What do I do about this guy that I really like?

Drop him.
You’re not in love. Neither is he.

He’s playing you both, keeping his options open.

You were his backup cause your friend said no, run the fuck away.

agreed with @asmonet

it may be difficult to let him go but if hes going to screw you about while he figures out what/who he wants then better to walk away (far easier said than done, i know…)...

If hooking up is this hard can you imaging the actual relationship. This is the easy part. You want a nightmare.

You never want a guy that picks you second, and lets you know it.

You’re not in love with him. Get over that idea now.

You love the idea of being with the person you think he is, not the person he actually is.

I don’t think people that like to play around and, indeed, keep their options open, are worth it to be dated. Find someone you can trust and doesn’t have this annoying habit :)

I should add, don’t worry about being able to bear letting him go. You don’t have anything with this guy to begin with. There’s nothing to let go of…

Agreed with @asmonet and @The_Compassionate_Heretic. Imagine your best pal is in the same predicament and is asking you what she should do.

I’ll give you a second…

See? Jerky behaviour, innit? You don’t need that. Pfft. Forget him.

Quote from asmonet:

Drop him.
You’re not in love. Neither is he.

He’s playing you both, keeping his options open.

You were his backup cause your friend said no, run the fuck away.

@asmonet is giving you very wise advice. You deserve better.

I agree with @asmonet.

And from my own personal experience, do yourself a favor and don’t get involved with him. You will save yourself a lot of regrets later on. I know he seems like he is the guy for you, or that maybe you could be the one to save him or tame him, but trust me, he is a player, and when he leaves you for the next hot blonde that comes around, you won’t know what hit you.

JohnPowell got it from a guys perspective and he is correct, if hooking up is hard, the relationship will be horrible.

I agree with what is said here. Everyone is giving you good advice.

He just trying to seduce you; if you are attracted to him-go for it. I would be suspect in anything beyond a possible great sexual relationship, however.

@Garebo: That’s entirely unhelpful, her emotions are involved. Not just her sex drive. You’re advising her to sign on for heartbreak.

@asmonet: Sorry, I don’t believe his sincerity from the way she describes it.
To me, the guy has one thing on his mind, and her emotional state is a short term hurdle he can jump over to get to the finishing line and win the trophy. Hopefully, it is the trophy he really wants to enjoy for the rest of his life, but if he is use to winning a lot of trophies which it sounds like he does; then, you could become just another dusty trophy for him.

wait wait wait. I’m only in 9th grade! i met him at my CHURCH. I’m a virgin and plan to stay like that till i’m married.

Thanks, for the info, still you 9th graders are like on steroids compare to when I was in 9th grade, which happened to be the best times in female companionship I ever had until I got married.
My point was, be careful, so you don’t get taken advantage of, or hurt-hard. You will have plenty more opportunities for that.
Thanks, I will shut up-you seriously humbled me.

It seems to me that there’s a lot of overreaction going on here. Being so young, this relationship is likely to be mainly a close friendship more than anything else. Maybe a little fooling around, but the relationship is unlikely to last. It’s what kids do.

You know, young men are pretty impatient. When you said, “I’ll think about it,” he probably thought you were saying “fuck off” in a polite way. So he asked your friend. The drama starts. He has no idea that you “love” him. You’re acting like you couldn’t care less about him. So he’s acting appropriately, even though he still likes you. It was brave of him to try again.

One thing you should know is that you will be able to get over him. When you’re young, and these feelings are new, they seem like the hugest thing in the world. Your first love—you imagine it will last forever. Your first breakup is the worst thing you’ve ever felt, and you don’t see how you will survive. Eventually, as you get more experience, you’ll learn that you can survive the ups and downs of your emotions. It’s not that you will take them less seriously, but you will have more context to place them in.

Us older folks have that context, and we can say “take it easy.” But we’re not in your place. All I can tell you is that your feelings are ramped up unbelievably, and they are probably causing you to over react. Let things happen. You can go out with him without being in love. You can have a good time, or not, and it’s not the end of the world. You can go out with him without fully trusting him. You can be friends. There are many possibilities.

This is not a life-defining decision. He could be the one you spend your life with, although that is unlikely. However, you can have fun and protect yourself at the same time, if you take it slowly and carefully. If he wants sex, you have a choice. You don’t have to do what he wants. You can explore your feelings, and see what happens. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Just see what happens, and don’t make it seem like these things are huge, life-changing decisions. You have time to find out what you are feeling, and if he feels similarly, or not.