What do you do if a guy says he wants to be affectionate and hook up but?

If he says he is not interested in a relationship but she wants a relationship she should not get involved with him. He is still hurting from a divorce and may take years to be ready to have a relationship again.

I do not think she is over analyzing at all. She needs to trust her inner instincts.

Like Dog says, it’s more important your friend knows what she wants from this particular guy. Would she be okay with him being just an occasional companion while keeping open to someone else who’d offer her more interest? He’s already put his cards on the table which is a good thing.

I would say if you can get him to agree to exclusivity… go for it.

In that way it would be all but an actual relationship. It would assure she wasn’t just being used, but at the same time wouldn’t completely link him into a relationship.

Basically they’d be dating, but not “officially” dating.

Well this is the thing. When you first meet someone you hangout and go on dates etc. The fact is he just said out loud what is obvious, its that they don tknow where it is going to go. He said yeah eventually if it is all going well than they will be boyfriend and girlfriend. THe thing that gets me is if he just wants a friends with benefits type of this why would he care if she saw anyone else?

It is all a part of life and those “benefits” go both ways. When not in a committed relationship there is nothing wrong in being in a fun relationship. Most people have quite a series of sexual relationships before finding a fully committed one on both sides. As for not wanting her to see other guys, that is just more than likely just possessiveness, not a probable future commitment possibility. Let it happen.

Before people are in a committed relationship isnt this what they do though? He just said it out loud.

@missjena You keep saying that, he just said it out loud. Are you just wanting us to confirm that you are correct? Why not just let whatever may happen happen and be there for your friend if it doesn’t work out.

She just wanted your thoughts on that.

…i would ask my mom or dad for their advice, some authority figure in my life, not strangers- especially if i was a child…

…my mom was great at giving me advice…

Isn’t that what this website is for? Maybe you shouldn’t have joined then. I’m asking for my friend she doesn’t live with her parents. That was annoying.

What I don’t understand is if he is willing to participate in all of the usual “dating” activities and acknowledges this, and admits that if things go well it could develop into a relationship, then why not just call it dating? I would understand if he said that he wanted to take it slow, but that’s not what he said. He wants the benefits of a relationship without the complications of a relationship. I think your friend should probably concentrate on taking it slow with this guy and being friends first.

It’s called “seeing someone”. There is no commitment to a relationship. It leaves him and your friend open to seeing other people. He doesn’t want a commitment. If your friend is happy with being a “girlfriend” without the title or benefits then she should stay with him. I don’t see where the problem understanding this is. He wants the fun parts but not the responsible parts.

He said he doesn’t think they should seeanyone else and he doesn’t want get seeing anyone else.

So is the issue just in the wording? He doesn’t want to say they are dating, yet they are by all accounts because he isn’t seeing anyone else, she isn’t seeing anyone else.

he recently got out of a 6 yr relationship I’m sure that has something to do with it.