very much. Still, I don’t think they play with worms very often either. I don’t want them to grow up the way too many people grow up, fearing every little bug and natural thing under the silly notion that it’s dirty or gross. So whenever I have a chance to influence a little kid, I try to expose them to stuff like that. Not bathrooms though, that is gross. And potentially dangerous.

As much of a neat freak I can be, I still allow him to explore. It’s important to let them do this – just when it’s very harmful or potentially really dangerous, that’s when you need to intervene.

That is why I always carry hand sanitizer and wipes. You simply can’t avoid gross stuff in life, although I do try to avoid public bathrooms, especially ones that seem less cared for than most.

I spent most of my time keeping my kids from messing with electricity, and I always made them wash very thoroughly whenever poop from whatever species was involved. However, bugs, snakes, worms, spiders and all that is just fine with me. I was a curator in a natural history museum and spent my working life messing with all that sort of stuff.

The other thing I had to do, especially with my son, was keep track of car keys (he snuck the truck key out of my husband’s pocket one time when he was three yo and when I came home from work he was revving the engine), always be in arms reach whenever he was anywhere near a street, and never, ever let him near plumbing by himself (he caused more late night plumber visits than anyone I have ever met).

But dirt, critters and even a little filth was no big deal.

There are places to let kids explore.. the public bathroom isn’t one of them. =D

I don’t think I can add much more than the rest of the fluther community. My daughter uses public bathrooms, like others have said, as long as you teach your daughter to wash her hands I wouldn’t worry too much. I do feel some parents over react to cleanliness. I love a clean and tidy house and expect my daughter to clean up after herself (she’s 10)but when she was little we used to love getting to soil from the garden and making mud pies, and I have a piccie of her somewhere eating sand on a french beach!
Once your daughter starts school she is going to be exposed to all sorts, buid up her immune system whilst she is young!

Exploration of the world that might cause a small harm is important. I would only intervene when it’s about serious harm that can be inflicted. A few germs are actually beneficial for a child.

Jack79 and NaturalMineralWater: i didn’t want to give the impression that my daughter plays in public bathrooms!!! i meant that when we’re in a public bathroom, she sometimes wants to touch things or crawl out from under the partition when that to me is totally gross. you both made comments implying that she plays in public bathrooms. no no no. just wanted to clarify.

I know, but in that case it’s obvious that you shouldn’t let her. There are health reasons for that. My daughter would also do that if I let her. But I carry her when we go in, so she has no choice.

In any other case (for me the rule of thumb is whether the danger is visible), I let her roam freely and explore the world. And even get hurt a bit, so she can learn what to avoid.