If I’m driving across the Golden Gate Bridge, and I see someone on the railing and it looks like they’re gonna jump, then I’d like to think I would stop and try to talk them down.
Once when I was coming back from a therapy appointment—this was back when I had just been diagnosed and was really pretty depressed still—I saw a bunch of papers (business size) strewn around on the street, and a number of people standing around looking up. I looked up, and I think I saw an open window with someone looking out of it. I don’t know if I remember this correctly, but I think some guy yelled “Do it!” Maybe someone else copied him.
It was too much for me, so I hurried down the subway entrance. It was too hard thinking about this person jumping, if that was what they were going to do. It was too hard because that was what I thought about far too much. Even now, it’s hard for me to remember. I remember thinking that maybe it was a student who was under too much pressure. The papers reminded me of notes, although I didn’t get a close look at them.
I don’t really think this is an analogous situation. Maybe I could have waded in and tried to make the jerks understand what they were doing. But there was no way to talk to the guy that far up. Maybe I could have said, “Hold on, buddy, I’m gonna join you.” No. I might have thought that, but I would never have said that.
I don’t know. In the end, I think it would depend on so many things—was I feeling strong or weak; was I in a hurry; whether I saw what I thought I saw. If I was next to someone on the train, I certainly would try to help them. I always do that. But if they were about to do it, I don’t know if I could take the responsibility. If they succeeded, I would feel so guilty, I don’t know if I could stand it. And the image of them jumping, or whatever, would burn in my mind forever.
Although, come to think of it, if someone announces they are going to do it, then they don’t really want to. They just want help. If you really want to do it, you do it in private.