Could someone please explain to me why it is, after having politely turned down the romantic advances of a person who really cares and thinks the world of you, that they then turn around and talk shit about you?

I would venture to say that the person is embarrassed and hurt that you don’t feel the same way, therefore, shit-talking you is the easiest way to retaliate. Unrequited love is not fun and can make a person crazy…

They’re hurt.
And childish.

That’s all.

You have unwittingly shattered their dreams. They are embarrassed and hurt, but also are now afraid you will make fun of them for having come on to you, so they are trying to make sure no one will believe you.

They are not exactly being mature about the whole thing.

They are doing what they feel like they have to do to extinguish their affection for you because it isn’t reciprocated.

And they’re punishing you because they’re hurt and embarrassed. And childish.

In other words, everybody above is right. And so am I.

Nothing to add to these fine answers, but I’m sorry you are going through this.

And it sucks because they are most likely closing any doors to you that they may previously had.

They want to prove to you how much they really care about you and how highly they value you. Or maybe they didn’t take your rejection as calmly as you expected.

I always heard that love and hate are essentially two poles of the same emotion. It seems like the stronger the emotion is in one polar direction, once it is squashed, it flips poles and becomes just as strong in the opposite direction. You’ve seen it flip from love to hate.

Another example would be when somebody hates something and has a change of heart, they tend to love it with the same intensity. The biblical story of Saul/Paul comes to mind. He spent his life persecuting Christians. Once he had his personal revelation, he bacame one of Christ’s biggest supporters. That’s typical behavior with religious converts.

Actually, a lot of people think that love and hate are very closely related, and their mutual opposite is indifference. The only difference between love and hate is intention, they are both obsessions.

Anyone who does this is a small person in how they are expressing they’re their hurt feelings. Sounds like high school stuff but I see grown adults do it all the time.

they’re hurt. they want to accentuate your negatives instead of remembering the things they like about you. they’re maybe a little immature, but probably more than anything they’re just really upset.

Glad to see you dodged that bullet. Just imagine how things would be if you actually dated the person and had a fallout later?

It proves your initial instincts were right on.

Some of us don’t handle rejection well.