There’s a education expert named Alphie Kohn, who argues strongly against bribing, and, I believe, against punishment, as well. He argues that we want our kids to behave due to intrinsic motivation, not due to rewards and punishments. We want our kids to do the right thing because they figure out, on their own, that it is good for them, and to trust that if they don’t do what we want them to do, they don’t think our way is good for them.
In this, everyone is responsible for their own behavior. If a child does something I don’t like, I treat them the same as if an adult did something I don’t like. If someone isn’t nice to me, I don’t try to be nice to them. They’re my kids, but I don’t owe them a free pass just because of that. In any case, it’s not helpful to them.
If a child wants to do something you don’t want them to do, it’s best to try to understand what they want, instead of just saying no. Then, once you understand, you can suggest a more acceptable alternative way to get what they want. If they want you to buy something for them, you discuss ways they can earn money to buy the thing.
If it’s a toddler, and you’re going to Toys R Us, you set the rules before you go in. With my kids it was that they could enjoy looking and wanting as much as they wanted, but we weren’t going to get them anything. I read somewhere that the average parent gives on, maybe, the fifteenth time a child asks for something. Maybe it’s only the seventh time, I don’t remember. Don’t give in just to get the kid to stop asking (whining). Whining is designed by evolution to be an excellent tactic for gaining access to more resources. It works, but it doesn’t have to.
Instead, try to redirect the child towards something else, or to an understanding of what our purpose right now is (in age appropriate terms, of course). Even appeal to imagination “what would you do if you had that?” As with the lottery, what toys are selling, mostly, is fantasy. Redirect them to the fantasy without actually using the toy. I’m sure there are a hundred alternatives one could use, but the point is that if you are patient, and use your imagination, and have a child-rearing principle in mind, you can find other ways to respond besides bribing. You’ll find the ways that work in your family.