Is it bad that my mom still pays my cell phone bill?

I’d feel like less of an adult if my mother paid any of my bills by the time I had a job, house, or car.

Tell her to stop paying your celphone bill, both of you download Skype, and talk for free.

NO! be happy that you have one less bill.

Hum… did you ask her to pay for it or did she offer?
You’re being babied a little, but if you’re otherwise a healthy, responsible young adult, which it sounds like you are, consider it a gift from mom and be grateful. My mom pays for my netflix and Newsweek subscriptions. And I’m 29.

Well…. I still pay for my son’s phone and he’s 26. He’s on my cell phone family plan so it costs me an extra 10 bucks and saves him ~30. I wouldn’t mind if he threw some cash this way now and then but he does split wood occasionally so I figure it’s a wash.

Help your mom. Do something nice for her. Take her car to be inspected and pay for it.

Every family is different. If it works for you guys, what does it matter what anyone else thinks?

It means that you are still connected to the apron strings. If your mom asks you to do something, the fact that she pays your cell phone bill looms between you as you make a decision.

One thought: what if you did a pay-as-you-go plan? Or what if you research the best family plan and figure out if you can save your Mom money? Or what if you pay your share or part of your share of the bill?

Your will feel more your own guy!

My first reaction is that your mom should not be paying your bills. However, some parents have different values than American individualism. If she pays for it, no questions asked, and she isn’t holding it over you, then let her pay it. It might make her feel like she is still caring for you. When you are able, pay for it yourself. Count yourself lucky that you have a mom who values you over money and ideas. My parents haven’t given me anything since I was 17 years old. I’m not jealous.

Don’t forget, though, that while you may be legally an adult, you will always be her baby. Parenting doesn’t stop at age 18 or 21. It stops when the parent dies (unless they leave you a trust fund).

However, if you ask her not to and tell her you have it covered (and you do) she will undoubtedly stop. But then she might start sending you random newspaper articles by snail mail or forwarding tired jokes to your email.

She’s your mom. She loves you. She wants to help you. If paying for your cell phone bill doesn’t help you, tell her what would. “Ya know, Mom, I can handle the phone biil myself these days, but what I really need is a big box of your chocolate chip cookies every now and then.”

My mom pays for my New Yorker subscription and I’m 56! But it makes her happy to know she is giving me a gift I enjoy and really use.

Overall it saves the family money if he’s on my cell phone family plan. My mother-in-law is also on my plan. Everyone benefits.
I figure I’m spending his inheritance.

I have a house, car and well-paid job, but I’m still on the “family plan” for my cell and the family car insurance package. I have payments sent to my mom automatically each month for my proportion (not the $10 add-a-line cost, but 1/5th of the regular bill). This saves me money and I don’t feel weird about it. I would suggest you start paying your mom rather than having to take out a new plan.

All this chatter… :-) YES it is bad. Make all the excuses you all want.

If she’s helping and not giving you any kind of guilt with it and you are truly in need and don’t feel awkward accepting then it’s working for you two. me personally, I’d have to be desperate in order to accept that from my parents; we’re all different

My parents pay quite a few of my bills, even when I am quite able to pay them. They feel it is their duty as parents to help their children in that way.
I know not all parents are like this. Because, if my husbands parents had just paid off the little bit left on his student loan, he would have never been deliquent in paying for it, thus now he is not able to get any grants because of it. That one little thing will affect the rest of his life and lifestyle. Now, I’m not saying it’s fully his parents fault, but there are just some things parents should do for their children.
I don’t view it as anything really. It’s not like you go around telling people your mother pays it, so it’s not a big deal. I don’t go around telling people which specific things my parents pay for, for me. Although, people know that my parents buy me a new car every few years…that one is pretty obvious.

My friend is 25, lives on his own in his first house on a lake and has a successful engineering job, but his parents pay for his cell phone. Think of it as a year round gift. Just make sure u call her and talk to her so she doesn’t feel like she is paying for nothing

“My parents pay quite a few of my bills, even when I am quite able to pay them.”
Now that is just wrong. But go ahead. Keep making excuses for freeloading.

It’s a parent’s duty to get their kids to the point where they can support themselves, not to continue supporting them (financially, I mean) for the rest of their lives. There’s a rather large difference.

My parents would pay many of my bills if I asked, because they would assume I really need the help or that their grandkids would suffer if they didn’t. However, since my brother really does have problems paying his bills, I let them worry about him and not me.

I don’t need the help and they don’t need the worry. Getting the New Yorker for free is like Christmas all year round so it doesn’t count.

It’s not that uncommon.

I’m sure most don’t have a problem with it, but I feel if you have a house, you should be paying your own cell phone bill.

@ChazMaz I have offered to pay, and have told them they don’t need to pay..but they want to. I think it’s rude to refuse and make them stop.

It’s time to cut the cord (umbilical as well as phone). Is there any reason Mom needs access to you 24/7? A phone is essential but a land line should fit in your budget. Throw in a $20 answering machine and that could give Mom a way to get hold of you.

When you get married, if Mom remains as intrusive, you might have other issues.

@galileogirl How is paying a bill intrusive? She’s not questioning who he calls, his use of texting, or dictating who or who he can’t talk to, is she? Am I right that she’s just paying a bill and nothing else to do with the phone?

Rude? And the excuses keep coming. You would be surprised (even if you have to assert it) how proud your parents would be for standing up for yourself.

@casheroo You “offer to pay” for dinner out, or to get the cab fare. You don’t “offer to pay” for your own personal bills. You just do it.

If your parents want to do something nice for you, they can take that monthly amount and buy you a nice Christmas or birthday present. Something you don’t at all need, but is a true gift. A service like a celphone is your own responsibility. It’s not a gift.

@ChazMaz You are hung-up on the idea of American individualism. In may Latin American and Asian countries family are always interdependant. Stop being so judgmental.

@tinyfaery the key letters in your response are “inter”. There is no evidence that @casheroo or @evolverevolve are in any way supporting their parents as their parents are supporting them. That is not interdependance. That’s just dependance.

@MrItty You do not know my personal situation with my family. My parents are not supporting us. I guess you could argue that they are, since we just moved into their house, paying them rent though. They’ve decided to help us by doing that.
Also how does paying for a cell phone bill equal a parent completely supporting a child? Last time I checked, there were many other bills to pay than cell phone. Cell phone is a luxury, and I think it’s more of a gift than leeching off a parent. and no, my parents do not pay my cell phone bill.

@galileogirl good call, definitely an option. I do help them out though, they go out of town 5–6 times a year and I watch my sister as well as my moms 4 dogs and two birds, so I guess its a decent trade off, even though they do throw me some money for the sitting every now and again

Umm… still judging. You don’t know what casheroo or evolver do for their parents. You know nothing about them.

@casheroo I did not say “completely supporting” or “completely dependent”. I said you have dependence on your parents, and that you and your parents do not have interdependence. By paying your bills, your parents are – in part – supporting you.

@tinyfaery your “you’re judgemental!” thing is getting old. To be judgemental is to have an opinion. If you don’t have an opinion, why are you here? And frankly, isn’t you telling me “You’re judgemental” over and over again, being judgemental?

@MrItty But how does the fact that my parents choose to pay my student loan off, when it is actually deferred right now, me being dependent? It doesn’t have to be paid, they’re doing it out of love and because they can.
I really think this boils down to jealousy. People can’t stand when others have things “handed to them” when they actually just have a different family dynamic.

@casheroo because it’s money you owe that they’re paying. That’s kinda the definition of dependance.

It has nothing to do with jealousy. Quite the contrary. I’m VERY proud that I don’t need my parents to pay any of my finances. The day I was able to buy my first car without them cosigning, and the day I was able to start making payments on their Parent Plus loans they took out for me to go to college, were two of the happiest days of my life.

” the idea of American individualism?” You have to be kidding me? ” In many Latin American and Asian countries family are always interdependent.”
First we are not in a 3rd world country or I might better understand an interdependent dynamic. But when you can afford it yourself or can do without. But instead, sponge off your family or for that matter friends. You are nothing but a mooch. How do you ever expect to better yourself and be truly successful, if all you are doing is taking advantage of others. That was the whole purpose of the piggy bank. Your “justifiable” excuse is still an excuse.
You need to grow up. I mean that with total respect to you.

@MrItty I’m very proud as well that I don’t need my parents to pay for anything. I’m very proud that I can afford a car, grad school (with loan), my bills, an apartment, and a little fun. But when my parents say “hey, you want Netflix/Help with paying your health insurance/For us to pay half your grad school, etc?” I usually say “yes please!”

Being happy and proud of being able to support myself doesn’t mean I can’t also be happy and grateful to have a helpful family. It sounds like you maybe think being proud of yourself negates the ability to accept some family perks?

Also, I’m confused about why you say a cell phone can’t be a gift. If the OP want one, and his parents are willing to pay for it, how is that not a gift? Hell, I’d happily trade a frivolous birthday present or two from my folks for them to pay one of my utilities as a gift.

I have a 33 year old friend who still gets her car insurance paid by her dad. I don’t think the cell phone is a big deal, especially if it is part of a family plan and saves money in the long run.

The main thing is, does it bother you? It seems like it does or you wouldn’t have asked the question. If it bothers you, you should do something about it. Maybe even asking if your parents can do the family plan and you insist on paying for the addition of your line.

I don’t get how everyone is saying “well if the cell phone is under a family plan then it’s ok” Well that is all fine and good but I don’t think it is. The point of taking out a cell phone plan and paying it off yourself is responsibility. You don’t need to have it. Having food, electricity, and water in your apartment I can understand. As long as your parents don’t feel so bad about it then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just know that having a cell phone isn’t a need as much as it really is a luxury as much as society as placed upon that.

@casheroo “But how does the fact that my parents choose to pay my student loan off”, maybe because it is your student loan that you took out so in turn your responsibility to pay it off. I don’t think i’m jealous of you being handed anything, because I know I can always ask for help, in fact I think it is different than just taking the responsibility by budgeting yourself for everything.

@Likeradar The point is when you are an adult you stand on your own two feet financially. We all do nice things for our parents and they do nice things for us but under normal circumstances that doesn’t include paying each other’s bills. The time may come when you or your parents lose jobs or are hit by a catastrophic event or illness. But financial dependence gives them license to “be all up in your business.”

Also anyone who can’t leave a message on your answering machine but has to talk to you at their convenience, not yours, is intrusive. They are saying that their message, request or chat is more important than your work, driving or conversations with others. Unless you are a doctor or deliveryman, that is probably not true. Especially if Mom is the caller.

@chaz 3rd world? Is Japan the 3rd world? And, umm…this country is made up of immigrants who bring their cultural ideas with them. Plus, I’m “American” and hold no value in the idea of individualism-it’s a big fat lie.
Money means absolutely nothing.

@galileogirl We’ll just have to agree to disagree :)

@Likeradar Because it’s not “a celphone”. It’s a celphone plan. It’s a monthly bill. It is not “a gift”. It is a monthly payment. At best, it’s a gift given every single month, without end in sight. That’s not a gift, at least by any definition I understand. That’s just someone paying your bills for you.

I guess we’re going to have to agree to disagree on how you should react when family says “Hey you want me to pay for that for you?” I would be offended, because I consider it somewhat insulting to be offered money when not in exchange for anything. If you want to give me a gift, fine, because I will likely be giving you a gift in similar circumstances (ie, holidays, birthdays, special events).

If my parents ever offered me money for no reason, I would look at them like they were nuts, and tell them that if they have extra money lying around they should either take themselves on a cruise or donate it to a worthy charity.

@blondie411 Technically it’s not just my student loan. Since I signed up late for the school year (back in 2005) I needed a cosigner, and my father co-signed. I was just 19, so I barely had any credit to my name. So, this does help them out I guess, for their credit. But, the loan is deferred right now they just keep paying it. I have no problem with that, since they know they don’t have to pay it every month. I appreciate what they’re doing for me.

Oh, and this might blow all your minds…but my parents even paid to build an extra bedroom onto their house so my husband, son and I could move in GASP!!!! My husband got laid off, for the second time within six months and now we live with them and pay rent. God forbid a family actually work together and help each other through hard times.
Life throws curveballs, and parents being there for their children is how it should be. I hope when we’re older, my husband and I can help our children as much as possible.

You said Asian countries, not Japan. Now you are stretching it.
” I’m “American” and hold no value in the idea of individualism.”
Of course you don’t, or you would have to pay for your own things.
Also, it is not an issue of parents paying to help you get ahead or provide you with something you need that you cant afford.
It is that if you do not need it from them you should not take it. Or respectfully refuse it. Otherwise it is disrespectful. Or your parents still see you as a needy child, so they are always helping you.
Some people like that. SO they can take and take. Hey, you think I need the money. Ok… I will take it.
I think of The Seinfield Show. His parents would always pay for dinner, or refuse gifts. They could not understand that he was making good money as a comedian. But he would insist. Because he did not need THAT type of help.
There is a big difference between fancy soap for Christmas and your parents paying the monthly utility and/or phone bill. One is a gift one is a responsibility.

Parents helping vs. grown adults not taking responsibility are two different things.

Amen sister! You are so smart!
All those wasted words for such a simple answer!

All I can say is that my parents don’t drive me anywhere. However, they do ask me to drive them places, which I do.

I figure if they want to buy me the New Yorker that’s okay by me.

@Chaz Can you read? My parents kicked me out at 17 and have given me NOTHING since. I payed my way through college and a master’s program, while working full-time. Think before you speak!

I think very clearly. :-)
Not all I said was directed to you except for you saying. ” I’m “American” and hold no value in the idea of individualism it’s a big fat lie. ” AND the asian thing. Take it easy honey.

I love The New Yorker!

hahaha i would not care at all. if my parents want to pay my bills untill im 50 they can.

@Chaz Don’t call me honey, and I won’t call you a pig.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my parents paying any of my bills on a month to month basis. I know that if I ever have an emergency my parents will help. Last year I got a $800+ gas bill (malfunctioning pool heater) and I freaked out and called my dad. He paid it. I have my mom on my phone bill, on fact I even have my sons best friend on my phone bill. I don’t make my mom pay me because if I ever need anything I can ask her. Right now she is using my other car because hers is broken. Since she’s had my car for months she’s gone ahead and replaced the tires. It’s give and take, and I dont think I would feel like a real adult if I just let my parents pay my bills month to month. When you go through a hard time, you should be able to count on family.
And as a side note, I consider phones a necessity. Maybe it’s not on the same level as food and shelter, but I wouldn’t feel safe without a phone. You can do without a texting and internet plan on the phone, but being able to contact someone in an emergency is important.

We help our son and his family, we help our parents, we help our DIL, and we support various charities. I fail to see what is wrong with this picture.

@YARNLADY True, I guess it does come down to people helping people. I guess it doesn’t matter how much we’ve pissed each other off in the past, it’s about family right?

@evolverevolve That’s right. My DIL used to think I was the MIL from hell when they first got married.

Ok sweetheart.

Is she still paying your cell phone bill?