Will my ex ever be happy?
My ex has filed for divorce, I have already signed the papers. My ex never really wanted to get married, never acted like a married person and we were only married for a few months. My s/o is very controlling in every sense of the word. When my s/o discovered I actually had a backbone and wouldn’t just lay down and do what they wanted they went ahead and filed for divorce. We had issues like any other marriage, but I was told that everything was my fault. As hard as it was when my s/o decided to end things, looking back on it now, I count my blessings and thank God that this relationship only lasted a short while. My s/o says that they have nothing to work on when it comes to whats inside. My question is: Will a person such as my ex ever really be happy with anybody else if they have that kind of mentality? The only person that would ever be happy with my ex would have to be a person that has no problem being bossed around and doesn’t mind being treated like a second class citizen. I just want my ex to be happy.
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13 Answers
Your ex is not your problem anymore. Let him work it out on his own. You’re lucky you didn’t have time to have kids. Move on and don’t look back.
they might chance
and it is possible they’ll be happy with someone else other than you because perhaps you weren’t the right person for them and they weren’t the right person for you
Why are you so worried? Whatever happens to your ex let it happen.
Just curious, I read this as if you were a man, and your ex a woman…is that right?
my ex girl was just as similar…though we had a good relationship for sometime…her attitude just screwed things up…she was way too possesive…too bossy and really micro-managing things…well I am happy after 2yrs later…we keep in touch though…
Your ex has to decide what s/he wants and has to attend to his or her own happiness. It’s no longer your problem, if it ever was.
(And for heaven’s sake, why did you get married in the first place if he or she didn’t want to?)
Your ex sounds like the kind of man who orders an Asian mail order bride to find contentment.
He wants a submissive obedient wife who is more of a servant than a companion.
@cwilbur: well she actually proposed to me. My s/o didn’t come across as controlling or any of that when we were dating but things changed after we got married. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson.
I don’t see where that is really any of your concern. It’s none of your business to decide that you want your ex to be happy. That sounds controlling to me. If she wants to be unhappy who are you to say she can’t?
Hell, I want my ex to be happy. I’m just not prepared to do a whole lot to make it happen, and I’m certainly not going to do anything he doesn’t ask me to do.
When you’re involved with someone, you can contribute to his or her happiness, but you can’t take responsibility for it—that’s the fast path to misery. When you are no longer involved with someone, you really can’t take responsibility for someone else’s happiness.
@Yarnlady: I don’t sound controlling at all. My ex was the one who was a control freak. So you have no freaking idea what the hell you are talking about. Mind your own business.
@blaksquid ; sorry, but it does sound like you are still trying to have an influence on her future.
If you don’t want opinions, don’t ask questions in an open forum. If you are just looking to have your own opinion validated I think you came to the wrong place.
@blaksquid My “business” as you call it is answering questions when they are asked. If you don’t like the answer, don’t ask the question. Of course I don’t know you. I can only go by what you wrote “I just want my ex to be happy.” which shows that you think it’s your business how she feels. I say it’s not!
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